What ever became of the ‘popular’ kids at your school?

[Bigchoice]

I was talking to DD and she said she wasn’t ‘popular’. She’s 14, got a good group of friends, does sport and generally seems happy. From what she means by ‘popular’ I assume she refers to those who are conventionally very good looking, vape/smoke, engage in precocious behaviour, are generally considered cool. I won’t pretend I didn’t understand what she means by it and to be honest I’m absolutely delighted DD isn’t popular- by that definition. To me as long as she has friends, does well in school and is happy that’s really all I care about. But it got me thinking, whatever became of the popular kids from your school days, were you a popular kid? How did their life turn out?

I deliberately didn't/don't follow the comings and going's of my high school peers very closely because I hated school and deliberately didn't want to keep in touch

I did do a brief spell on Facebook most have absolutely normal lives

The big irony is that the worst behaved, nastiest, vile bully a scrote of a boy having escaped a conviction for violence at 18 (he got off but was guilty) stuck two fingers to everyone who told him he wouldn't amount to anything and is now a millionaire living in the most expensive road in the town

I found this out in a passing conversation and I do think it's very ironic

I think you’re not considering social class, education etc — I went to a very, very rough school in an area with a lot of poor estates and anti-social behaviour. The popular girls (all girls school) weren’t glossy-haired prefects who played county level tennis and did well in exams, they were truanting, day-drinking and hanging around with petty criminals by their mid-teens. Quite a few got pregnant at school, very few sat A-level equivalents, and you were cool if you had an ASBO or a boyfriend in jail. Many of the sparky, pretty cool girls are still living locally, and the ones I tend to see on the street when I visit my parents look, unsurprisingly, pretty ground down by life — they didn’t get a lot of opportunities. Likeability doesn’t (usually) trump poverty. One girl I genuinely liked, despite her being pretty violent was in jail for GBH last heard.

Popular doesn't always mean doing all those things, do they? People can be popular because of all the different reasons. At least at my school, popular kids had some kind of worthy qualities. And as for what they are doing now, no clue.

This is my experience too. Only a handful from my school went to Uni and they weren't the popular ones. The popular ones were truanting and sniffing glue smoking at the top of the the field.

When I looked on Friends Reunited many years ago (obviously) none of the popular kids had posted. I presumed it was because they were too cool and successful to give enough of a monkeys to post!

I do remember a naughty boy posted a long essay apologising for being such a disruptive, disrespectful child to everyone and all the teachers and now that he had kids and responsibilities himself felt very bad about his former self. It was quite sweet really as heartfelt.

No idea what anyone's up to now though.

*The popular kids from my school have done really well for themselves - lots running their own businesses or working in vaguely creative jobs. Some of the girls married well and haven't really pursued careers, but live in much nicer houses than those of us who did, and have lots of time to tend to their beautiful children!

I was academic and uncool - I thought intelligence would win out in the end but I now realise I underestimated the benefits of confidence, social skills and charisma! Luckily I have done alright (as have my equally uncool school friends) so I can live with it.*

This hasn't been my experience at all! Maybe it depends on the school type? I went to a terrible school in a deprived area. The popular girls are now mostly very fat, didn't go to uni (mostly didn't have A Levels either), mostly SAHMs, rented home or very cheap small home, and never moved out of the village. The popular boys have fared only slightly better. It's the nerdier ones on the whole who have done very well for themselves (and yes I'm smug about it!)

Same as mine!

I was deeply not popular at school! Of the group that were, two have gone on to have nice lives, good careers and seem happy in themselves.

The two who were both massive bitches have not had such good fortune - one seems trapped in an unhappy marriage from what I see on Facebook, the other had her husband cheat on her while she was pregnant with their third or fourth child, his cheating was discovered because the OW was also pregnant. While there is a small mean part of me that thinks karma is a bitch, as both bullied me throughout senior school, actually I wouldn’t trade places with either of them, no one deserves to be made so unhappy by their partner.

The popular girls at my school were all academic, so they’ve all done pretty well, career wise. The most popular (think beauty/brains/lovely person) is in a home with dementia. Really sad.

I agree with previous comments that it depends on the school. I went to a grammar school (grammar area) and it was not considered uncool to be clever.

I would say there were two main groups that could be viewed as the popular group in different ways, one might be described as the "cool" group, outgoing and sociable, more physically attractive on average (probably manly down to paying more attention of their appearance), a bit more rebellious. The other was was a larger group and very sociable with each other, but less outgoing (and drank less!) and more studious. This group were manly in the top sets and tended to monopolise the leadership roles, and the cool group was more mixed, i.e. some top set, some bottom, most in the middle. I was more in the cool group (that is who i hung out with at weekends) but as i was in top sets I was quite friendly with some in the other group at school.

One of the women who was in the other "popular" group now lives near me in London (not where we grew up) and we meet up for a drink from time to time. We were recently talking about what others are up to. Most of us (both groups) went to good universities including some Oxbridge. Overall, the range of jobs is very similar with some being very successful and some having more normal jobs. and the odd one who has had a hard time.

I think the main difference between the two groups is that more of my friends ended up back where we grew up (I think they enjoy being big fish in a smaller pond) whereas her group are more scattered.

No idea! Secondary school was 50 years ago for me. I think I was one of the popular girls and I've had a very average life, no complaints. But I'm only still friends with 2 people from that time.

Popular girls aka the queen bitches at my school either fell pregnant at 16 and left school with little qualifications. Became grans in their 30’s, no job, string of arsehole men.
Or they married high earning older men and living in luxury, all glamorous.
But are they actually happy ?

One of the popular girls at my school is a lawyer. Another is a nurse with the army and a lesbian. Not that it matters but the nurse was incredibly beautiful and all the boys loved her. I was envious of her.

The popular 'party girls' all had kids very young and stayed local, which I'd have expected.

They stayed successful and popular.

Or they married high earning older men and living in luxury, all glamorous. But are they actually happy ?

Why would they not be?

Two actors, a singer, a midwife I know about, these were the ones that everyone seemed to know and have time for as a group of friends. There was also someone who was more popular in a Heathers way (fell out with everyone, moved on backstabbed previous friends - rinse repeat). She was a minor radio and local tv presenter briefly SHE is certainly very pleased with her life and often tries go get in touch with me and others. There was also that one that was always friendly and engaging but in no way trendy and is now a pilot. The 'cool' group who were very vocal about their thrilling party lifestyle I've no idea about. But then the popular ones are the ones I looked up in the early days of Facebook. I guess we stay more interested in the nice ones.

Depends on the school demographic. My school was v middle class so the popular kids were all sporty high achievers who went on to do very well - doctors lawyers loaded expats and a couple are hanging about Westminster looking glam.

Popular girls at the school I went to from what I've seen on Facebook have been married several times and have several kids from different dads. They look awful now too.

One popular girl in my junior school seemed to think she was perfect. Brainy excelled at gymnastics rounders and netball and in the school orchestra. I wouldn't say she was pretty but she was popular. She took part in all after school activities etc so was teachers pet so to speak.

She went to a different secondary school. But I got told off a friend in the same school as her I was at guides with. She slept around. I hadn't heard anything since I left school. Until a few years ago she was in the local paper. She was a PCSO and was charged with fraud. She had stolen thousands of her mum and stepdad.

I often see one of the popular girls from my school on TV. Very clever and now reports from Westminster. Still the same twinkle in her eye though. She was popular because she was great company.

Is it H.C ?!

Is it H.C ?!

No it's not 😁