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Original poster

I think my husband has blocked me?!

506 replies

MyBloodyBrother · 03/03/2023 20:45

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

OP posts:
Fansandblankets · 04/03/2023 12:43

What a shit thing to be going through ☹️. I hope you’re ok x

Crunchymum · 04/03/2023 12:44

Sounds like you've kicked this arsehole into touch once so you know you can do it again. You know the age old adage "fool me once....."

However you posted

Hence my post a couple of days ago saying it was out of character as he’d done nothing to suggest he was slipping back into his old ways until that point

Which begs the question as to how things ever improved / got better / got back on track when he was stil AWOL from you and you DC for most of the week. I dread to think what was he like before if contact via WhatsApp only for 4 days a week was "better"

You deserve more. Everyone deserves more.

Change the locks so the fucker can never get back in.

YellowDaffodillie · 04/03/2023 12:51

I hope you’re okay OP?

When you need some more support, create a new thread on the Relationships board. There’s plenty of us who have been through similar and made it out the other side who can help guide and support you.

Chin up lass and try and enjoy your weekend with the kids.

Kittlbua · 04/03/2023 12:51

My life has been turned upside down in the past 24 hours and when things have happened previously MN has been supportive and really helpful until I was at a point I felt ready to speak to people in real life and make things more “official”

MN is not the place it used to be.
There seems to be an increasing number of posters who pile on the OP in a really obnoxious way, deliberately goading them, blaming them for whatever the situation is and no matter what has happened, saying the OP is in the wrong, even though that clearly isn't the case. (Thinking of the thread this week about a neighbour parking in front of the OP's drive - such a pile on, even a few months ago there might have been a couple of posters saying that she was in the wrong, but not a whole load of them)
We don't have to agree with every OP and the "tough love" some OPs got was probably helpful in the past but now people are just vile. You can disagree and give advice without being awful.

And that's before we even start talking about the influx of MRAs and incels who pop up on a lot of relationship threads, blaming and gaslighting the OP, when it's clear that the OP is being treated very unfairly by their partner.

I think MN is dying a slow death.

Ffsmakeitstop · 04/03/2023 12:57

Kittlbua · 04/03/2023 12:51

My life has been turned upside down in the past 24 hours and when things have happened previously MN has been supportive and really helpful until I was at a point I felt ready to speak to people in real life and make things more “official”

MN is not the place it used to be.
There seems to be an increasing number of posters who pile on the OP in a really obnoxious way, deliberately goading them, blaming them for whatever the situation is and no matter what has happened, saying the OP is in the wrong, even though that clearly isn't the case. (Thinking of the thread this week about a neighbour parking in front of the OP's drive - such a pile on, even a few months ago there might have been a couple of posters saying that she was in the wrong, but not a whole load of them)
We don't have to agree with every OP and the "tough love" some OPs got was probably helpful in the past but now people are just vile. You can disagree and give advice without being awful.

And that's before we even start talking about the influx of MRAs and incels who pop up on a lot of relationship threads, blaming and gaslighting the OP, when it's clear that the OP is being treated very unfairly by their partner.

I think MN is dying a slow death.

Totally agree. Some pp seem to revel in making the op feel worse than she/he already do.
Empathy, understanding and kindness are in very short supply here lately.
Hope you are ok op.

Mummyratbag · 04/03/2023 13:00

MN seems more batshit than normal this week.

I hope you are OK OP.

Glittertwins · 04/03/2023 13:02

Hope you are okay OP

DarkNecessities · 04/03/2023 13:09

I’m sorry OP 💐
You sound level headed and capable.

You will be ok.

AllOfThemWitches · 04/03/2023 13:14

Mn can be a toxic cesspool of miserable, unpleasant people who get off on dragging other women down. Luckily there are some real gems as well.

Anniegetyourgun · 04/03/2023 13:25

It's not MN itself, it's the human population in general. Not surprising a fair bit of the mud splashes over here as well.

justasking111 · 04/03/2023 13:26

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 11:36

I’m not saying the people pointing out that he might be having an affair are the bad guys. I’ve said myself that he might be having an affair. I’ve said that he doesn’t have another family (he had a vasectomy after dc2 was born), doesn’t love with another woman (I know his flat in London and there is no possible way a woman lives there unless she also likes navy sheets, decor that consists of a photo of the NY skyline, a single set of cutlery and plates and is happy washing with Head and Shoulders) and he won’t harm himself physically because I know what few things in life stress him out and being busy at work or me being upset with him are not issues.

I’m pissed off with the people constantly revelling in trying to make it worse than it is. My husband broke my heart a couple of years ago when we split and I spent a long time getting over it. He seemed truly shocked that I left and did absolutely everything to convince me he’d changed and I would never have got back together with him if I didn’t believe he had 100%. Hence my post a couple of days ago saying it was out of character as he’d done nothing to suggest he was slipping back into his old ways until that point. He might be having an affair, I understand that and think it’s absolutely possible. Constant replies of “he’s got another family” or “he might have harmed himself, how would that make you feel?” are unnecessary and cruel.

My life has been turned upside down in the past 24 hours and when things have happened previously MN has been supportive and really helpful until I was at a point I felt ready to speak to people in real life and make things more “official”. Many women on this thread have been supportive and I do truly appreciate it. I don’t understand what motivates people to make comments trying to make a situation worse though. I don’t want to continue this relationship for the reasons I already have. I’m trying very hard to act normally around my children and looking at MN to see people gloating about my naivety is incredibly hurtful.

Show quote history

@MyBloodyBrother if you know that you've done the right thing that's all that matters.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 04/03/2023 13:26

Oh @MyBloodyBrother I am so sorry for what your husband has put you through in the past, and is doing so again now. I am also sorry that so many Mumsnetters are either really stupid and have no empathy, or are also horrible people who should just be ignored - but I do know that that is easier said than done.

From what you have said here OP your life is very bloody stressful, and whatever your husband's reasons are for acting in such a nasty way, he doesn't deserve a third chance. If however you decide that for whatever reason you want/need to give him a third chance, please only do so if he gives up working in London completely, and probably sells the flat as well. You are not a single Mum, yet you have had to live like one for most of the time. Good luck OP in making the right decisions for you and your DC xx

XelaM · 04/03/2023 13:32

Just to add another perspective. I have worked with a man who was working away from his family 5 days per week. He was NOT having an affair and spoke of his family all the time. He did however like to work late and then go for a drink with his colleagues (especially his two closest mates - both men) after work and he liked going on "boys' holidays" cycling and sometimes didn't make it home over the weekend. He was, however 100% not having an affair (I am certain as I was dating his best mate and working with him, so saw him all the time).

Not all men that work away have affairs.

Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 13:32

I’ve still heard nothing from him and from what I can tell I’m still blocked. My eldest plays Pokémon Go though and said his dad has sent him a gift today. The gifts say where they were collected and this gift is from the town where his parents live up North. I’m guessing he’s there and done that deliberately so we know where he is. He won’t be coming back this weekend then as they’re up in the North West and we’re in the SW.

I’ll just carry on as I am, I guess. I’m not going to try and make contact with him and there’s nothing I need from him in the foreseeable. He knows where we are. I’m desperately sad for my kids more than anything as they were so happy to have him back again and I’m putting them through it all over again.

OP posts:
Pubesofsoberness · 04/03/2023 13:36

This is just cruel abusive behaviour. I don't think he's going to change and you and the dc deserve better

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotOfMen · 04/03/2023 13:37

Could you ring your MIL / FIL to find out what’s going on.
Even if it’s just for the kids.

Not telling you anything is so so inconsiderate for all of you.

AllOfThemWitches · 04/03/2023 13:38

What a nasty piece of shit he is. You're better off without, 100%.

Lockedinforwinter · 04/03/2023 13:38

He sounds deeply unpleasant, and you do deserve better. In the short term I think just carrying on and ignoring him is a good call, but maybe it would be a good idea to start planning for the long term. He can't be allowed to keep treating you like this!

Sunriseinwonderland · 04/03/2023 13:41

Doesn't it absolutely suck when men treat their kids like this - relationships come and go but these kids are part of him. How dare he treat them like this? I hope he dies lonely and alone with no family to stand by him.

BadNomad · 04/03/2023 13:41

Don't chase him. He knows what he's doing. Let him get on with it. The fallout from this is on him.

LilyAndTheKing · 04/03/2023 13:42

I can't agree that you're putting your children through this, the responsibility lies with their dad.
But of course you're there with them, witnessing their possible distress and it must be so difficult.
💐

LikeAStar1994 · 04/03/2023 13:43

Sorry that certain people on here are shit stirring and twisting things (Him having a second family, suicide etc) They're thinking of it as their own personal soap opera with no regard for you at all. Fucking sick.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 04/03/2023 13:44

God what an arse to not even let you know where he is.
Try and do something nice rather than sitting and stewing or chopping his clothes up into tiny pieces which I'm sure you feel like doing.

TequilaNights · 04/03/2023 13:44

Op, I use Pokemon Go, Gift locations are just the location you acquired the gift, not the location they are in at present.

Sorry you are going through this, hope you get some answers for you and for your son.

CottonSock · 04/03/2023 13:46

I saw your other thread. Your (d)h is an arse. I hope you get through the weekend OK, then start to make a plan. Sorry you are going through this.