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Original poster

What ever became of the ‘popular’ kids at your school?

195 replies

Bigchoice · 24/02/2023 21:10

I was talking to DD and she said she wasn’t ‘popular’. She’s 14, got a good group of friends, does sport and generally seems happy. From what she means by ‘popular’ I assume she refers to those who are conventionally very good looking, vape/smoke, engage in precocious behaviour, are generally considered cool. I won’t pretend I didn’t understand what she means by it and to be honest I’m absolutely delighted DD isn’t popular- by that definition. To me as long as she has friends, does well in school and is happy that’s really all I care about. But it got me thinking, whatever became of the popular kids from your school days, were you a popular kid? How did their life turn out?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigchoice · 24/02/2023 21:10

For full reference, I was definitely not a popular kid. I was a more of a quiet, shy studious type

OP posts:
Scandimama · 24/02/2023 21:17

Hmmm from what I know, they fall into three categories: 1)didn’t do very well in life 2)has mediocre lives, seems happy and much same way as in school, into impressing others still and managing to do so w others w a similar mediocre lifestyle/mentality 3)a few, and only boys, became super successful in life. None of the very popular girls became very “successful” in terms of money, career etc., but I guess some of them did “marry well”. So gender stereotypes abound in this field too.

TheChristmasCaca · 24/02/2023 21:17

Some from my year ended up heroin addicts, pregnant before leaving school, pregnant just after leaving school with no further prospects , one in prison… My school wasn’t awfully rough but it wasn’t great. I’m sure that’s not the case for all of the popular kids though.

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14 year olds
Galaxyinmypocket · 24/02/2023 21:21

2 of the most popular people in my year group have now died and we are still young so it's quite shocking that they have passed.

Others that I can think of are never really seen/heard of now, they are just normal people hit with the same, or similar problems as everyone else is in life. I think they've either moved away or are focussing on career. I am in contact with only 1person from school now and even that is very infrequent.

"To me as long as she has friends, does well in school and is happy that’s really all I care about." - this is all that matters.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/02/2023 21:25

The popular kids from my school have done really well for themselves - lots running their own businesses or working in vaguely creative jobs. Some of the girls married well and haven't really pursued careers, but live in much nicer houses than those of us who did, and have lots of time to tend to their beautiful children!

I was academic and uncool - I thought intelligence would win out in the end but I now realise I underestimated the benefits of confidence, social skills and charisma! Luckily I have done alright (as have my equally uncool school friends) so I can live with it.

Chickenkeev · 24/02/2023 21:26

She's on tv, a politcal type. Very good at it. Wouldn't begrudge her tbh.

winterpastasalad · 24/02/2023 21:28

Became successful lawyers/doctors. I won't lie though and say that I wasn't inwardly gleeful that they look as crap now as the rest of us.

Girasoli · 24/02/2023 21:38

No idea!
I went to a massive secondary school so I'm not sure there was only one group of popular kids.

The friends/friends of friends I've kept in touch with have a variety of professional/more average jobs and are mostly married with small DC (Am mid 30s).

One girl is a travel writer which I think sounds great. She gets to take her family on lots of holidays to exotic places and review them.

cheatingcrackers · 24/02/2023 21:38

Tbh everyone I know of from my school has made a good life for themselves in different ways - from the popular to the bullied. But I did go to one of the London schools that is now the subject of the 4+/7+/11+ type threads. I guess our parents got what they paid for?!

pizzaHeart · 24/02/2023 21:40

No idea, I’ve moved away and we are not in touch.

MadeInChorley · 24/02/2023 21:42

Popular kids in my school were like @Scandimama described. A few went completely off the rails - heroin addicts, alcoholics and they were often the ones with a bit of money - but most did absolutely nothing interesting after leaving school and are still in my home town with kids and dull jobs, but hang about each other. They all seemed to get married young - to the other popular kids!

I guess the quiet academic, geeky kids (um…me and my friends) all went off to university and were later developers. We often took a while to blossom, but worked hard and had wide horizons and travelled.

mindutopia · 24/02/2023 21:45

I went to a posh private girls school. Nearly all of the popular girls them had babies very quickly after leaving school, a few got married very young too. I’m 40 now so it’s been 20+ years and oddly they are almost across the board very alt right conspiracy theorists. I’m not sure what was in the water!

SirChenjins · 24/02/2023 21:46

One charmer is now in jail for child sexual abuse. The others are still living in our home town and don’t seem to have made much of themselves. They go to all the school reunions and post a lot on our ex pupils’ site. The girl who bullied me is on there and I’m v tempted to tell her exactly what she was each time she posts some ‘hilarious’ memory of her behaviour at school, but I step away from the keyboard.

FrangipaniBlue · 24/02/2023 21:46

*most did absolutely nothing interesting after leaving school and are still in my home town with kids and dull jobs, but hang about each other. They all seemed to get married young - to the other popular kids!

I guess the quiet academic, geeky kids (um…me and my friends) all went off to university and were later developers. We often took a while to blossom, but worked hard and had wide horizons and travelled.*

This pretty much sums up my school too!

Add to that the "good looking" ones don't seem to have aged well either......

LucyLeave · 24/02/2023 21:49

They went on to have normal lives the same as the geeky kids.

LucyLeave · 24/02/2023 21:51

The geeky kid clique wasn't much better than the popular kid clique.

BeeBB · 24/02/2023 21:55

Be glad your daughter isn’t one of the popular ones or striving to be popular at all costs. You are right in what you say at Dd’s school the popular girls are bragging about the fact they might be pregnant around 13-14, vaping, drinking, trying drugs, lying, stealing, smearing themselves in fake tan and have fake almost everything else and that is on a school day.

Other popular wannabes are stealing money from their parents to buy little treats and presents for the popular kids, calling for the popular kids on a morning to help massage their egos etc. They will also berate, cause fights, hurt, arguments with other less popular kids to try and impress the popular kids etc.

Of the kids I remember being popular at my school girls and boys several have taken their own lives, one is serving a long term prison sentence, a few had teenage pregnancies, many got a council house, some have been married three times or more and they all ended looking very ordinary and downtrodden and working in dead end mundane jobs. None of them went on to be successful or hang onto the popularity status they held at school.

fleurdelee · 24/02/2023 21:55
Smile
Libre2 · 24/02/2023 21:55

I’m amazed how you all know. I am in touch with literally one person from my school and I have not a clue what anyone else is doing. We lived in quite a small, seaside town though so I guess a lot of people moved away.

Meandfour · 24/02/2023 21:58

Miss popular / most beautiful / bully got pregnant at 15 in y11 and never sat her GCSEs. She just didn’t turn in one day and nobody saw her again. My sister saw her a few years ago with 7 DC in tow and not looking as though life had been very kind.
2 of the most popular boys in my year; one is very famous & played football for England. The other was in prison last I heard.

DaisyCornflowerBlue · 24/02/2023 22:02

I have no idea. I left town as soon as I could.

illiterato · 24/02/2023 22:05

Huge variety and tbh fairly predictable based on their academics at school. Some of the popular kids at my school managed to combine being academic and sporty with being triple hard/ generally terrifying.

Boringcookingquestion · 24/02/2023 22:26

A mixture really, same as the less popular kids.

A couple own businesses (a couple of hairdressing salons, corporate events, and a plumbing business from the ones I’m in touch with). A couple of teachers, nurses and other health care, solicitors etc. One that I know of is in marketing… I don’t think popularity was much of an indicator of who would go to university or not in my school.

We’re in our 30’s now so many are getting married and having babies.

I went to a state school in an area with a mixture of people from different socio economic backgrounds. Of the popular people (and unpopular people), some from tougher backgrounds seem to have had a harder time of it. I know of one girl with serious addiction problems, one person who sadly took their own life, and a boy who is now in prison.

RainLover · 24/02/2023 22:28

Honestly 4 options for the most popular at my school (wasn’t the best school, as you might guess), listed in order of frequency:

  • Has a 16 year old child, 16 years after leaving high school. Works in a local pub/shop and/or body shop/wax melt “mumtrepreneur”
  • In or has been in, prison
  • Dead before 30
  • Moved away and/or went to uni

Really breaks my heart how many are in the third category (understand my county ranks highly in teen RTA deaths) and also suicides.

Popularity is so fleeting and irrelevant, good friends are for life, however long that may be.

Icouldsmellspringabitthismorning · 24/02/2023 22:32

Hmm, it’s a tricky one as I’d probably say, the top, popular lot were the rich lot and generally quite up their own arses. I got on with some but didn’t like the majority as they just didn’t come across as nice people, even though I’d been best friends with them during Primary school. I wouldn’t say any of them have done anything special, a couple have married wealthy, one lives abroad, fairly successfully career wise but majority still living near where we grew up. I was perhaps in the other sort of popular set, that was a lot naughtier 😬we just wanted a good time and had it, but we were smart too and not bitches, hung around with lots of boys, a couple of years older and did lots of drugs, drinking, smoking, clubbing etc (it was the mid nineties 🤷🏻‍♀️)
From our main set of us five girls, one lives abroad, two stayed nearby but with nice, fairly successful lives, one moved down south and I travelled the world and have lived abroad for years and not in my home town for over twenty years. I’m ok career wise, degree, I’m a teacher etc and have a child.
So I wouldn’t say it’s a simple as all the popular ones were thick and sleeping around and got pregnant young etc..and all the geeky/nerdy kids are the most successful now, it just wasn’t like that at our school. I do look at some people though and am surprised at how ordinary their lives are and how I imagined they’d be so much more…the girls who were v pretty etc