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Original poster

Over heard in the swimming pool changing room today

302 replies

BankOfMaeve · 19/02/2023 20:39

This made me smile so much.

Two small kids chatting to one another in the next cubicle after their swim.

they were clearly very impressed by the skills of a slightly older child.

“I think she’s a proper swimmer, she has one of those things on her head to cover her hair like they do in the Olympics, and she’s wearing a yellow band, which means she gets to stay in longer than us. She must be training for the Olympics.”

All this at a regular splash and play session in the council pool!

OP posts:
SouperNoodle · 19/02/2023 22:57

I was putting on my bra while my 4yo was sat on my bed.
4yo: Mummy what is that and what does it do?
Me: it's a bra. It stop my boobies from wobbling.
4yo: but mummy, it's not working because they're still really wobbly

😂

Benjispruce4 · 19/02/2023 22:58

😂😂😂

Motorina · 19/02/2023 23:00

My niece, very little, on the toilet:

Proudly, “I’m doing a poo.”

Slight pause…

”It has two pieces.”

Long thoughtful pause….

”Like cake!”

Tormundsbeard · 19/02/2023 23:04

My small nephew from inside the toilet in a ski chalet
“my poo’s gone to sleep..”

Hagiography · 19/02/2023 23:06

Not swimming pool. Morrisons.

DD - around 4 - in the trolley.

Supermarket assistant: 'Aw, did Mummy get you off the shelf?'

DD: 'No. I came out my Mum's VAGINA'.

Supermarket assistant:

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/02/2023 23:06

DS-where’s your Willy?
Me-I don’t have one, only boys have one and I’m not a boy
DS-that’s very sad for you
Me-why is that sad DS?
DS-because it’s very nice to play with 💀

Honeyroar · 19/02/2023 23:07

🤣 these are so funny!

rach2713 · 19/02/2023 23:07

My now 6 year old was about 2/3 could never say the word truck. My husband has a works van and always shouted daddys cock when she seen it so we quickly changed it to van. One day we was walking to the shops and a big truck went past and she shouted wow thats a big cock i was dying inside as there was people walking past 🙈

AlfieandAnnieRose · 19/02/2023 23:07

Diddlediddlehey · 19/02/2023 22:54

Haha my son said this to me once (also at swimming!) I'll never forget it - we came out of the swimming pool, special treat just me and him normally his dad takes him. He was almost 4 at the time, we quickly undressed, he was watching me and as I peeled off my swim suit he suddenly, loudly exclaimed "mummy oh no oh NO! your penis is missing!! Oh no! Mummy what will you do?" (He had seen me in state of undress many times!!)
I was trying to quieten his frantic distress as he scrabbled around on the floor looking for my apparently missing penis. I was wrestling him from under the cubicle door as he shouted out "I go find it!" and he bounced back up, head hitting my nose causing almighty pain .I cried out - he mistook my tears of pain and rubbed my back reassuring me that "it okay mummy, daddy buy you new one in tesco!" 😂

Show quote history

Omg I can’t stop laughing at this! 🤣

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 19/02/2023 23:08

Dd, 3. Looks angrily at her underarms. "where's my armpit?"

It's there darling you're looking at it.

"NO WHERE'S MY FUR"

She was very disappointed to hear she'll have to wait for it 😂

BrutusMcDogface · 19/02/2023 23:08

Hagiography · 19/02/2023 23:06

Not swimming pool. Morrisons.

DD - around 4 - in the trolley.

Supermarket assistant: 'Aw, did Mummy get you off the shelf?'

DD: 'No. I came out my Mum's VAGINA'.

Supermarket assistant:

😂😂😂

OdeToBarney · 19/02/2023 23:10

This thread is the best and weirdly I baby wait for times like this with DD (10 months) 🥰 Although I may regret saying this 😅

katseyes7 · 19/02/2023 23:10

My youngest stepson, aged about four, in the garden with his dad.
"Daddy! My willy's gone very straight!"
Dad, not missing a beat, hands him a water pistol. "Has it? Here. Go and squirt some wasps."
Then he gave me a very arch look. I was dying laughing.

OdeToBarney · 19/02/2023 23:10

*can't, not baby!

RampantIvy · 19/02/2023 23:11

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

Perhaps not everyone is as comfortable as you doing so?

I'm loving this thread.

When DD was little (about 3 I think) a friend came over for coffee with her little boy who she was potty training, so she brought a potty and her DS used it as and when required. DD had never seen a boy with no pants on before and later that day she mentioned to DH that my friend's DS didn't look like her. DH said that was because he was a boy, so DD said "have you got one?" DH said yes, so DD said "can I see it?"

DH didn't feel comfortable being naked around DD BTW.

Cardamoney · 19/02/2023 23:15

I have small blemish on my face that grows hair so I trim the hairs to keep them unnoticeable.
My MIL came in to the house looking for me. My delightful young DS told her “It’s okay Nan, she’s just cutting her fur.”
I just had to pretend neither of us had heard him………….

Sandunesandseashells · 19/02/2023 23:16

When my son started growing pubic hair he asked if it would stop and I said “not until you’re about 80, probably,” Big sigh followed as he said “So now that’s another thing the barber will need to trim”

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 19/02/2023 23:18

2tired2bewitty · 19/02/2023 22:02

Wearily from another service station toilet cubicle “And at what point did you realise you didn’t have your shoes on?” 😱😄

This one made me laugh!

Theunamedcat · 19/02/2023 23:21

My sons got changed in the same cubicle without me once eldest started winding up the youngest so he retaliated by saying "your adopted!" I shouted "BOYS!" several cubicles were tittering next door was trying to muffle themselves whispering sorry and giggling

Little swines

saltwater1985 · 19/02/2023 23:25

Years ago my friend and I got some inline skates from Index the catalogue shop and were skating about inside the shopping mall (surprisingly didn't get told off by anyone!)

Some younger kids were in awe of us I heard them say "Look! Real speed skaters!"

We were about 12 😆

BessieSurtees · 19/02/2023 23:25

My 3 year old DGS in the swimming cubicle announced very loudly wow grandma how big are your knickers much bigger than mummy’s.

Pandapop101 · 19/02/2023 23:26

Love this thread!

In a supermarket toilet with my little one, “mummy why is there strawberry jam in your pants?”

I also had to use the loo when with her in public with a foot against the door as she would always try and unlock the door way before I was done!

Redebs · 19/02/2023 23:26

Leafblow · 19/02/2023 21:56

I overheard from the cubicle next to mine,

Mum your bottom is really big
Thanks Rory
Its bigger than my whole head
Thanks Rory
Your bottom won't fit in my shorts
Well thats why I have my own shorts
Yes..big shorts...to put your BIG bum in
Yep thanks Rory.

I LOVE this!

Timetochangetheoil · 19/02/2023 23:31

JustDrama · 19/02/2023 20:53

My DD to me some years ago.

"Mummy. Your boobies are low"

I heard someone laugh in another cubicle.

Ha! With my two girls this week when I was putting our stuff in the lockers on our way to the pool…”Mummy, why are your legs so prickly!” 🙈🙄

Saschka · 19/02/2023 23:37

imisscashmere · 19/02/2023 22:02

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):

“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”

Over and over while I tried to decide what to say 😂

Mine knows tampons exist but can’t remember the word, so asked “is that a lady bum-bum thing Mummy?”

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