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What ever became of the ‘popular’ kids at your school?

195 replies

Bigchoice · 24/02/2023 21:10

I was talking to DD and she said she wasn’t ‘popular’. She’s 14, got a good group of friends, does sport and generally seems happy. From what she means by ‘popular’ I assume she refers to those who are conventionally very good looking, vape/smoke, engage in precocious behaviour, are generally considered cool. I won’t pretend I didn’t understand what she means by it and to be honest I’m absolutely delighted DD isn’t popular- by that definition. To me as long as she has friends, does well in school and is happy that’s really all I care about. But it got me thinking, whatever became of the popular kids from your school days, were you a popular kid? How did their life turn out?

OP posts:
IconicKitty · 25/02/2023 03:52

I really think it depends on the school. The popular kids at top private schools and competitive grammars are likely different to the popular kids at the local comp.

I went to a comprehensive in a shitty area. Being academic / clever was uncool, you were a nerd and would have been bullied. Being 'cool' and popular meant bunking lessons, smoking outside the school gates and getting up to all sorts while underage.

While the smart nerdy kids went to university, worked up in careers and moved away from the town, the popular kids have stayed. They have married each other, they work at the same company (there is one massive employer in the town), that's if they work at all. I assume they work there because it's like being back at school with all their chums. Quite a few girls ended up as teenage mothers.

When I think of the successful people, none of them were popular in school days.

Whenharrymetsmelly · 25/02/2023 03:53

The most popular girl, fat and actually quite ugly now. Menial job. She used to be quite gorgeous when she was younger, or so we thought!
The most popular boy, fat. Menial job.
Funnily enough all of the "cool" girls didn't last until the end of high school, most of them got pregnant and all of them had dropped out by the end.

Pallisers · 25/02/2023 04:02

The most popular girl in my school is still a good friend. She was the captain of the hockey team and had a moral code that was sterling. She is a judge now and while over the many years I have had some issues with her she is still a dear friend.

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WandaWonder · 25/02/2023 04:09

A mix of normal stuff really, I don't the conection really, kids can be popular and 'brainy', have no friends and be successful, be a 'nerd' and have a normal life, be a rebel and go on to be a high flying barrister

I don't think how you are at school really says much about how you are as adult unless the people comparing have their own issues like jealousy?

WandaWonder · 25/02/2023 04:13

I do presume though if the majority of kids go to school in a very 'poor' area it would not be a surprise if they lead different lives to kids that went to Eton as adults

And yes I am probably generalising myself by saying this

Chickenkeev · 25/02/2023 04:27

TV presenter/journalist. I didn't like her at school but she's excellent at what she does now.

FrangipaniBlue · 25/02/2023 09:03

*I really think it depends on the school. The popular kids at top private schools and competitive grammars are likely different to the popular kids at the local comp.

I went to a comprehensive in a shitty area. Being academic / clever was uncool, you were a nerd and would have been bullied. Being 'cool' and popular meant bunking lessons, smoking outside the school gates and getting up to all sorts while underage.*

Exactly this!

It's not jealousy or wishful thinking stating that the popular kids from your own school ended up with either mediocre or shit lives!

It will also vary massively according to posters ages and WHEN they went to school (not just where).

DS(15) goes to my old school. When I was there in the 90s it was very much like the local comp described in this post.

But it's different for DS. It's now cool to be academic/clever, to get good grades and be good at sport. The popular kids are the "all rounders" and are actually really nice kids.

I can see that if my DS was posting on here in 20 years time his answer on what happened to the "cool kids" would be very different to mine!

HelloBunny · 25/02/2023 09:09

Saw the good-looking popular girl from school in the supermarket the other day. She still has the tanned skin, but was otherwise plump, plain & thoroughly unremarkable. Like most of the other mums shopping.

Hoolihan · 25/02/2023 09:11

I was one of the cool kids and I still am 😎

AlrightJulia · 25/02/2023 09:14

I bumped into the most popular girl from school randomly a few years ago. I'd always thought she'd be a model or an actress or a tv presenter. Something cool. She'd actually had a few problems since leaving school and was back living with her parents. No real career options. Her parents were there and told me far more about their daughters personal struggles than I needed to hear. I left feeling sorry for her and the way her life had turned out. She was quite childlike in a way with her overbearing parents.

GoldilockMom · 25/02/2023 09:20

I don't think how you are at school really says much about how you are as adult unless the people comparing have their own issues like jealousy?

I disagree, bullies continue to bully! They don’t change.
Home life has more influence than school.
These cool kids smoking and being older than their years are a root cause of poor parenting. Parents who allow their kids to be feral won’t change when they become parents.

Those who have families who don’t have careers or job prospects are unlikely to gain professional qualifications because they aren’t valued at home.

traintraveller · 25/02/2023 09:25

I hate these threads. They are a klaxon for jealous folk to be bitchy about classmates who had more friends than them. I'm quite sure most of it is how you wished their lives turned out.

IHeartGeneHunt · 25/02/2023 09:28

Nurses, wannabe Mrs Hinches, MLM, teachers.

For the boys, Army, sales, marketing.

Fancysauce · 25/02/2023 09:32

So much snobbery. I was not one of the popular kids. I live a very ordinary life, kids, husband, no career, no degree, small house. But i don't define my happiness or my success by my job or how much money i earn. I consider myself successful if I'm able to give myself enough time to be creative in a way that's meaningful to me. From the outside some of the people that bullied me at school are probably sneering at my little life, but i don't want to travel the world and have a high flying career. I wasn't born to work and that's ok.

HiddenGiraffes · 25/02/2023 09:33

Some have gone on to be successful, some not so much. One England footballer.

PandasAreUseless · 25/02/2023 09:35

I wasn't a core 'popular kid', but I hung out with them and was always on the fringes of their friendship group, went to their parties and so on.
Tbh, all of the popular kids from my school have gone on to fabulous careers in journalism, TV and film production, publishing, finance and so on. They all live in London (not where we're from) and own £1m terraced houses in areas like Hackney at not quite 40.
The fact that they were from families with money helped them to be the popular kids in the first place - they could buy the right clothes and accessories, and went on the coolest holidays and so on. That family money - and the connections that come with it - have set them up for life.

IHeartGeneHunt · 25/02/2023 09:35

I'm not a snob, I'm a cleaner, they've done better than me! (Still don't particularly like them, but credit where it's due.)

TheaBrandt · 25/02/2023 09:38

They became nurses married doctors and had 4 kids apiece - all of them!

Spudlet · 25/02/2023 09:40

I suspect your feelings on the ‘popular’ kids will depend on what popularity meant at your school. At mine it was code for being a bully - think crappy, run down comprehensive in a run down post manufacturing town in the 90s and you’re there. Anyone the slightest bit outside of the accepted norm would be pulled to bits without mercy. It’s probably why I’ve moved often - I have no attachment to my home town beyond my family being there, no great memories of having the best years of my life or any of that, and I actually find going back gives me very mixed feelings. I’m pleased to see my family but I feel ambivalent at best about the place and I’ve no desire to get back in touch with anyone from school. So while I’m fairly indifferent to the ‘popular’ kids these days, I don’t hold them in any great affection either.

Maybe if you went to a nicer school, your feelings are a bit different 🤷‍♀️

daffodilandtulip · 25/02/2023 09:47

We had two popular groups - the academic cool ones and the smoking (because I'm too old for vaping), pretty, cool ones.

I find it interesting that despite all the pressure the academic group had to do well in exams, go to uni etc etc, there are different kind of achievers in each group. Both groups have had those with good degrees, own businesses, high flying careers, City jobs. Both groups have had young pregnancies, council houses, normal jobs. And deaths.

Coffeepot72 · 25/02/2023 09:51

I wasn’t cool at school, I suspect I was invisible, no one from my year ever remembers me! Probably no bad thing. But I remember the criteria for being popular was being good looking, smoking, and getting into trouble.

FineBerol · 25/02/2023 09:55

The popular girls in my school still hang out together 25 years later.
Wealthy. Ski holiday together etc
They still look stunning . Have attractive husbands and perfect kids

User1706 · 25/02/2023 10:08

The girl who was popular and also bullied me relentlessly for years at your daughters age is now a dental nurse has two girls and is married. It looks like she had the children quite young as I was only finishing uni the time she was having them. She appears very happy and whilst she is still tall, thin and commercially attractive (I would no longer say stunning as I think I over egged her beauty as a teen) I have no jealousy over her life as I'm very happy with my own.

Only thing I would note is she still seems to be very into her own and others looks. Her social media is covered in portrait style photos of herself posing but not really doing a lot whilst mine is more me out and about and things I'm interested in. I hope for her daughters and the children around them sakes she hasnt taught them looks are everything and to mock others who are different from you.

TheFTrain · 25/02/2023 10:08

I went to an independent high school on a full assisted place. There was a large group of girls and a large group of boys who were classified as the popular ones. Almost all of them knew each other from the age of 4 (they had been in reception class together) and a lot of their families knew each other, played at the local club golf club etc. There were a couple of people who were outliers though.

Some of them married each other. Quite a few of the boys started their own businesses (like their fathers before them) and became very wealthy, a couple retired young, almost all have kids in private schools etc. Everyone went on to get a degree but the girls have been less successful in terms of work and that's mainly because they've been the ones dropping out of careers to raise kids - not all, a few have been very successful.

One person died young. He was a functioning addict with a successful career. Another was put in prison for a while for a drugs related offence but now runs a successful business and has a beautiful family.

HappyJellyBaby · 25/02/2023 10:09

Teachers pet at primary school works on a car hire desk. Her sidekick has an amazing sounding job in publishing.

The not academic girl who was lovely to everyone is a beauty therapist in the Carribean, maybe she has it right!

Meanwhile I, the geeky academic, am unemployed.