What ever became of the ‘popular’ kids at your school?

[Bigchoice]

I was talking to DD and she said she wasn’t ‘popular’. She’s 14, got a good group of friends, does sport and generally seems happy. From what she means by ‘popular’ I assume she refers to those who are conventionally very good looking, vape/smoke, engage in precocious behaviour, are generally considered cool. I won’t pretend I didn’t understand what she means by it and to be honest I’m absolutely delighted DD isn’t popular- by that definition. To me as long as she has friends, does well in school and is happy that’s really all I care about. But it got me thinking, whatever became of the popular kids from your school days, were you a popular kid? How did their life turn out?

'Popular' didn't equate to precocious, vaping/smoking, cool , or conventionally good looking as you put it OP . Sounds like a silly trope from a teen movie. I hate the way it puts people in a box.

Popular meant just that - you had a lot of friends and people wanted to hang around with you. The popular people have gone on to do all sorts, just as the quieter, less sociable people have.

One of the most popular girls works in TV now. Very high profile.

I am not really sure how was officially popular at my school, we were a funny bunch.

Who!

Read an interesting books saying that 'likeability' generally trumps teenage popularity for success in life. I know that the popular girl from my year was, at least a few years ago, a yoga teacher, didn't appear to be in a relationship, but I'm not going to assume she necessarily wants to be!

Popular guy I remember had a go at being a rock singer, released a single but didn't get much further, was a 'club promoter' for a while but someone told me he was mostly financially propped up by girlfriend who I think he since married and has two kids with a few years younger than mine.

My group of friends were speaking about this recently. It’s almost as if the tables completely turned. So many people who were in the ‘uncool’ category now have really successful business, married, kids, happy etc. The girl who was most popular in our year group ended up gaining a lot of weight, always had a boyfriend at school but is now the only single one (there’s nothing wrong with being single at all but her life is a bit of a mess), she’s hanging around with girls younger and has nothing in common with her friends anymore. It’s as if she’s no longer the star of the show and can’t quite get her head round it, while everyone else moves on in life. At school people worshipped the ground she walked on!

most did absolutely nothing interesting after leaving school and are still in my home town with kids and dull jobs, but hang about each other. They all seemed to get married young - to the other popular kids!

I guess the quiet academic, geeky kids (um…me and my friends) all went off to university and were later developers. We often took a while to blossom, but worked hard and had wide horizons and travelled.

This pretty much sums up my school too!

Add to that the "good looking" ones don't seem to have aged well either......

@FrangipaniBlue i guess you went to the same school as me! The good looking ones peaked at age 14, and went downhill from there!

They went on to university and a variety of interesting careers, one is a successful full time artist, one a fashion designer, one works in TV etc. Mostly in creative jobs now that I think of it but yeah all doing pretty well for themselves.

They went to Oxbridge, have a top career in my dream field (which I never made it into), still have the same lovely friend group from school/uni (a lot of people from my school went to that uni), have loads of other friends, and a beautiful happy family!

Things researchers say make for a meaningful life like growth mindset (I distinctly remember their parents repeatedly talking to them about learning from failure – went over my head as a child whose parents didn't give a shit lol), good and secure parenting as a child, likeability, relationships, etc – they seem to always have had it all.

I do try to be content and love myself, and I know everyone has things they don't like about their life... But objectively speaking, I think in virtually every single aspect of life, they genuinely are happier and better off than me.

I know that 2 of the popular boys died very young.

One was run over and the other fell whilst mountain climbing. Both tragic.

I don't know much about the popular girls but from what I do know, had kids young, married young, now single parents. I'm sure some were successful though

However to balance it, a NOT popular girl, from a very middle class religious family went to a brilliant university and dropped out at 19 as she got pregnant. Now also a single parent

People love the idea of popular in school + a comeuppence later in life!

Most of the popular people in my school stayed popular afterwards. And most of the akward, shy ones got less akward and less shy. And became popular with their own friends!

I went to a school where it was cool to get low grades, date, get into fights, be popular on social media etc. I would say the majority of the popular people ended up as generic working class people. Some have changed their point of view and are trying to date more grounded people or go back into education as mature students. Most aren’t really active on social media anymore although we’re mid-20s.

Most of the girl groups stopped speaking - most girls only speak to 1 or 2 other girls from school.

most of the boys are still friends though. Some of them are wannabe gangsters with lifelong grudges against their “enemies” at school

Yes at my school (a prestigious one), most of the popular kids were pretty, rich, academic, athletic, charismatic and – the absolute worst on the list – genuinely kind, all rolled into one

At my school, they ended up pregnant/married quite young, settling with men from the same area, and never did much.

Nah, In your head that's what you wanted to happen.

There’s a lot of jealousy on this thread! Popular people tend to be popular because people like them. This means they tend to do well in life. On this thread popular kids all went on to be drug addicts, go to prison, die young or have 20 kids by 25.

stop trying to make yourselves feel better

Mlm pushers, they all have kids about to go to high school (we're 29)

One of my DDs was a popular kid. She's doing very well for herself just to disappoint you all.

It's what they wish had happened to the popular kids.

The popular kids in my school weren’t the smokers/precocious ones - they were the posh horsey girls.

They did what all posh horsey girls do, they married well, gave up their little hobby jobs, and now look after their horses/dogs/kids.

The head boy, who was the most arrogant shit I have ever known and also a racist, got slung out of medical school at the end of year 1. I was a bit smug about that, and he would have made a terrible doctor anyway.

A popular boy at school went on to play professional rugby league

one of the most popular boys in my year went on to run his own business and seems to be doing well for himself

the most popular girl in my year married the boy she started seeing in year 10, she now has quite a few kids

it’s the not so popular kids in my school that have done really amazing things.

she wasn’t in my year and wasn’t unpopular by any stretch but went on to become an Olympian

Slightly taken aback by how many posts talk about people “marrying well”. Surely that’s not how we’re still determining women’s status in 2023?

I went to a single sex grammar. As far as I’m aware, the popular ones have done well in professional or creative careers, or running successful businesses (sone are doing both). I’m not aware of any outliers, but we’re all in our mid 40s now and probably well past our scandalous years!

I went to a single sex too, and everyone has thriving careers, top of their field and in the news type, especially the popular kids.

First time I've thought about it, but I wonder if going to a mixed sex school really makes you more likely to see marriage as the be all end all and give up your career.

I did look a few of them up o a while back, I think prompted by a thread along these lines. Could only find one - she seems to still be moving in our home town, doing a fairly unremarkable marketing / PR type job for a local business. Couldn’t find the rest of them, I’d assume they’re off living their lives like the rest of us. Myself, I’m just glad I got out of that place as it’s dull as anything and a bit run down these days! I can’t say I’m at the top of my profession but I’ve had a pretty interesting time so far and have lived in a lot of different places. I was never popular so I was never been too worried about upping sticks and going somewhere new to start again as I’ve never had lots of close friends or much emotional attachment to places.

*living in our home town that should say - bloody autocorrect. Oh, for an edit function…!

Sadly exact same at my school!