What to do about my hard of hearing neighbour having her radio on all night?

[GetOffMyDoorJack]

I've never slept well and when I moved into my flat 5 years ago I spent a lot of time and money on making my bedroom a cosy warm place that I would want to spend time in. I do love my bedroom but it shares a wall with my next door neighbour's bedroom. She is an older lady who is hard of hearing and she has her radio on at night loudly enough that it keeps me awake to the extent that I now generally sleep on the sofa in the lounge. When DP stays over he has to wear ear plugs. I can't wear ear plugs myself as I have autism and find them uncomfortable. How do I address this? She's a formidable character and I find her a bit intimidating. It's nearly 1am and I am so tired and want to go to bed, DP is there and I want a cuddle.

Wow - how very passive aggressive of you. You could have expressed yourself with a lot more decorum. You clearly have some build up anger and you found a really unpleasant way to express yourself! Your actions my dear are a choice not selective!

Hi. Haven't read the full thread so apologies if this has been mentioned. I had this but the other way around. My dear old godmother was falling asleep with her tv on - she was bed bound. She said her neighbours had mentioned it to her and it was upsetting her as she couldn't really help it. I suggested a timer switch. Her son got one and installed it and it switched off around 10pm. Can you suggest one to her or to her family? X

I would pop a polite letter through her door explaining that her music keeps you awake and would she please kindly turn it down or off after 11pm..
failing that you would need to keep a record and make a noise nuisance complaint to your local council

But this poster wasn’t comparing the wheelie bin with normal human speech, she was comparing it to a TV turned up to full volume.

That poster was attempting to give you a lesson in the difference between the sound frequency of a wheelie bin and that of normal human speech. Only problem is, as you so rightly say, a TV turned up to full volume is not normal speech !!

I was pretty much handed my arse for using the term ‘selective deafness’ and told my elderly mum was ignoring me !! Depends on how you define ‘ignoring’. If I’m saying something she doesn’t want to hear she will ask me to speak louder and face her so she can lip read. It ends up with me yelling at her at full volume and her still supposedly not understanding. This doesn’t happen if there’s something she wants. I’ve called to her from the kitchen (backs onto her living room) and asked if she wants a gin and tonic and I’ve only had to say it once. How can that be interpreted as ignoring me ?

I accept that the tern ‘selective deafness’ can be interpreted as derogatory but it’s quite commonly used and I don’t know how else to describe her behaviour. And I don’t buy that deaf people don’t exaggerate when it suits them - doesn’t in any way detract from the fact that it’s a horrible, isolating condition. I think most people who have a physical condition of some sort would hold their hands up and say they’ve used it to their advantage sometimes - I certainly have, and my mum definitely does it. We all have the ability to be rude and difficult when it suits us, myself included.

I think the obliviousness is because hearing loss creeps up on people so you can be genuinely unaware how loud your tv is. You could have it on at what you think is a very quiet volume, barely loud enough for you to hear, so it would not occur to you it can be heard next door- not realising your hearing has deteriorated so far that what you think is barely on at all is actually cinema level blasting.

I'm wondering if you're my Mum's neighbour as this sounds exactly like her and she's definitely formidable Are you in Lancashire?!

I fully sympathise I had the same when I moved into my house next door to elderly neighbours with the telly booming it sent me insane. Can I just say this is noise pollution and anti social behaviour you do not have to put up with it although this person is hard of hearing their are options for them and in particular if the noise is past 11pm that really is unfair to you. This is what we did with our neighbours - firstly I knocked around a couple of times and very nicely said it’s a bit loud can you turn it down we can’t settle the children , did this about 5 times. It would work for a short time. We then dropped nice notes through the door. I then spoke to the council who were very helpful , they sent them a letter. Their son saw the letter and luckily was great, he had a word with his parents and they would listen to him and turned it down, if they then ignored us we would ring him and he would ring them every time the telly went very loud . They often didn’t bother putting their hearing aids in and were quite stubborn. At the time I felt really torn as they were elderly but I honestly was on the point of a serious mental health breakdown as couldn’t sleep and was constantly on edge, we all should be able to relax in our own homes. Good luck xx