If you are in the shoes off brigade

[Halfastoneextra]

If you invite someone to your house, say as an evening guest , here is the scenario:

The guest has made an effort to dress up for the evening, say a nice dress, updo, jewellery etc. She turns up at your house where you ask all guests to take their shoes off. This guest turns to a carrier bag she has on her, and withdraws a pair of very nice shoes that she wishes to wear with her dress. They are not stilettos, so won't damage any wooden floors. She shows you the soles and explains they are specially clean ie have not been worn outside and have been wiped down to make sure they are spotless. She says she wishes to wear them as they are part of her outfit and she does not wish to be discomforted by having to go barefoot.

Would you acquiesce. If not, why not?

My house= my rules, your house= yours. That's how I see it. I don't give a shiny shit if your bare feet match your outfit or not.

I would allow it but think it was most odd to want to wear shoes indoors. We would have been greeting said guests in socks / tights /barefoot depending on outfit and time of year.

Shoes off in our house for casual visitors ie coffee and catch up , if going into sitting room because I want my £2000 carpet to look good for many years to come . If sitting anywhere else downstairs I am not too bothered.
If it was for dinner I would not ask for shoes off ,doesn’t happen often here so not an issue!
.

But then I would consider someone arriving dressed up odd, my guests wear casual attire

I'd think they were nuts but would allow it as they've clearly gone to a lot of effort. This pops up on mumsnet from time to time and I will never understand why people make a big deal of it. We're shoes off upstairs (carpet) and what ever you want downstairs (hard floors)

Surely it's polite to ask when in someone else's house and not that hard to deal with

@CoorieInByTheFire

I can't get my head round the hypocrisy of caring about shows while having pets.

Do you wipe their arses too? What about all the hair and slobber?

Whats the difference between wiping feet on a mat and wiping cats/dogs paws?

@Caviarandgelatine

Of course I do.

It's all the faux horror and judgement over a non issue

@Botw1

It's not faux horror. A lot of people genuinely do not want outside dirt tracked through their houses. Why is that difficult to understand

I wipe my dog’s feet and he likes to get in the shower because he enjoys it so he’s very clean anyway. He doesn’t slobber or shed so those points are all moot. Takes seconds to wipe paws and you should do anyway in the winter because of the salt in grit.

@Caviarandgelatine

I do understand that.

I don't understand all the insults and over exaggerated reactions for those who don't think it's that big of a deal.

Imo the guests comfort comes first.

I find the my home my rules stuff to be really rude

I couldn't care less if people wear shoes in my house or not. We've mainly got hard flooring downstairs so its not exactly hard to give it a mop with some antibac floor cleaner every few days. We have a cat too... and I now realise I've been doing this cat thing wrong for 15 years as we don't clean her paws when she trots through her catflap either //shock//. My kids make more of a mess of my flooring anyway so its a losing battle at this point. I also grew up in a 'shoes on' house.

I must admit, each to their own, but those who make you take off shoes on hard floor (I'm not talking about stilletos that might dent the flooring... but normal daily shoes!) and then happily leave you sat there with barefeet, tights or socks on is weird and COLD! Please also don't offer me 'guest slippers' either...its just hideous!

@CoorieInByTheFire

You shower your dog every time you go out?!

Thats taking it too extremes.

Of course it slobbers. And sheds. It's a dog

Theyre filthy lol

I don’t think I’d like to wear slippers from a box in someone else’s house.

I don’t do guest slippers, I think that’s odd too, and I’d not want to wear someone else’s shoes or slippers.

It’s cultural for me, it’s how I was brought up. It’s also personal as we have a genetic disease in my family that I and my siblings all have/had. Cleanliness is really important. But it’s still normal in my culture to not wear shoes inside and to take indoor soft shoes with you if you visit. I also didn’t allow my cat outside at night, if it wasn’t a house cat, you’re supposed to keep them in dusk to dawn to protect wildlife.

No, he gets in the shower if he sees me in it, he likes water. I wipe his paws when he comes back in from a walk because it takes seconds to do and it’s good for their paw health as well as being clean. Not all dogs slobber, or shed, no matter what you think. Mine doesn’t, his breed doesn’t, and that’s why I chose him. Dogs are as filthy as you let them be, same with any other animal.

I'm a shoes off household and I do exactly what you have said (bring nice shoes in a bag that haven't ever been outdoors) so I wouldn't have a problem with it.
However, anyone that can't levitate from the car to the front door can't have their shoes on. ;)

I suppose, if the guest was going to be weird about it. I wouldn't care about their outfit though.

I live in a shoes off country and for dinner parties or house parties everyone is in their socks. If you wanted to be the only one wearing shoes because they were so special to you, I wouldn't fight you on it if the shoes were obviously not covered in grit, snow, rainwater, mud etc.

@CoorieInByTheFire

Ive heard it all now

Thinks shoes in the house is manky but showers with a dog

🤣

No, he gets in the shower if he sees me in it, he likes water.

Ugh. You let your dog shower with you?! Some people have such low standards. And so on ad infinitum ...

This is a perennial MN issue and one that will never result in agreement. But it's always good fun.

I think I'd find the whole performance of that wearily pretentious but ultimately sure, if that person can't cope without their shoes on because they feel they've curated something that wonderful and need it validated then why not.

I agree with this tbh. I would have said that's fine to the guest in question (we're a shoes off house) but would be inwardly rolling my eyes.

Yeah, very posh slippers are fine.

Practically, it’s the dirt on shoes I don’t like coming through the house that I then walk in, and the fact that there is dog poop on pavements so that can be walked in and that just gives me the ick.

but any guest walking in from a car drawn up outside, with shoes that are clearly not walking outside shoes, no issues at all. As long as shoes look like ones that aren’t worn regularly and therefore will have been stored away for at least a day or 2. That means most dirt would have already dropped off, and bacteria from poo died off. If their shoes were that bad they’d have cleaned them off a bit before storing - especially fancy high heals . That’s an easier call for women’s shoes than mens

i also have overshoes available- particularly for blokes or women in everyday shoes who I’m not asking to remove shoes. I dont offer unless their shoes look well used recently and they’ve walked to my house or outside , but I often find offering overshoes is easier than asking people to remove their shoes

but my very regular guests have slippers here. Along with dog bowels, dog beds and assorted stuff to make my regular visitors feel at home and comfortable

You people are ridiculous. I bet you like sitting in your own skin soup in hot tubs and baths too. And have carpet in your bathrooms.

We tend to be shoes off in the house ourselves, but I would never dream of demanding it of guests or visitors. Also tbh, I’d rather shoes/sandals on in the summer, than sweaty feet padding around. I have sometimes wondered about having a box of those blue plastic shoe/foot covers you get in swimming pools by the front door….too much?

@CoorieInByTheFire

You mean you don't bath with the dog?

Previous post was supposed to include this too, I didn’t realise you can’t quote two posts. Have you no noticed the water is constantly changing in a shower? Or do you just sit and wallow in your own filth in a bath?

My dogs showers every day and is probably cleaner than you and your children.