A time you’ve regretted lending someone something

[shutupheathe]

Money. I went on a city break with a friend who came with no money and so I ended up paying for all food/drinks etc. She looked annoyed at me buying a keyring as I didn’t offer to buy one for her too. We’re not friends anymore and she never returned the money.

Shoes. I picked friend up after a night out and she asked to borrow shoes. She kept them for two years (they were brand new) and retuned them in a state where it was obvious they’d been worn multiple times.

@Jacopo I’m sorry to say that that doesn’t work either - you’d expect it would, but all it does is call out what you already knew and you get an immediate answer…

I’ll try not to give the full boring details, but we lent my sister some of our ‘big’ baby things for her newborn - (eg baby rocker chair, baby swing, Walker, Bumbo chair with activity tray) with the very clear message that it was all to come back to us (we were planning to try for another baby imminently).

After her having the things for nearly a year and me being very pregnant by this point I sent her what ended up being quite a few messages - all of them totally ignored! She even blocked me, which started ringing alarm bells.

Eventually, following much stress and attempts at contact, we managed to arrange (via my mum fgs!) that we would pick them up from her house on a certain day (we live a couple of hours away and didn’t want to chance it by just turning up). We got there and all of our baby things had been left outside of her front door in bin bags in the rain. Everything was filthy (had been lent in immaculate, as new condition). All of it was there except the (expensive) baby swing. Husband hammered on her door for a while and I called and messaged her. She was clearly in her house but wouldn’t answer the door or her phone. We eventually left, convinced that she’d sold it.

A week later, it transpired that she’d put the baby swing outside the front door later that same day (in the rain). We were on our way home by then. The baby swing was STILL sat outside her front door at this point… A week later… In the rain.

I don’t talk to my sister anymore - all of this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

PS my sister once went on a European city break with a friend and had no money in her bank account. She had the friend fund her.

I've learned over the years not to loan out things that I value. One thing which still stays with me: I lent an absolutely beautiful evening dress to a friend - I had it dry cleaned first. Two weeks after the event she borrowed it for, and after much asking from me, I finally got it back dirty, stained and crumpled. No apology and no attempt to give it back in the stare she'd received it. 🌹

God - why is everyone friends with thieves? Cos that’s what these people are. There’s cheek and there’s plain theft!

When I was a teen I lent a novel to a friend and she never returned it.

Since that day I have never lent anything else ever.

Exactly! There was a recent thread about 2 friends on a city break and one had no money

@SeriousFaffing 💐

An expensive, essential baby item. I loaned it to SIL after DC1 had grown out of it but told her I needed it back because I planned DC2.

I asked for it back long after she'd finished with it & she couldn't find it. Her DH quite obviously wanted to go out & not spend the morning searching for it so insisted they'd given it back. I knew 100% this wasn't true but as family dynamics were that IL's would attack me if I challenged SIL, I let it go, even though I really couldn't afford another.

She found it a year later when they moved. Sent it over with IL's who passed the apology on, so that left me to sort it as I no longer needed it. Still makes me angry as she should have reimbursed me knowing she screwed up.

Oh gosh lots of book lending & not giving back, that's me! I borrow a book, read it & donate to charity however I do state this when I 'borrow' it.

The worst one was SIL, when I had DS1 came over and needed a tampon, I explained where they were and she helped herself, to the whole box! Her logic was I wouldn't be needing them for a while! I was speechless, her house is worth about £750k so not exactly on the breadline.

It was nearly 20 years ago and i wish I could go back & shake myself

Am I the only one who has the opposite problem? People lend me stuff and then don't take it back!

It's how I've ended up with:

A Luther box set
A pressure washer
A (far bigger than we need for everyday) casserole dish
A set of gold serving spoons

I don't feel like I can just get rid because they aren't mine, but they don't want them when I offer to bring them round.

Leant someone a book once. Got it back five years later, bent to fuck and sunbleached almost to white (the cover was orange).

I lent my friend my tent. It was aired, dried, immaculately clean and in perfect condition. It came back mould ridden and filthy dirty caked in mud, which I only discovered when I turned up to a camping holiday and had no where to sleep the first night. It was uninhabitable. I was fuming.

Priest to this, my sister took my first and favourite tent camping; didn’t ask me. It wasn’t cheap. Strong winds where she was camping destroyed it. She threw it out and never replaced it.

I will never lend any camping equipment ever again. Nor frankly any of my other personal items either. If someone wants something enough, they should buy their own.

Absolutely agree with this.

Reading this thread I can't believe how cheeky/entitled other people can be.
If I borrow something backward give it back ASAP.

If I broke it I would replace it.

Shakespeare had it right:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

A lawn mower to a neighbour who didn’t return it. When I asked for it back he said he could let me have it on Sunday as he uses it every Saturday to cut his fathers lawn !! When I did finally get it back it needed all hew blades and was in a right state. He has asked since to use it but it has been a no

I accidentally left a brand new walking jacket and scarf at a friend’s house one evening. I had only just bought them and had never actually worn them, just taken them in with me from the car in case it was cold
later. I asked her if I could collect them several times but it was never convenient for her.
Whenever we met up I would ask her to bring them but she somehow couldn’t seem to remember, every time.

A few months later she was relocating to another city and she agreed to leave my things in a bag on her porch so I could collect them as I was driving past one day (she lived about 30 mins from me). Surprise, surprise nothing was left out.

Soon after she let slip that she’d actually been wearing my new £200 jacket and needed to get it cleaned as there was makeup on the collar!! I’ve never seen it since and she now lives in a different state.

I realised just how self centred she was when I contacted her to tell her my father had passed away and she never responded. Hope she’s still enjoying my jacket!! 😬

I lent a friend a lovely wool wrap, trimmed with jet beads and fringing for a Christmas do. She asked whether she could also use it for a NYE bash but would return it to me when we met up in the new year. I said fine.

We met up and she had 'forgotten' it. We kept meeting up regularly and she always said she would return it. In the meantime she was bragging about all the expensive Christmas gifts she'd had etc and her DH's latest promotion.

After a couple of months I'd had enough and was anxious to bring the friendship to an end to be honest. After listening to the latest excuse I asked whether the shawl was damaged. She was outraged at this suggestion and asked how I could suggest such a thing! I pointed out that all I'd heard was excuses and that it was a loan, not a gift and that I wanted it back.

The next time we met up she returned it with bad grace. The CF clearly thought I'd let her keep it. The friendship ended soon after and I've made a point since of never lending anything.