What to do about my hard of hearing neighbour having her radio on all night?

[GetOffMyDoorJack]

I've never slept well and when I moved into my flat 5 years ago I spent a lot of time and money on making my bedroom a cosy warm place that I would want to spend time in. I do love my bedroom but it shares a wall with my next door neighbour's bedroom. She is an older lady who is hard of hearing and she has her radio on at night loudly enough that it keeps me awake to the extent that I now generally sleep on the sofa in the lounge. When DP stays over he has to wear ear plugs. I can't wear ear plugs myself as I have autism and find them uncomfortable. How do I address this? She's a formidable character and I find her a bit intimidating. It's nearly 1am and I am so tired and want to go to bed, DP is there and I want a cuddle.

I think you're going to have to ask her nicely - either in person or through a friendly note. My granny used to have her TV blaring when she was in her 90s and neighbours asked her to turn it down because it was disturbing her. She got some headphones. I don't think you can escalate anything until you've asked her in a reasonable way. As others have suggested, she probably has no idea that her radio is disturbing you. I agree with other posters: you just have to be clear and polite:' Dear xxx I hope you're well. Would it be possible for you to turn down your radio in the evenings after (10pm?). Unfortunately the walls of these flats are very thin and I can hear it through my bedroom wall and I'm really struggling to sleep. Thanks so much for your understnanding. With best wishes etc' Good luck!

Literally laughing my head off at the frankly bizarre suggestion from @TheFauxFighters which as others have said would just cause a lot of head scratching and bewilderment. Mumsnet is an education into how people live their lives, brilliant.

I spoke to my formidable neighbour about how loud her TV was. She demanded I come round and listen to how loud it was. I went over and was so shocked by how loud it was (louder than I thought possible!) she could obviously tell from my face how loud it was. Four weeks later she came round with her new hearing aids, thanked me and told me they’d changed her life. I think you need to woman up.

I have the same issue. Have to drown out my neighbours noise by sleeping with the fan on no matter the weather! Spent ages sleeping on the sofa to try and get away from the noise. I’d report and in the meantime you could try a white noise machine

I go round for tea once a month now too. She is actually a lonely lady who has…lost some of her social skills. But actually is lovely (and knows LOADS of gossip!)

Well, you're just going to have to put your big girl pants on and talk to her about it. There's no magic answer here

You're not a diplomat, are you? I could use your services with a few overbearing people I know 😳😎

I'm 65 and have had a hearing test - I have lost some sounds and know I have the tv on loud. I wouldn't mind if someone knocked and asked me to turn it down, I'd try the friendly approach first.

I am a wheelchair user and yes, sometimes I stay in the chair because I really don’t feel like struggling, despite the fact that I can walk, albeit with difficulty. So yes suppose I am a selective wheelchair user - as in I use it to suit how my condition affects me from day to day. Same principle, different reasons. And how is posting an anecdote from my personal experience complaining ? I’ve qualified what I said several times. My mum does not ignore me, she exaggerates her hearing loss to be difficult, depending on the circumstances. In our neck of the woods this kind of behaviour is known as selective deafness. There is no malice intended and my apologies if I have inadvertently offended anyone. Not my intention.

I know where the term comes from and that poster had clearly referred to a deaf person as ‘mutton’. They were obviously mistaken because as you point out, the term is ‘Mutt and Jeff’, not ‘mutton Jeff’. Not really bothered about where it came from, it’s just not a nice way to refer to someone who is deaf - the way in which it was used was derogatory.

What an utter cop out, I'm in Aberdeen and where it is usually a anti social tema issue, if music is being played late at night the cops will come and have a word. An old friend even got her stereo removed cause she kept putting it back up but that was a long time ago

Just pop a note saying you are probably in naware of it, but your radio being on so loud at night is keeping me awake.

I'm English and I've never understood this. It's not like you have to immediately start with being belligerent. And I agree that letter proposed is frankly insane.

A hearing loop or similar is the answer. I have one on loan from a hearing charity. She may seem unfriendly because she can't hear. Hearing loss is very isolating, I don't chat now, because I can't hear the answers. It's horrible, an invisible, isolating, lonely affliction. She won't know unless you contact her, by writing a friendly note.

Start by trying to talk to her.

I had a neighbour that would would take out his hearing aids and turn his TV to full volume.
To make matters worse he would turn off his hearing aids when I tried to approach him about it.

Turns out that this was a long running issue that had seen quite a few people move from the house that I had rented.

I was another that couldn't take it and in the end moved.

I hope that this works out better for you.

Why should the OP buy them!?!?

It seems to be a standard MN response.

Has anyone mentioned that you get a white noise machine?
Initially got one for the baby and now I can’t sleep without it playing in the background. It so good that I managed to sleep through a New Year’s party next door without even hearing a bit of their music.

Start with a polite note.

Dear xxx

I hope this finds you well. Unfortunately, due to the thin walls I have found your night time radio is heard quite loudly in my bedroom leaving me unable to sleep. Would you kindly be able to turn it off - or turn it right down after 11pm.

I have not wanted to trouble you on this, but have recently had to resort to sleeping downstairs due to the noise - which is obviously not a long term solution.

many thanks

regards

If that does not work. Speak to her. If that does not work - record the noise and report to the council.

Oh my same same. I think our autism makes it sound even louder and clearer aswell. Our bedroom is right next to the old lady next door and if she can't sleep she puts on the news all night and it drives me nuts. My hubby does the ear plug thing but I find them irritating so I go downstairs to sleep on sofa.

Funny that my post was jumped on. I’m sure the decibels of my wheelie bin once a week are far below that of her tv (night after fucking night).
You think she's unaware that her tv is on full volume after several complaints?
She also wont let me speak until she's done talking, if you do it's ignored, and then if there's nothing of interest to her she puts her hand up in front of my face and says "bye then!" But if you happen to mention anything that applies to her then suddenly she's all ears. Sorry if you find that offensive too.

Drop her a note saying that very loud radio is coming from her flat overnight, presumably while she’s asleep, and it is disturbing other residents and this is unneighbourly and in breach of the laws on noise, can it please stop. Perhaps she could try earphones? Say you regret that if it doesn’t stop you’ll have to report it to the council.

@Spongeboob

Your post?

Have you tried a white noise machine? It was a real game changer for me. I bought a LectrofanEVO on Amazon for £80.

Yes it is expensive but it has white noise, brown noise and pink noise. All good for distorting sounds through thin walls. At first I was skeptical but desperate. One night I actually turned it off instead of down and I could suddenly hear everything through the walls.

Same for you as well OP, give it a go if you can. Unfortunately some walls can be super thin and like our neighbours, they weren’t being intentionally loud, it was just the nature of the building and my light sleeping.

Answer:

“Don’t worry, dear.

The noise of my radio covered any noise your stereo made.

Sleep well.”