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Original poster

Over heard in the swimming pool changing room today

302 replies

BankOfMaeve · 19/02/2023 20:39

This made me smile so much.

Two small kids chatting to one another in the next cubicle after their swim.

they were clearly very impressed by the skills of a slightly older child.

“I think she’s a proper swimmer, she has one of those things on her head to cover her hair like they do in the Olympics, and she’s wearing a yellow band, which means she gets to stay in longer than us. She must be training for the Olympics.”

All this at a regular splash and play session in the council pool!

OP posts:
CupOfAnxieTea · 20/02/2023 08:56

BankOfMaeve · 20/02/2023 08:31

Yeah, it has gone off on a tangent 😂

Is pube and genital analysis not the natural topic progression from Olympic swimming? 😂

PauliesWalnuts · 20/02/2023 08:58

My boss used to go swimming before work several times a week where the pool was laned off until 9am. As he and several men were getting changed in the communal changing room (and all in various states of undress) a man came in with his little boy to get changed for the pre-school session that was to follow. The little boy apparently surveyed the room and said “Daddy, why are all those men’s willies so big?” in a very piercing voice. Dad explained that as you grow, so does your willy. The little boy then said, “but why is that one so brown?” about one man (who was white). The whole place fell apart…

Original poster
BankOfMaeve · 20/02/2023 08:58

CupOfAnxieTea · 20/02/2023 08:56

Is pube and genital analysis not the natural topic progression from Olympic swimming? 😂

Show quote history

😀Clearly - life in the Olympic Village must be epic

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 20/02/2023 09:01

X-ray waiting room... DS 5 looks at the anatomical poster on the wall...
"My willy doesn't have a bone does it? It goes hard because of the blood rushing in to it doesn't it?"

When he was about 3 we had a mummy/ me/ willy/ no willy conversation in a toilet... I came out to find someone chuckling as she washed her hands... and it was someone I knew!

HippyChickMama · 20/02/2023 09:16

One that is not changing room or toilet based, ds (15) did his work experience at his old primary school. He is tall and lanky with floppy hair and glasses and as he entered the gate on his first day, one of the reception children in the playground tugged on his mum's hand and said in a stage whisper 'mummy, I think that might be Harry Potter!'. When the teacher in another KS1 class introduced ds to her class and said why he was there, one of the little ones looked up at ds and said to the teacher 'miss, he is huge and massive!'

CalpolDependant · 20/02/2023 09:18

JustDrama · 19/02/2023 20:53

My DD to me some years ago.

"Mummy. Your boobies are low"

I heard someone laugh in another cubicle.

My DD to me on the beach:

“why aren’t your boobs attached to your body?”

Droopy. She meant droopy.

Solow12 · 20/02/2023 09:21

Spongeboob · 20/02/2023 01:21

In the ladies toilets in a supermarket. Someone goes into the cubicle next to us and starts urinating audibly.
3 year old DD: "THERE'S A MANS IN HERE!"
*Tries desperately to look under the cubicle wall while I've got my pants round my ankles trying to get her back upright and behave"
DD: "Oh wow! Well done mans! That was a big wee!"

We didn’t leave that cubicle until I was sure "mans" was gone.

This. This is the one that got me 🤣🤣🤣

IndiaDreamer · 20/02/2023 09:25

JustDrama · 19/02/2023 20:53

My DD to me some years ago.

"Mummy. Your boobies are low"

I heard someone laugh in another cubicle.

Brilliant

IndiaDreamer · 20/02/2023 09:27

My small DS in a pet shop, which had a small pony in it. The pony got a bit "excited", DS at the very top of his voice, mummy, mummy, look at that horse's willy, it's even bigger than daddy's!

That got a few laughs.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 20/02/2023 09:30

Not embarrasing, just sweet, the night before the school strikes the other week I said to my 4 year old neice, what are you going to do with your day off tomorrow then?

She goes, errrrr, I'm going to have a watch... and lay day (lay on the sofa watching films)😆

So thats our new family term for a lazy day from now on.

Loobyloo68 · 20/02/2023 09:44

Dd aged 6 playing with her brother aged 3 when he started crying. Mummy come quick he's trapped his fingers, as I'm running up the stairs I shout where? She says under my foot🙄

MrsRinaDecker · 20/02/2023 09:45

When dd was about 6, I got pregnant with ds2. I answered her questions really honestly about how babies were made, trying really hard to use correct terms in an age appropriate way. My partner (not dd’s dad) comes home that night and she looks him up and down and says “I know what you did to my mum to get that baby in there!” She also explained to the rest of her year one class, which I don’t think made me too popular with the other parentsBlush

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 20/02/2023 09:48

I sometimes take DNephew (4.5) swimming with his DM and my DB.

Nothing amazingly embarrassing springs to mind though he did sometimes glance at my breasts which are very different in size to his DM’s and make comments about those, one was “AuntieGonna your breasts look just like maracas we shake at music time at school only bigger!”. Cue his DM “you shouldn’t say that x child’s name!”

perenniallymessy · 20/02/2023 09:49

When my DS2 was little we were at the gorilla house at the zoo. He pointed straight at the giant silverback and said 'that one is daddy', cue lots of sniggering from all around us.

He didn't actually mean that it looked like daddy though- he called the biggest item of any group the daddy, so a big slice of cake or a huge truck was also the daddy.

CornedBeef451 · 20/02/2023 09:57

I'd got the small DCs dressed first and so as I was finally getting dressed, bent over to put my knickers on and DS gently grabbed one of my rather pendulous boobs and draped it over his head.

He then announced very loudly, "your booby is very heavy mommy!" and I definitely heard laughing from other cubicles.

Soakitup37 · 20/02/2023 10:00

I’ve remembered a couple reading through these. -

my son and me talking about eating his carrots-

Me: come on darling eat your carrots they help you see in the dark!

him : but…. I don’t want to see in the dark!

he also had a conversation with my friend about how your tastebuds change as you get older so you tend to like different foods like vegetables -he then proudly proclaimed, well that’s ok then, I’m going train my tastes buds never to change!

BrendaLee · 20/02/2023 10:02

I was helping out with some reading at school and had a little girl (age 4) sitting next to me. She leans over and pokes my stomach.
"Why have you got a squishy tummy?"
I explained that I'd had a baby in there and I had a bigger tummy now.
She looked horrified and then said " was it triplets!?"

No. It wasn't.

Jaxinthebox · 20/02/2023 10:10

When DS (now 23) was about 3/4 he was playing while I was changing beds. I thought he was just in his room, but oh no, he had a FULL pack of tampons lined up on the toilet floor and was playing 'soldiers' with them, all unwrapped.

Never ever had I called them soldiers.

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 20/02/2023 10:10

Sat in a hospital waiting room with DD who was around three at the time, yelled at the top of her voice ‘Mummy, look at that big cock on the wall’. It was a CLOCK. She told my friend she got a frozen cock for her birthday my friend was in stitches. She’s ten now and can say clock.😂

raguragu · 20/02/2023 10:30

I recently had, Mummy, why do you have a brown vagina ?

FrenchandSaunders · 20/02/2023 10:31

Queueing for the showers on a campsite with DDs (3ish).
Finally got into one then DD shouts at the top of her voice "no mummy not the BUM flannel, daddy uses that on his BUM", kept repeating it, wouldn't be reassured that it was clean and had gone nowhere near daddy's bum. I came out the cubicle to lots of sniggers.

Pricklyheath · 20/02/2023 10:31

A neighbours siamese cat used to poo on top of our grass. I was really worried as toddler dd sucked her thumb so I used to run out going psst to scare the cat off.
My friend was visiting and ds aged 7 told her
'My mummy pisses at cats.'

He also told family that he caught crabs in Corfu!
He did, real crabs, with a net and put them in a bucket before returning them to the sea.

AliceTheeCamel · 20/02/2023 10:33

Jaxinthebox · 20/02/2023 10:10

When DS (now 23) was about 3/4 he was playing while I was changing beds. I thought he was just in his room, but oh no, he had a FULL pack of tampons lined up on the toilet floor and was playing 'soldiers' with them, all unwrapped.

Never ever had I called them soldiers.

The other day 2 year old DS got found a pack of tampons and had them all neatly sat upright in the seats of his happyland double decker bus when I discovered him 😳

raguragu · 20/02/2023 10:34

@Woodendonkey

Sheeeeesh!

Who wants to explain periods to a 3 year old! In a public toilet when all you want to do is pull up your pants and leave!

iamnottoofatiamjusttooshort · 20/02/2023 10:50

I came out of a public toilet to find my daughter and granddaughter already waiting for me

GD shouts at top of her voice

" clever girl nanny! You done a poo ! " started clapping and looking round at the other ladies washing and drying hands as if to say " clap nanny done a poo "

They did 🤭😂