What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

My exH said this to me too - umm, no, I will never ever regret kicking you out!😂in fact, I daily thank my lucky stars!

My mother to me aged about 5 —- you’re very plain, don’t ever forget that.
My mother to me aged about 6— I was so happy when you were born I was told I’d got a girl. I thought I’d dress you in pretty dresses and you’d have lovely shiny hair - but I got you.
My father to me aged 6 ish when I’d run away from home — If you don’t want to live here that’s fine with us, we can put you in a children’s home any time we want.

We never got on.

For all the awful negative comments, are there any positive ones that have stayed with people?

ExH - he wasn't ex at the time obvs - being told by a colleague in front of me and others 'you realise you're married to the most intelligent woman in the company?' (I don't think I was given what the company was and I can't even recall who said it but was that a boost).

'You're a chick who knows her shit' - colleague at a company where I was temping.

'Breath of fresh air' - colleagues at exjob

'I love everything about your body from the top of your head to your little toes' - first man I slept with. I still have his love letters 50 years later.

Dad to my mum “why our our kids so weird!!!”
whilst I was in the midst of a mental breakdown

why are

Bloody hell.

It makes me sick to my stomach stuff like this. I'm so sorry 💐

My mother telling me I wouldn't amount to anything academically and I should "just get a job". She maintained it was reverse psychology but it cut hard when I'd just failed exams and been thrown off the course.

A "friend of a friend" being overheard telling someone she doesn't like me because I am "abrupt". Er, socially awkward, actually!

By a guy I was casually seeing "you might not be the best looking but you aren't bad and are a good laugh"

There’s two that I’ll never forget that my useless dad said to me.
The first was; after telling him heartbroken that my boyfriend who I had just moved in with had cheated on me…’toothfairy, sometimes a man just needs to spread his wings’ and the second is ‘Toothfairy, I’d rather kill you with my bare hands than ever speak to you again’

Yeah, it’s been 8 years and I still don’t speak to the prick!

There are 2 comments that I will never forget, both when I was splitting up with exH: one said by him when I was trying to find reasons why he’d had an affair and was leaving-he said ‘you’ve just become so needy’
i was gobsmacked. We had 3 children under 5, and yes I needed him to do his fair share of, you know, PARENTING, but I was in no way ‘needy’. 10 years on and this still makes me furious.
The second comment was while having a quick coffee with friends while in the middle of the whole break up, I was exhausted, emotional, struggling as a single parent while holding down a job & trying to sort a divorce and the whole financial mess that follows a break up & feeling a bit like I was drowning-trying to describe this to my friends & one patted my arm & said ‘but you’re such a Coper. You’ll be absolutely fine’
At the time I was gutted by this as I felt she was completely brushing me off and not listening, but as the years have gone by I’ve often thought about this comment & feel like she was actually telling me how strong I was/could be, & find some comfort in it.

"stop living off adrenaline" my nutritionist
"you are smart, but you talk too much" every teacher
"the lining of your uterus is lovely" sonographer

Not said to me, but something I actually said to my daughter....
" You don't have to live like this".
Which eventually gave her the strength to dump her abusive, narcissistic boyfriend. She told me some time later that those words kept going round in her head for days before she finished with him.

Nice ones -
'You always smell so nice and delicious.'

'I'd kill for your hair, it's so think and shiny' - I spent 30 years thinking I had shit, thin hair and this comment changed my entire perspective! I do have fine hair, but I have lots of it.

When I was apologising for my outfit that I'd literally dragged on 5 minutes before they arrived - 'What are you on about? I was just saying the other day how you always look so put together and you always have nice clothes'

As a plus size person, these mean SO much. I always worried that I was that 'fat, unkempt smelly person' and these truly changed the way I look at myself.

Not so nice -
'You're so bloody selfish sometimes. I wish I'd had that abortion your grandad wanted me to have.' - said to teenage me; up til this point I idolised my grandad, it's never been the same since.

' You know what I say, always get with a fat girl. They're always hungry for something so you can just shove a cock in their mouth' - a disgusting male relative

'I thought he was checking me out. He must have known I was out of his league, that's why he was talking to you. Or he's probably a chubby chaser'

My Mum, when I told her I was pregnant with my first child.
" There's your worry, for the rest of your life"
She was so right! My kids are 24 and 19 and you never stop worrying!

My mum, when I asked her why she never said anything positive about me as a child. "There's nothing positive to say".

'You were a mistake from Brian's discount store and you'll never be pretty but you might be elegant at about 30'.

Words from my charming mother who told me I was a nice women two weeks before she died.

My sister has taken up the battern now!

@Ireallydohope @Tophy124 @Twawmyarse2
Thank you 😔x I had a bit of a cry after I'd posted, I'd not thought about it for a while but it all just came flooding back.

He still is my SD unfortunately. I am NC with him and my mum.
It really did have an affect on the relationship between me and my sibling too, they were treated so differently to me.

Not said to me but in one of Elizabeth Jane Howard's books she wrote about a character "She made love like someone who had to catch the 8.10 in the morning and knew they'd be standing the whole way". Always makes me chuckle.

My mum told me that the only reason she managed to get full custody of me was because she’d agreed not to take half of my dads pension (which she was more than entitled to) Stings to think your parent would happily swap you for their pension. Wanker.

*effect (?)

Not sure if this counts, but I’d say mine is when my Dad wrote ‘Miss Piggy’ on my bedroom door in felt tip pen after I’d put a bit of weight on. I can still see it now. The image is etched in my mind’s eye.

Words I’ll never forget was when my horrible, vile ex quoted himself in one of his nasty emails, as saying to his then-girlfriend (whom he’d cheated on me with and left me for) “Oh don’t worry, I had to put up with a fat cripple on a mobility scooter”

My boss, 'Have some digity.'

“You [and DH] are genetically incompatible” from a close family member after dd was born with a rare genetic condition.

ah yes, I was also 'well built' and had rugby players legs. I wasn't, I was perfectly normal. By my Mother.

Again by my mother - its my fault you have always been 'big', I fed you, gave you the same size portions and you ate them.

I have yo-yo dieted my whole life (48) gained weight, lost weight, been told I was too thin (wasn't) too fat, too everything. Im just never enough.

The one and only time she has said she was proud of me was after I had a horrendous birth with my son and we were both very ill. But even that was backhanded - I am so proud of you, but I can't ever go through that again...

Mums eh?

My mum telling me angrily "All joy has left the world since HE came along!" (He being my firstborn son who was a few weeks old). This was because I turned down a glass of prosecco in the middle of the day.

Also my mum saying "Have you still got another baby in there?" when she came around a few hours after I gave birth to my second child. It was literally the first thing she said when she walked into the room to meet her new granddaughter for the first time.