Page 5 | Over heard in the swimming pool changing room today

BankOfMaeve · 2023-02-19T20:39:31+00:00

This made me smile so much. Two small kids chatting to one another in the next cubicle after their swim. they were clearly very impressed by the skills of a slightly older child. “I think she’s a proper swimmer, she has one of those things on her head to cover her hair like they do in the Olympics, and she’s wearing a yellow band, which means she gets to stay in longer than us. She must be training for the Olympics.” All this at a regular splash and play session in the council pool!

YesYou · 19/02/2023 23:39

All of these replies are completely different to the OP which was lovely.

HippyChickMama · 19/02/2023 23:44

In a public toilet cubicle with ds who was about 3 at the time:
Mummy, are you doing a poo?
No ds, I'm just having a wee
Why are you sitting down then?
Because ladies can't really wee standing up like you and daddy
Where does your wee come out? Is it coming out of your bum?
bends down to have a look
Mummy, you've got a hairy bum!

I could hear the woman in the next cubicle chuckling to herself

SoShallINever · 19/02/2023 23:46

Youngest DS (aged4) walked into the bathroom, saw me naked in the shower and screamed as if he has just seen a T Rex.
Then he ran away, still screaming.

WaddesdonWanderer · 19/02/2023 23:48

We’re all Abba and Friends fans in our family, and DD, unable to find her knickers in the changing room, said she was going to have to go Fernando!

niclw · 19/02/2023 23:50

This week my 4 year old DS and I were in a changing room so I could try on dresses. When I tried the first one on he told me that I looked beautiful (it was absolutely awful). Then as I try on the others he says to me as if he had never seen me before "Mummy you have a very big tummy. You need to do some exercise." I replied with thank you DS. To which he replied "But Mummy if do exercise you won't have a big tummy anymore".

violetglow7 · 19/02/2023 23:51

While I get dressed infront of my DD6 quite openly my DH doesn't feel comfortable being naked infront of her (and its a boundary we understand and respect). She knows men have a penis and how it differs etc but shes adamant she wants to see one (because she never has). Kids curiosity and that 😅 She hasn't let up on it for years.

Anyway, I picked her up from nursery when she was around 4 and had to endure a very awkward conversation with her nursery teacher who she told earlier that day "my Daddy won't let me see his willy, but its ok cause my big brother shows me his every day". She had huge concerns about the behaviour of her "big brother" until I explained her big brother is our springer spaniel who sleeps on his back all the time 🤣🤣

Manchestermummax2 · 19/02/2023 23:54

Years ago my eldest son (now 14) heard me complaining on the phone to a friend about my wobbly tummy etc
He shouts it's ok mummy, I know you're fat but at least you've got a pretty face 🤣
Best/worst compliment I've ever received!

MrsAvocet · 19/02/2023 23:59

Manchestermummax2 · 19/02/2023 23:54

Years ago my eldest son (now 14) heard me complaining on the phone to a friend about my wobbly tummy etc
He shouts it's ok mummy, I know you're fat but at least you've got a pretty face 🤣
Best/worst compliment I've ever received!

That reminds me of a comment from my DS a few years ago. We were out on a bike ride and I shouted him to slow down and wait for his fat, old Mum.
He replied "Aww, you're not old Mum".

Nagado · 20/02/2023 00:07

My niece asked my mum for a kiss when she was five years old. My mum explained that she couldn’t kiss her because she had a coldsore. My niece replied ‘oh, I saw that this morning but I thought that was a bogey’. She’d let my mum walk all around the shops with her, thinking she had a bogey on her lip, and had said nothing.

ImprobablePuffin · 20/02/2023 00:10

DD: Aunty L is so pretty
Me: Hmm yeah she is.
DD: So had grandma used up all the good bits by the time it got to you?
Me: 😵

GenerallyGreenerGrass · 20/02/2023 00:19

My son stood with his two little friends while waving an empty sanitary towel packet at me.
“Mummy can you buy some more stick on foot warmers for our wellies”. 😂

AnxieTeapot · 20/02/2023 00:21

From our family changing cubicle...

DD (3) 'oh there's your willy Daddy, I love willies!'

Swiftly move on kind of moment 😂.

imisscashmere · 20/02/2023 00:32

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:05

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”
Over and over while I tried to decide what to say

it’s not hard. Just tell them

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

I wanted to say something that would be meaningful. He’s only just 3, he wouldn’t understand me “just telling him” eg “It’s a tampon for my period”.

In the end I said “it’s a tampon, something mummies have sometimes”. He was satisfied with this explanation for now ☺️

Codlingmoths · 20/02/2023 01:09

AGoldenNarwhal · 19/02/2023 22:14

A few weeks ago, I overhead a mum and three kids (baby, toddler and older child) in a family cubicle near us. Baby screaming her head off. The mum calmly says to the other children, 'Just wait while I feed her'. Screaming stops.

Mum to oldest child. 'Don't pick your nose'. Child starts screaming, 'I'm bleeding, there's blood everyone'. Mum says calmly, 'Put your head back and pinch your nose.' Mum to younger child 'Don't step in it.' Sound of slipping. 'Are you ok? Wait there love while I wipe it off you.'

Mum to younger child, 'Don't jump on the bench'... 'Don't jump on your sister, her nose is bleeding'...'Don't look under the side, love, there's someone next door'.

Mum to younger child, 'Don't open the door, love, we're not wearing our clothes'... 'Oh you've opened the door sweetie, can you shut it again? I'm not sure everyone wants to see us with no clothes on'.

Older child 'I think the bleeding's stopped.' Mum to older child 'Can you wipe the floor with your towel?.' Child does this. Mum to child 'I think that's my scarf.'

Mum to toddler 'Come over here so we can get you dressed'. Then, 'no don't put your bottoms on the floor, there's a puddle there.' To older child, 'Can you get the spare bottoms out of the bag?'

A couple of minutes later, 'Great baby's all done, let's go find daddy and tell the people at the desk about the blood. Did you have fun today? Do you want to come again?'

I aspire to that level of zen as a parent.

i don’t think I bother aspiring to that level of zen. I mean, why bother? I’m never going to be an astronaut either, there’s no point fantasising about it!

Spongeboob · 20/02/2023 01:21

In the ladies toilets in a supermarket. Someone goes into the cubicle next to us and starts urinating audibly.
3 year old DD: "THERE'S A MANS IN HERE!"
*Tries desperately to look under the cubicle wall while I've got my pants round my ankles trying to get her back upright and behave"
DD: "Oh wow! Well done mans! That was a big wee!"

We didn’t leave that cubicle until I was sure "mans" was gone.

MTIH · 20/02/2023 01:39

As I was dressing, putting on a thong - my young DS “mummy, you've left your cheeks out”

2ManyPjs · 20/02/2023 01:45

I've just accidentally woken DH because I'm shaking trying to suppress the giggles at these, honestly nearly crying laughing - thanks to each and every one of you!

(With the exception of the lady whining for not using biologically correct terminology🙄)

CallMeBettyBoop · 20/02/2023 02:01

Loving reading these.

My own small DD, anxious when she saw a queue in the Ladies because "my bottom's full of water"...

Orla32 · 20/02/2023 03:28

My then 3 year old DD to her dad just about to get in the shower "wow daddy, you have a weird vagina!"

motherofkevinnotperry · 20/02/2023 03:39

In a very busy motorway services. DD aged 2/3 in full voice announced "mummy, you've had an accident, your pants are dirty, nevermind mummy just keep trying". I walked out the cubicle to sniffers and looks from all around. I had not had an accident, I was perfectly clean and dry it's just after DD was toilet trained 🙄.

My other DC pinched the bottom of a stranger in a queue at about 18 mths old "DADDY" 😳......never seen the man in my life 😳.

Happyhappyday · 20/02/2023 04:14

Friends DD asks how babies come out (DD was 4). Friend: they come out through your vagina. Dd stares between her own legs then says “but it’s too small!!!!” Truer words were never spoken.

HateEatingInTheDark · 20/02/2023 04:15

Child and mum is the opticians the other day

Boy) Why are we here
Mum) To test your eyes to see how well you can see
Boy ) I hope i cant see, i really want glasses

Loved the innocence of him

HateEatingInTheDark · 20/02/2023 04:16

To 10 year old niece

When your a mummy

Niece) Nooooooo, im not having children, they are waaaaay to expensive

BertHandsome · 20/02/2023 04:36

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:05

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”
Over and over while I tried to decide what to say

it’s not hard. Just tell them

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

I bet your bottom isn’t floopy, being clenched 24/7 must do wonders for the cheeks!

You can talk till the cows come home about body parts but if child thinks you have a ham belly or a saggy arse they’re going to fucking say it.

HateEatingInTheDark · 20/02/2023 04:43

5 year old nephew in the shop

Points to headphones and says ‘I would really like those’

Me) What would you do with headphones , you dont need them..

Him) Looks at me and says ‘I would put them on my ears and listen to things’