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Original poster

What to do about my hard of hearing neighbour having her radio on all night?

108 replies

GetOffMyDoorJack · 24/02/2023 01:06

I've never slept well and when I moved into my flat 5 years ago I spent a lot of time and money on making my bedroom a cosy warm place that I would want to spend time in. I do love my bedroom but it shares a wall with my next door neighbour's bedroom. She is an older lady who is hard of hearing and she has her radio on at night loudly enough that it keeps me awake to the extent that I now generally sleep on the sofa in the lounge. When DP stays over he has to wear ear plugs. I can't wear ear plugs myself as I have autism and find them uncomfortable. How do I address this? She's a formidable character and I find her a bit intimidating. It's nearly 1am and I am so tired and want to go to bed, DP is there and I want a cuddle.

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 24/02/2023 07:34

TheaBrandt ·
Is this an English problem this inability to straight talk?!

Yes! Feel free to discuss the weather with us though. That is a safe topic! Anything else..........

SuziLikeSuziQ · 24/02/2023 07:38

emptythelitterbox · 24/02/2023 02:53

She's deaf (at will it seems, she can hear exactly when I’m using a wheelie bin and pounces - but that's another thread).

Allow me to correct your ignorant and ableist comment(you're lucky I didn't report you). I'm always happy to educate.

Our hearing isn't selective or at will to piss you off. It's extremely rude to think, say, or imply that about anyone who is hearing impaired or deaf.

This is a sound frequency chart. The banana shape covers human speech.

Your wheelie bin is at the frequency of 150-500 Hz but it is 90 decibels, depends on the surface it's being rolled on, so it is fucking loud and that doesn't include the vibrations of it.

Oh for a like button!

StarsSand · 24/02/2023 08:15

emptythelitterbox · 24/02/2023 02:53

She's deaf (at will it seems, she can hear exactly when I’m using a wheelie bin and pounces - but that's another thread).

Allow me to correct your ignorant and ableist comment(you're lucky I didn't report you). I'm always happy to educate.

Our hearing isn't selective or at will to piss you off. It's extremely rude to think, say, or imply that about anyone who is hearing impaired or deaf.

This is a sound frequency chart. The banana shape covers human speech.

Your wheelie bin is at the frequency of 150-500 Hz but it is 90 decibels, depends on the surface it's being rolled on, so it is fucking loud and that doesn't include the vibrations of it.

Thank you for this.

I have a deaf relative and it makes me see red when ignorant people suggest they aren't actually deaf because they heard XYZ.

Hearing isn't binary, people.

sashh · 24/02/2023 08:35

Vermin · 24/02/2023 07:29

My mother was hard of hearing and the neighbours complained about the tv volume. She got a hearing loop for the tv - Sennheiser make a few, available from the rnid website. Wireless so you can wal around and still hear - would work just as well for a radio. Your neighbour needs one; her behaviour is unreasonable in a terrace (through no fault of her own) and easily moderated. The neighbour on the other side might join a joint approach to her?

But that only works with a hearing aid, which people take out at night.

OP

I bought my mum a pillow with a speaker built in as she used to do this.

You need to tell your neighbour her radio is disturbing you.

It might be as simple as moving the radio to the other side of the bed.

Vermin · 24/02/2023 08:42

& Kokoon do headsets specifically for wearing in bed if that’s what neighbour is doing

RampantIvy · 24/02/2023 08:50

A question for the hard of hearing on this thread. Does wearing a headset help? I have hearing issues and always wear a headset for Teams and Zoom meetings, and find that the sound quality is much improved by doing this.

I think @StarsSand's note is the way forward, along with the suggestion of using a headset.

IndysMamaRex · 24/02/2023 12:48

SkyHippoOnACloud · 24/02/2023 01:38

Knock on the door now, wake her up and ask her to turn the radio down. If she doesn't or ignores you or turns it back up again later or tomorrow, record the noise and report to environmental health at the council for a noise nuisance complaint. You could call the police on 101 and if they're not busy they might come and tell her to turn it down.

101 won’t do anything sadly it’s not a police issue. They’ll tell her to go to the council. When I lived in my flat we had an air b&b set up across from us & we had a lot of issues with them blasting & I mean absolutely blasting music. Rang police & was told nothing to do with them 😢 so many sleepless nights until we moved

piedbeauty · 24/02/2023 12:56

Blimey, op, what do you expect to change if you don't talk to her?! How can she know there is a problem? You're going to have to put your big-girl pants on and tell her.

butteriesplease · 24/02/2023 14:20

so, it's not up to OP to buy her neighbour headphones/hearing loops etc etc.

What I'd suggest is that, as the neighbour is a bit intimidating, you put a note through the door.

The neighbour may not realise how loud she has the radio turned up - hearing loss can be gradual and have occurred over a period of time. Also, they may not have realised how far the sound is travelling and that it is affecting you.

My dad's hearing got pretty bad, and for the TV, and radio, he just wanted it turned up LOUD.

Dear Neighbour,
When you have your radio on, I can hear it in my bedroom. This is very loud during the night when I am trying to sleep. Can you please have your radio turned off by 10pm.
Thank-you,
Getoffmydoorjack

gamerchick · 24/02/2023 14:35

Just tell her to use headphones from 10pm. If she doesn't, start making complaints.

HaggisBurger · 24/02/2023 14:39

SusiePevensie · 24/02/2023 07:22

Agree with writing. You could suggest helping her set up a sleep function thingy on the phone where it automatically turns off after 90 minutes. (I suspect she's falling asleep with it on).

Agreed. It’s like some bizarre British sitcom storyline from the 1970s. Probably with Penelope Keith.

A direct but polite note is all that is needed.

Vermin · 24/02/2023 15:19

@butteriesplease just to clarify I wasn’t suggesting op buys anything for her neighbour, but that if neighbour wishes to use loud radio all night, she can buy her own specialist hearing equipment!

gretell · 24/02/2023 15:25

Yes, just ask if she'd mind using headphones late at night. You need to speak to her though! She probably has no idea it's bothering you.

PinkSyCo · 24/02/2023 15:43

You’ve made all these assumptions about this woman when in actual fact I’ll bet you’ve never even spoken to her have you? She’s deaf, so won’t realise how loud her radio is and will probably feel awful on finding out how much it is impacting on your life. Write her a polite note and I’m sure she will change her radio listening habits accordingly. If not, bang loudly on her door every night until she turns it down.

SuziLikeSuziQ · 24/02/2023 16:56

RampantIvy · 24/02/2023 08:50

A question for the hard of hearing on this thread. Does wearing a headset help? I have hearing issues and always wear a headset for Teams and Zoom meetings, and find that the sound quality is much improved by doing this.

I think @StarsSand's note is the way forward, along with the suggestion of using a headset.

Headsets are problematic for me because many make my hearing aids feedback, so I have to take the aids out and I lose the benefit of them 🙄

I am thinking of getting a bone conduction headset. Sadly, my aids can't get connect directly to my phone so I need something else in the meantime.

RampantIvy · 24/02/2023 17:02

Thank you @SuziLikeSuziQ for answering my question. I genuinely didn't know if a headset would be problematic.

ScribblerIran · 24/02/2023 17:49

Sorry about the lack of sleep - it's horrible feeling you can't relax in your own bedroom. However, it is worth approaching the neighbour (is she intimidating or are you shy?) and explaining the problem. She could have tinnitus - some people use noise to mask the tinnitus. I'm sure she's not aware that it's impacting you. You might even make a friend if you approach this with an open mind?

riceuten · 24/02/2023 17:52

The police have not dealt with noise nuisance for decades, and probably quite rightly so. The only route is to take her on about it.

LaDamaDeElche · 24/02/2023 17:57

urbanbuddha · 24/02/2023 01:57

Write her a polite note explaining and ask her if she would wear headphones after a certain time if you bought them?

What? Why should OP buy headphones?!

LaDamaDeElche · 24/02/2023 17:58

TheFauxFighters · 24/02/2023 02:02

If she's too intimidating to approach in person, could you perhaps post a note through her door, in a friendly tone?

I realise it's very sycophantic, but if all else fails:

"Dear X,

This is a note of apology, in case you were disturbed last night.

I've been having trouble sleeping recently, and, as I need to have a sharp mind for work, I hoped some soothing music might help.

However, my stereo was set at its daytime volume, far too loud for the night hours. I quickly turned it down, but, what with our adjoining wall being so thin, I fear you may have been awoken at around 1am.

I assure you it won't happen again.
Yours, GetOffMyDoorJack

What? 😂

misstrot · 24/02/2023 17:59

We had a noise issue with neighbours years ago-I actually thought she had shut a dog in her house as there was a lot of whining, yelping and barking-turns out it was ‘bedroom noise’ which was kind of funny the first time, but not in the middle of the night for over an hour or 4pm on a Sunday when your Grandparents have popped round for tea! (We just assumed she didn’t realise how thin the walls were, but we could hear the neighbour on the other side of her banging on the wall!)
Environmental Health recommends you first speak to the neighbour or give them a letter (keep a copy) stating that the noise is stopping you sleeping and is as such anti -social. Hopefully this will be enough but if not then you keep a log of noise dates/times etc and pass it on to EH who can speak with them and if need be prosecute.

FictionalCharacter · 24/02/2023 17:59

emptythelitterbox · 24/02/2023 02:53

She's deaf (at will it seems, she can hear exactly when I’m using a wheelie bin and pounces - but that's another thread).

Allow me to correct your ignorant and ableist comment(you're lucky I didn't report you). I'm always happy to educate.

Our hearing isn't selective or at will to piss you off. It's extremely rude to think, say, or imply that about anyone who is hearing impaired or deaf.

This is a sound frequency chart. The banana shape covers human speech.

Your wheelie bin is at the frequency of 150-500 Hz but it is 90 decibels, depends on the surface it's being rolled on, so it is fucking loud and that doesn't include the vibrations of it.

THANK YOU @emptythelitterbox . I have a severe hearing loss and find it extremely upsetting when people talk about “selective deafness” or suggest that someone “can hear when they want to” just because that person heard something.
I have hyperacusis - loud sounds are painful- as well as hearing impairment. People sometimes think I’m making it up because if I’m deaf, how come I don’t like loud noises, because they must sound quiet to me 🤷‍♀️

Thinking2022 · 24/02/2023 18:08

I experienced this and at 1 am. night after night. Finally, I plucked up the courage to knocked on my neighbour's door and I explained I couldn't sleep because his tv was loud enough for me to hear it. I asked if he could turn it to face into his garden away from wall. He was pretty stunned to realise how thin the walls are in Victorian terraces but he moved his tv to face his garden and I didn't have any further issues. I did also have a very intimidating older neighbour in the flat above so I do understand this may be difficult for you but do hope you can approach her first before turning to the landlord/ leaseholder about a breach of the covenant to keep peace etc

shellyleppard · 24/02/2023 18:12

Do you live in social housing??? Might be worth them for advice. If not how about ear defenders for yourself??? My neighbor is also slightly deaf and my children and I play guess the TV program 😏 its not an ideal situation but she needs to be a bit more considerate. Can you stay at your partner's place!? Luck 🍀❤️🙏