What to do about my hard of hearing neighbour having her radio on all night?

[GetOffMyDoorJack]

I've never slept well and when I moved into my flat 5 years ago I spent a lot of time and money on making my bedroom a cosy warm place that I would want to spend time in. I do love my bedroom but it shares a wall with my next door neighbour's bedroom. She is an older lady who is hard of hearing and she has her radio on at night loudly enough that it keeps me awake to the extent that I now generally sleep on the sofa in the lounge. When DP stays over he has to wear ear plugs. I can't wear ear plugs myself as I have autism and find them uncomfortable. How do I address this? She's a formidable character and I find her a bit intimidating. It's nearly 1am and I am so tired and want to go to bed, DP is there and I want a cuddle.

Have you tried talking to her about it/ telling her that it bothers you as a starting point?

I can understand your perspectives, I knew a good friend that was similar, not sure the best perspective on helping with the matter.

No, she's a quite intimidating and not very approachable.

I was in a similar situation and ended up switching my living area and bedroom around so that my bedroom wasn't facing the internal wall to my neighbour. This may not be appropriate for you for a myriad of reasons though!

Well how are you going to get her to turn down her radio without approaching her about it?

She probably doesn't even know it's bothering you right now, yet you have changed your entire life around it.

You know the answer to your question. You have to get over your irrational fear and speak to her. Asking someone to turn down a radio which is disturbing your sleep at 1am is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

It's pretty much that, or move, which seems extreme.

Really you're asking what to do, the only thing you can do is approach her initially. She might be intimidating but it doesn't mean she's not a reasonable person.

Speak to her nicely & take it from there

Knock on the door now, wake her up and ask her to turn the radio down. If she doesn't or ignores you or turns it back up again later or tomorrow, record the noise and report to environmental health at the council for a noise nuisance complaint. You could call the police on 101 and if they're not busy they might come and tell her to turn it down.

I'm hard of hearing but ultra aware of my neighbours living in a Victorian terrace. Although you find her intimidating she may not realise quite how load she is being so please speak to her.

I think if you don't want to to talk to her about it then sound proofing your bedroom is your only way forward.

I have the same issue, but it's elderly lady next doors tv. She's deaf (at will it seems, she can hear exactly when I’m using a wheelie bin and pounces - but that's another thread). She has it on full volume every night, you can hear it word for word in the street outside the houses. My bedroom doesn't back on to hers, it's the next along (she's at the front, I’m at the back). But I can hear everything. I've tried speaking to her about it (she doesn't let you get a word in, just talks loudly at you). I've banged (she can't hear it). I've posted notes. She posted one back saying " Sorry I’m deaf". Earplugs for 6 years and sometimes I can still hear it

Write her a polite note explaining and ask her if she would wear headphones after a certain time if you bought them?

If she's too intimidating to approach in person, could you perhaps post a note through her door, in a friendly tone?

I realise it's very sycophantic, but if all else fails:

"Dear X,

This is a note of apology, in case you were disturbed last night.

I've been having trouble sleeping recently, and, as I need to have a sharp mind for work, I hoped some soothing music might help.

However, my stereo was set at its daytime volume, far too loud for the night hours. I quickly turned it down, but, what with our adjoining wall being so thin, I fear you may have been awoken at around 1am.

I assure you it won't happen again.
Yours, GetOffMyDoorJack

She may take the hint?

@TheFauxFighters why would you do that? In what way is that clearer and more likely to be effective than just telling her the radio is too loud? It just seems like such an immature and convoluted way of approaching it.

@TheFauxFighters That gives the completely opposite message. You’re telling her you’ve not heard a thing from her side

She's deaf (at will it seems, she can hear exactly when I’m using a wheelie bin and pounces - but that's another thread).

Allow me to correct your ignorant and ableist comment(you're lucky I didn't report you). I'm always happy to educate.

Our hearing isn't selective or at will to piss you off. It's extremely rude to think, say, or imply that about anyone who is hearing impaired or deaf.

This is a sound frequency chart. The banana shape covers human speech.

Your wheelie bin is at the frequency of 150-500 Hz but it is 90 decibels, depends on the surface it's being rolled on, so it is fucking loud and that doesn't include the vibrations of it.

Don’t write the reverse hint. If you do need to contact environmental health, it would be used against you as a (false) admittal of guilt that you are doing the same thing. Just write a note saying that her radio is being left on all night and it’s unacceptably loud. You would appreciate it if she turned it right down, moved it into another room or wore headphones so that you could sleep undisturbed.

Just tell her.
Knock on the door and tell her your radio is very loud and I can’t sleep. Please could you turn it down or off after 11 pm.
My df was falling asleep with his radio on and the people in the flat above were being disturbed.
Df had no idea. He’s adjusted the volume now.

Is this an English problem this inability to straight talk?! The Dutch and Germans I worked with got so frustrated that English colleagues were so unclear which is bourne out by Fauxfighters frankly insane suggested “solution” to write a note blaming oneself for a made up misdemeanour. Just tell her!

I’m sorry, but this is utterly batshit advice and will only lead to confusion.

There are two ways you can deal with this, speak to her or write her a letter.

This is deeply confusing. Don't do this.

If someone put this in my letter box I would have no bloody idea they wanted me to turn my radio down.

Intrigued as to how Fauxfighters navigates the world if that is their response to something like this. Must be exhausting

OP - short note under her door

'Hello neighbour,

Would you mind turning your radio down after 10:30pm please? Our shared walls are quite thin and I've been having trouble getting to sleep.

I hope you are well.

Thanks so much,

OP'

Agree with writing. You could suggest helping her set up a sleep function thingy on the phone where it automatically turns off after 90 minutes. (I suspect she's falling asleep with it on).

My mother was hard of hearing and the neighbours complained about the tv volume. She got a hearing loop for the tv - Sennheiser make a few, available from the rnid website. Wireless so you can wal around and still hear - would work just as well for a radio. Your neighbour needs one; her behaviour is unreasonable in a terrace (through no fault of her own) and easily moderated. The neighbour on the other side might join a joint approach to her?