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Original poster

A time you’ve regretted lending someone something

117 replies

shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:30

Money. I went on a city break with a friend who came with no money and so I ended up paying for all food/drinks etc. She looked annoyed at me buying a keyring as I didn’t offer to buy one for her too. We’re not friends anymore and she never returned the money.

Shoes. I picked friend up after a night out and she asked to borrow shoes. She kept them for two years (they were brand new) and retuned them in a state where it was obvious they’d been worn multiple times.

OP posts:
NoDairyNoProblem · 02/03/2023 18:41

@shutupheathe did you post about that trip at the time?

Original poster
shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:42

NoDairyNoProblem · 02/03/2023 18:41

@shutupheathe did you post about that trip at the time?

Responses like this are weird.

OP posts:
Badger1970 · 02/03/2023 18:47

When I fell pregnant with our 1st DC, DH spent weeks renovating my cot from when I was a baby - my Mum had kept it for two decades in her garage. When our DC had outgrown it, we popped it into the loft but then had a water leak and it had to go in the garage. A friend saw it in there, and asked if she could borrow it to use at her DM's house which was in our village. I reluctantly said yes, but that I wanted it back again. When our eldest fell pregnant, I asked for it back - and was told that they didn't know what their DM had done with it. I was heartbroken... it was a family heirloom. Never spoken to them since, I'm still furious about it.

DevantMaJardin · 02/03/2023 18:52

First year of uni I lent someone a gorgeous pair of silver glittery strappy shoes for a winter ball. She returned them with black toe marks where she'd worn them with absolutely filthy feet and one broken heel. They were brand new and she was the first person to wear them.

DevantMaJardin · 02/03/2023 18:53

The shoes had a broken heel, not the person I lent them to!

BettyBoopy · 02/03/2023 18:53

World book day (last year) a mum begging for last minute costumes on class WhatsApp group as hers hadn't been delivered in time. I lent her a few outfits from my kids' dress up box as wasn't sure of the other child's size. The other child wore one of the costumes, the mum thanked me via WhatsApp and I never saw the costumes again. I messaged the mum a couple of times to ask and she said she would pass them back via school. She never did. No big deal but pretty rude imo.

Emptycrackedcup · 02/03/2023 18:54

My car. I wasn't using it as I had no where to park it so let my BIL use it as they only had one car. I told him not to smoke it in. When I needed it back after about 6 months, he dropped it off with a gift. I then realised the cert was about to expire and it needed a wash, and smelt suspiciously smoky. Was not impressed.

MagentaRocks · 02/03/2023 18:54

shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:42

Responses like this are weird.

Show quote history

There was a thread like this not that long ago. I expect they were wondering if it was the same person.

frustratednomad · 02/03/2023 18:56

A photo that was taken of the entire school I went to, I asked several times for it back but never got it. That was about 60 years ago and it still annoys me.

mathanxiety · 02/03/2023 18:57

Loaned a beautifully illustrated children's book to a friend whose child had taken a shine to it while playing at my house. Never saw it again. Lesson learned.

BatFaceOwl · 02/03/2023 18:58

I Recognise what you're describing so it's not weird to ask if you're that same poster

Jux · 02/03/2023 18:58

I lent a friend a book. When she's finished with it it was wrecked. ShE clearly held it wrapped round itself so it was completely distorted and couldn't close anymore.

Another friend, another book. When I wanted to reread it (it was a pop science book) he'd lent it to someone else! How dare he? Not his to lend. That was the first problem. Second problem was the woman who now had it had lost it.

In neither instance did anyone offer to get me another cope, despite them all knowing we were completely broke, how rare and delightful it was to me to buy a new book instead of second hand, and all of them had good jobs earning easily enough to buy me a new £7 paperback. They also knew how long it had taken me to save that amount, squirrelling away pennies, hunting down the side of the sofa, as dh gave me no money at all back then.....

Original poster
shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:59

Badger1970 · 02/03/2023 18:47

When I fell pregnant with our 1st DC, DH spent weeks renovating my cot from when I was a baby - my Mum had kept it for two decades in her garage. When our DC had outgrown it, we popped it into the loft but then had a water leak and it had to go in the garage. A friend saw it in there, and asked if she could borrow it to use at her DM's house which was in our village. I reluctantly said yes, but that I wanted it back again. When our eldest fell pregnant, I asked for it back - and was told that they didn't know what their DM had done with it. I was heartbroken... it was a family heirloom. Never spoken to them since, I'm still furious about it.

That’s so sad and I’m sorry that happened. Was she at least apologetic? Not that it makes up for it.

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 02/03/2023 19:01

shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:42

Responses like this are weird.

Show quote history

Not really. I remember a very similar post about a holiday where the OP was expected to pay for everything. It had a lot of comments on, so hardly surprising someone might ask if that was you.

Phos · 02/03/2023 19:03

When I was in Year 6, I lent a friend some game boy games. He claimed he'd given me them back when I asked for them. I really missed Kirby's Dream Land.

UnattendedPotato · 02/03/2023 19:05

shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:42

Responses like this are weird.

Show quote history

NoDairy might be asking probably because there was a spectacular CF thread that went on for days a couple years ago with a play by play as the "friend" brought no spending money & expected to be treated to everything all weekend. It was very memorable!

Lampzade · 02/03/2023 19:06

Next door neighbour ‘borrowed’ our new jet wash
Three weeks later she hadn’t returned it.
Asked her for the jet wash, she told me that her brother had ‘borrowed’ it and that the jet wash was broken.
She didn’t offer to pay for the jet wash
Stopped speaking to her after this

whirlyhead · 02/03/2023 19:06

£10k I lent to a supposed “friend” of 10 years. Shortly after they did a runner, never to be heard from again.

RedCarsGoFaster · 02/03/2023 19:06

Also a uni ball, but the summer ball. Lent a friend a very fancy Swarovski necklace I'd bought in Majorca. Cost about £100 - megabucks even then! She lost it, probably on the bouncy castle 😭 She was apologetic but never offered to replace it. We're still friends though after 20+ years.

swimlyn · 02/03/2023 19:07

Almost everything we’ve EVER lent has been hugely disrespected, damaged or ‘lost’.

As for lost I think they mean sold it.

Some of these people have said ‘sorry, I didn’t think you wanted it back’. Well, how about asking?

We refuse EVERY request now, and people, usually neighbours, act as though we’re hugely unreasonable. I can’t tell if you’re a CF, so the answer’s NO…

Something that they see, they want. Well save your pennies and buy one like we did.

Changemynamechangemyname23 · 02/03/2023 19:09

When we were in secondary school I lent my friend my precious parker pen which was given to me by my brother. It was such a sentimental item and it wasn't one that was common. She lost it. I was so gutted.
It's been years and we are best friends and I've only just remembered! I must have buried that memory deep into my subconscious!!!

NoDairyNoProblem · 02/03/2023 19:12

Hardly weird. I find your response rude.

Like other posters have said there was a similar post not so long ago where the poster gave a commentary on her trip. I was going to say if it wasn’t you then your friend might have been on another trip but jog on!

Changemynamechangemyname23 · 02/03/2023 19:13

More recently lent my expensive breast pump to a friend. She returned it broken. Acted like it was no big deal. Didn't replace the part, which was small and only about a tenner and she could absolutely afford. I thought that was rude.

PolkaDotMankini · 02/03/2023 19:19

A necklace at a school disco. A bunch of us got ready at a friend's house and one girl asked to borrow one of the necklaces I'd brought with me to try with my outfit. I never got it back. It was a present from my dearly loved uncle who died a few years ago and I still feel sad when I think about it.

lovelypidgeon · 02/03/2023 19:24

When chickenpox was doing the rounds at DD's school (some time ago, she's an adult now!) I offered to lend one of the other mum's a selection of DVDs to entertain her DC whilst they were itchy etc. DD wanted to include a particular disc, even though it was her favourite, because she knew how much the other girl liked it. At the time I thought it was really sweet of her and I am certain I said very clearly that it was a loan not a gift- I even joked about having a break from it for a few weeks. I expected her to return them once her DC were back at school but she didn't. After a couple of weeks I asked if I could perhaps pop over to collect them and she just said she'd passed them on to someone else. I tried to track them down (almost certainly looking like a petty loon) but the person she gave them to said she'd passed them on too etc etc. DD's favourite was one of those low budget clearance sale titles and none of us could remember the exact name so we were never able to track down a copy.