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Original poster

A time you’ve regretted lending someone something

117 replies

shutupheathe · 02/03/2023 18:30

Money. I went on a city break with a friend who came with no money and so I ended up paying for all food/drinks etc. She looked annoyed at me buying a keyring as I didn’t offer to buy one for her too. We’re not friends anymore and she never returned the money.

Shoes. I picked friend up after a night out and she asked to borrow shoes. She kept them for two years (they were brand new) and retuned them in a state where it was obvious they’d been worn multiple times.

OP posts:
Lalala0 · 02/03/2023 20:24

My first borns tiny baby insert, lent it to one of my sisters old school friends so she would be allowed home with her prem baby in time for Christmas (if she ordered one it would have come after Christmas) never got it back even after many messages when i was pregant with my seccond and her saying she would drop it off and she never did, luckily my seccond baby was big enough that he didn't need the tiny baby insert but it the only 'tiny baby' thing I've parted with, I've still got all his tiny baby clothes, even the plain white ones

TheIsleOfTheLost · 02/03/2023 20:29

I am outing myself as the baddie here. Aged 10 or 11 I borrowed a friend's Judy Blume book and loved it so much I didn't give it back. Even when she asked me if I still had it I pretended I had returned it. When clearing out my parents loft I found it and still have it now in my 40's, although haven't read it on a few decades. I guess I deserved not getting the money I lent my ex back as he would always be broke before pay day.

grosslyunfair · 02/03/2023 20:34

I've always regretted lending money unless it's been to immediate family and for a specific thing/ with a goal to pay back once an event happens. Lost a couple of friendships over it. One in particular was hard because it became obvious she saw me as a soft touch and made no attempt ever to pay a penny back.

Snapdragonsoup · 02/03/2023 20:35

I lent a guidebook to my(then) partner’s work colleagues for holiday. The guidebook was inreally good condition. It had been used by me for one holiday and Owas really pleased with it asa real find ( it wasa directory of B and Bs in France, all good value, booked direct with the owners some really nice B and Bs. Clearly our good experience had been relayed to colleagues at work and my guidebook was in demand! It came back looking really worn out the spine and cover damaged and with pages torn and notes written in pen in it. I was speechless and really annoyed!

Eightiesgirl · 02/03/2023 20:35

For my fortieth birthday a good few years ago I received some birthday money and decided to treat myself to the full set of the twilight books. I was not very well off and they had just come out, so it was a real treat. A friend asked to borrow them and I reluctantly agreed, explaining it would just be a loan as they were a birthday present. A few months after I asked if she'd finished with them and she casually informed that she couldn't get into them, so had donated them to a charity shop ages ago.

Snapdragonsoup · 02/03/2023 20:36

Oh and it was only one family that borrowed it not the whole office!

OnMyWayToSenility · 02/03/2023 20:37

Never loan things you want back! I've learnt this the hard way
Money
Baby clothes
Time

CantFindTheBeat · 02/03/2023 20:40

Eightiesgirl · 02/03/2023 20:35

For my fortieth birthday a good few years ago I received some birthday money and decided to treat myself to the full set of the twilight books. I was not very well off and they had just come out, so it was a real treat. A friend asked to borrow them and I reluctantly agreed, explaining it would just be a loan as they were a birthday present. A few months after I asked if she'd finished with them and she casually informed that she couldn't get into them, so had donated them to a charity shop ages ago.

😲😲😲😲

OMG - what did you say?

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 02/03/2023 20:43

I happily gave away loads of baby and kids stuff. Pre ebay days no one thought about selling stuff so very common to pass things around.
I had a lovely pushchair and carry cot that I leant a friend. Could not have been clearer it was a lend. Despite asking, I never saw it again. I suspect she passed it on to someone else but when I had dd3, I had to replace it myself.
I also loaned a cot to my sister. It was nothing special but had been passed through dhs family . Not only did I lend it to her, I bought a brand new mattress made to size for it. When I asked for it back for dd3, there was lots of humming and hawing. It eventually appeared, painted bright yellow, badly. She had lost all the fittings for it. In the end we bought a new one. Not ideal for a third and last child. And of course, to dhs family we were the ones that didn't look after the family cot.

NoInvitesEver · 02/03/2023 20:49

We "sold" a very decent jogger style pram to a friend of DH's sister. We never got given any money, despite a price being agreed and sending a few messages via the sister with bank details.
Having given up on ever getting any money, to our surprise the buggy then got returned via the sister after 2 years as if it was a loan - it was trashed. Flat tyres, suspension destroyed, covers ripped, important bits missing and utterly revoltingly filthy. Had to take it to the dump.

Eightiesgirl · 02/03/2023 20:50

@CantFindTheBeat I was absolutely fuming and very upset. However, for various reasons I couldn't afford to fall out with her but I made sure I never leant anything to her ever again.

Jacopo · 02/03/2023 20:54

These stories are so distressing. I can’t under why some of you didn’t go to these people’s houses and stand on the doorstep demanding to be recompensed and refusing to leave until you were. Outrageous behaviour from some of these “borrowers” (aka “thieves”).

TribeD · 02/03/2023 20:56

So many times...

You'd think I'd have learnt after the first twenty times I had stuff back battered and damaged, but I was too cowed down to say no, so I kept saying yes.

Straw that broke the camels back was that DH kept lending tools to the same friends, they'd never be returned, then they'd borrow something else and so on. They asked to borrow some camping equipment which we eventually got back, but it was so bent out of shape and torn that it ended up being binned.

I've never lent anything out since unless I'm prepared not to see it again.

VariantHela · 02/03/2023 21:01

I lent a spare phone to a mate on the promise I'd get it back the next day (hers had lost charge on a night out, it was circa '07 and I had a different phone) Never got it back, she ghosted me afterwards. lost the photos on it which is what annoyed me the most. Not bothered about the friendship if that's how she chose to be.

JewelLane · 02/03/2023 21:05

Not me, but I bet my primary school friend....

I've just unpacked a box of books, to find ‘The Didakio’ - a book I borrowed from my friend just over 40 years ago...☺️

JewelLane · 02/03/2023 21:05

Even has her name in!

AlwaysGinPlease · 02/03/2023 21:06

There was a thread a while back about borrowing and lending. I amongst other posters said I never lend (or borrow)anything. Lots of people said that's tight, mean , what a way to live blah blah.

These posts are a shining example of why I don't lend anything. I'm fuming on behalf of some of you, the family cot, the new sewing machine. Taking a pram without paying when knowing full well it was the deal. Awful people.

fruitypancake · 02/03/2023 21:14

I have learnt the hard way over the years.. once lent my bike to a neighbour and it came back completely fucked . Cost loads to fix .
Now go by the old saying 'never a lender or borrower be'

bluebeardswife7 · 02/03/2023 21:39

I lent my daughter's old cot to my MIL when she had a friend visit. It ended up in my BIL's pub/inn. Ok , it was four years before I asked for it back, and I wouldn't have minded if it had gone to good home, but it had got tossed on a bonfire one guy Fawkes night. It still feels personal 😡😡

coodawoodashooda · 02/03/2023 21:43

I loaned a scarf to a friend. It was brand new. It was returned with a stain which had apparently been on there when she had been given it. The scarf wasn't the big deal. It was the fact that she told me a lie. I couldn't get past that. I mean I'm nice when I see her but can't be bothered to make the effort anymore.

Ladydinosaur · 02/03/2023 21:43

I loaned my friend a 6 month old buggy-I was still using it for my dd but I loaned it to her as she was going on holiday and needed a lighter one for her dd

i really looked after it-it was immaculate

i borrowed a friends one that she used for her dog-(a child’s buggy-it was only used to take the dog to the vet)

I got it back with ‘soz,ds knackered the folding part’

i was left with a battered looking pushchair that refused to fold down or go round corners

£600 down the drain

best part was,her dad loves to throw money at her and would have cheerfully spent that money on a buggy just for the week

I was a skint single parent with no back-up at all-nobody to buy me another

Sugarfree23 · 02/03/2023 21:44

Badger1970 · 02/03/2023 18:47

When I fell pregnant with our 1st DC, DH spent weeks renovating my cot from when I was a baby - my Mum had kept it for two decades in her garage. When our DC had outgrown it, we popped it into the loft but then had a water leak and it had to go in the garage. A friend saw it in there, and asked if she could borrow it to use at her DM's house which was in our village. I reluctantly said yes, but that I wanted it back again. When our eldest fell pregnant, I asked for it back - and was told that they didn't know what their DM had done with it. I was heartbroken... it was a family heirloom. Never spoken to them since, I'm still furious about it.

Be honest with yourself, would your daughter want her baby going in a 50 year old cot?
The regulations for cots changed around 2009/2010 and I'd guess they'd have been changes before that too.

falsepromises · 02/03/2023 21:47

My DH & his siblings inherited a large house in a very nice rural area and rent it out. We also all use it for family breaks and have X amount of weeks each allowance per year to keep it fair. A close I thought friend asked if she could stay there for her 40th. I agreed. She offered to pay towards it and I told her it would be my gift to her for the week. She then held her 40th birthday party there and invited all of our mutual friends, but not me. I only found out about it when I was congratulated on how beautiful the house is by a friend 2 weeks later and shown photographs of the event. She hadn't even told them I had given it free, she told them she was renting it from me. I have still never known how to broach it with her as she has never discussed it. We drifted apart afterwards. She did ask the following year if she could stay again and I said I was out of my free weeks but she was welcome to go through the official holiday website. She didn't.

BabyMomma2021 · 02/03/2023 21:53

OP your angry responses to an innocent question are the only thing distracting from this thread!
Honestly....

MyKitchenRules · 02/03/2023 21:53

Is you/child has a switch and online subscription all kirbys are there to play. Plus many other gameboy/nes/Nintendo originals 🙂