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Just caught my neighbours bonking

134 replies

PawsAndReflection · 27/02/2023 01:43

To preface, I wish this were a joke.

I live on the top two floors of a terraced house with another flat below. Been here for a few years and had new neighbours move in downstairs about 5 months ago, haven't really spoken to them apart from a couple of months ago when we had a leak.

I've been home this weekend visiting my Mum who's broken her leg, and ended up not getting home until about an hour ago (hence the late hour).

I unlocked the front door and lugged my bags in, only to be greeted with a pale, hairy backside pumping away(!) Seems the two of them were going at it on the stairs leading up to my place. They didn't notice for a few seconds until I dropped my keys, then scrabbled about rearranging their clothes and racing into their front door.

I'm all for getting my rocks off but would really rather they did it elsewhere there's a wet patch on my stairs now

OP posts:

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ILiveAt64ZooLane · 27/02/2023 07:04

I might ask DH if he fancies a bonk to see his reaction 😂

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VinoPleaseforOne · 27/02/2023 07:07

Bet they got carpet burns.

Not ‘bonked ‘ on a stairs for years…

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chevvyroo · 27/02/2023 07:07

Theoldwoman · 27/02/2023 02:45

And why would you think the need to post about it on a public forum?

It is anonymous, you know?

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Cobrastar · 27/02/2023 07:08

Theoldwoman · 27/02/2023 02:45

And why would you think the need to post about it on a public forum?

Neighbours is that you? Do you want to tell your side of the story how you ended up romping on the stairs?

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soleilblue · 27/02/2023 07:11

Ask them to pay for professional cleaning

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WhenDovesFly · 27/02/2023 07:13

I'd make up a prominent sign for the wall in the communal entrance, like they sometimes have at swimming pools, No Running, No Ball Games, No Petting. Maybe add No Bonking to the end.

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Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 27/02/2023 07:21

To be fair to them it was late and they wouldn't of been expecting you its not like it was the middle of the day. Its just one of them things I'm sure their more embarrassed then you 🤣

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IndiganDop · 27/02/2023 07:22

I have never used a staircase in such a way. From some of the comments, I infer I may have missed out? With 3 teens in the house now it's probably not the appropriate time to find out what I have missed all these years....

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MyOwnVolt · 27/02/2023 07:24

😂😂

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CalpolDependant · 27/02/2023 07:30

IndiganDop · 27/02/2023 07:22

I have never used a staircase in such a way. From some of the comments, I infer I may have missed out? With 3 teens in the house now it's probably not the appropriate time to find out what I have missed all these years....

It’s called the “backstairs boogaloo”. She must have read cosmo in her twenties too.

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JehovahsWildebeest · 27/02/2023 07:51

Sounds familiar from house shares in my twenties, how old are they?

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LuluLehman · 27/02/2023 07:51

WhenDovesFly · 27/02/2023 07:13

I'd make up a prominent sign for the wall in the communal entrance, like they sometimes have at swimming pools, No Running, No Ball Games, No Petting. Maybe add No Bonking to the end.

Lol.

No need to add "no bonking" as "No Ball Games" says it all.

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mikado1 · 27/02/2023 07:56

jellybar · 27/02/2023 06:41

Why would you think to step into the spotlight and publicly scold someone for posting publicly on a public forum... Etc etc 😂

Show quote history

The original comment here makes me laugh almost as much as bonking 😆

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DollyDayDreamee · 27/02/2023 08:07

Hmmm🤔

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Oohoohwee · 27/02/2023 08:09

heldinadream · 27/02/2023 06:16

But this is wonderful. If they ever make unsocial noise, leave their rubbish in the wrong bin, any transgressions at all, all you will have to do is raise a single eyebrow and tilt your head to the most minimal angle and look knowingly at them. You now have the power. 😂

😂😂😂

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DollyDayDreamee · 27/02/2023 08:10

If they live below you on the ground floor, why would they be on the stairs leading to your flat above?

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Oohoohwee · 27/02/2023 08:11

DollyDayDreamee · 27/02/2023 08:10

If they live below you on the ground floor, why would they be on the stairs leading to your flat above?

To shag 😆😂😂

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soleilblue · 27/02/2023 08:12

DollyDayDreamee · 27/02/2023 08:10

If they live below you on the ground floor, why would they be on the stairs leading to your flat above?

Because they don't have their own stairs?

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Oohoohwee · 27/02/2023 08:12

jellybar · 27/02/2023 06:41

Why would you think to step into the spotlight and publicly scold someone for posting publicly on a public forum... Etc etc 😂

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣

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DollyDayDreamee · 27/02/2023 08:14

So they either came out of their own front door and made for the stairs?

Or they were out, came in, and instead of going into their flat, carried on to the stairs to the OP's front door?

Don't believe it.

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MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/02/2023 08:19

If you can’t manage a conversation just drop a note in.

it was uncomfortable viewing tonight and I didn’t appreciate walking in to see that. Please refrain in future and keep your private business private. Also please clean the damp patch on the stairs.

your upstairs neighbour

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Xol · 27/02/2023 08:20

DollyDayDreamee · 27/02/2023 08:14

So they either came out of their own front door and made for the stairs?

Or they were out, came in, and instead of going into their flat, carried on to the stairs to the OP's front door?

Don't believe it.

Presumably there is some sort of thrill for them in shagging on the stairs, or shagging in a semi-public place. It's not unheard of, is it? Ever heard of dogging?

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Grungypop · 27/02/2023 08:32

I feel a bit sick, and I’m not a prude! Hope you rinsed your eyes

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Wrongsideofpennines · 27/02/2023 08:35

I would be asking for them to clean the stairs. That's grim. Particularly if the stairs are only used to access your flat.

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BlueSeaWave · 27/02/2023 08:37

Drop a note in just saying could they clean up the wet patch on step number 4. Nothing else

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