That's it. Anxiety has won. I am exhausted and can't take any more

[Tulips365]

Hi,

I honestly don't know how much more I can take. During the day I'm constantly jumping to worse case scenario and during the night, my OCD kicks in and I have awful, dark thoughts on a constant loop, including disturbing images, like a kaleidoscope of horrors. Last night I got 2 hours sleep and that was actually this morning. I had a panic attack in the middle of the night and wanted to scream. Would have done if it weren't for dp and dd.

Today of course I feel like utter shit.

I have avoided medication for decades, but I think I've hit the wall. I hate the idea of taking something daily and am also very wary of side effects. Mostly weight gain and numbness.

I'm absolutely desperate now. Any natural remedies that actually work or am I absolutely kidding myself?

Thank you.

I think sometimes you just have to take the meds. I had a spell on them when I was really bad and anxiety-induced insomnia was ruining my life.

Non-medical things that massively help me include

• exercise
• time in nature / outside
• no alcohol
• reducing caffeine & sugar

I never experienced numbness on anxiety or depression medication. Quite the contrary, it enabled me to feel and experience life properly.

I feel you! I'm the exact same..I take lovehemp CBD capsules from H&B when I'm desperate and can't cope. There's usually offers on. I don't take them all the time only when I feel a panic attack coming on I pop 2 of them. Also I'm starting therapy in a few weeks.
I'm like you and hate medication- I tried sertraline and it was awful but works differently for everyone so you could give it a go. Trust me when I say I TOTALLY understand though, the exhaustion is real!!

Take the meds, they will change your life. Would also recommend talking therapy.

ERP therapy is great for OCD, you have my upmost empathy.

I’ve just been put on antidepressants this week. I’m taking time out and my partner has come to stay to take some of the load from me. I’ve been struggling for months but a bout of Covid has done me in and it’s all got too much so I’m trying the antidepressants for the first time in my life. Try them, they might even help.

Definitely try medication. Chances are the effects will be more powerful than the side effects. And you can always come off if you don’t like it once you’ve given them a good go. But sertraline has been life changing for me.

Take the meds.

I was like you. Didn't want to be taking medication. Took being close to breakdown for me to give my head a wobble and get on the meds. Life changing.

I hadn't slept for almost a month. Within weeks I was getting 6 hours sleep. I was numb for a bit but that wore off after a month or so. Weight gain was negligible but I'd have happily added a stone to get back to a functioning human being.

Turned out I just need to take the meds for a year or so and then weaned off them under GP care.

I also found exercise, especially outside, and taking some me time really helped. I'm caffeine free and kept away from alcohol which definitely helped.

I think now that if I'd never have refused a cast on a broken bone so why the hell did I refuse to take medication to fix my brain.

I’m sure I saw a stat what 1 in 5 women either here or in the US are on SSRIs. There’s no reason not to give it a try. I’m sure there will be different side effects for everyone but they’ve got to be better than what you’re experiencing just now. I’ve just finished a (very expensive) block of counselling, mainly for a social anxiety type anxiety. I didn’t think it had really helped me any but I do find that I’ve been in situations since that would usually make me anxious and been okay. One of the main things that stands out for me is the therapist saying I should see things for what they are, not what I think they are. Since realising that and kind of absorbing that statement I have found I’ve been a lot less anxious.

Take the medication! I went on propranolol to take before going places but haven’t tried an ssri before, I do plan to though if I start to feel worse. You’d take an antibiotic or pain killers etc, your brain is no different when it’s unwell

Thank you for the replies so far. I really needed to offload this. My dp obviously knows, but no one else knows the extent. I try to push it down and battle through, but it's like walking through treacle.

@Dominoeffecter is that not more for trauma/PTSD?

@Paturday I've heard Sertraline can make insomnia worse. I guess it's different for everyone. I'm glad you've had so much success with it.

Some meds work for some folk and not for others. Speak to your GP. You may find that one med doesn't work for you but another does, also if after 6-8 weeks you're not feeling better you may need to up the dose. SSRIs take time to get right. Think months not weeks.

No it’s for OCD too.

Sertraline literally saved my life. And I too hesitated to take it. Had a prescription in my bag for 9 months before I could bring myself
to try it. Didn’t dull me didn’t have any side affects notable, and stopped me spiralling and all my panic attacks.

coupled this with meditation(u tube Jason Stephenson) and counselling.

If you are looking for natural my recommendation would be to research diet. I'm in a Facebook group called "mental health nutrition" so that could be a place to look. My personal go to would be low carb/keto. I've seen people say that carnivore fixed their mental health but that is very hardcore and I think everyone has very different nutritional needs. From personal experience cutting sugar and starchy carbs (including fruit) has a noticeable impact on my mental health and state of calm.

I was diagnosed Sertraline and propranolol for anxiety and I’m very wary of describing something as life changing but this was.

There was some numbness for a couple of weeks and a small amount of weight gain but that was easily dealt with and the numbness went away but the relief of the elephants foot no longer standing on my chest was incredible

I took it for 2y before coming off of it with the help and support of a doctor and truly my only regret is not doing it sooner.

The opportunity to Take something daily that takes away that crushing feeling and makes me feel human again is not something I take for granted

Meds saved my life in the past. I wouldn't be here without them. Citalopram and propananol. My anxiety was horrific. Adhd meds have completely banished it and I've weaned off the other meds.

@IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece I'm so happy meds helped you. I've just taken my first propananol because of this thread so thanks ladies.
I got prescribed them last week and was too scared to take them. It's done now though 🙈🙈

I started taking beta blockers recently for anxiety because I felt like anti-depressants was too much of a big step. They've really helped reduced the physical symptoms of anxiety, which has helped keep my mind calmer. I'd really recommend giving them a try. Three weeks on I feel like I will be able to get through this without anti-depressants whereas when I started taking them I told myself I'd give it two weeks and then switch to stronger meds.

@Mabelface is that what they usually prescribe for ADHD? I'm pretty sure I also have this. What a delightful combo! 😒

@GlasgowGal82 I have thought about these before and if they would help, as I definitely have too much adrenaline. Can you take them as and when?

Just read that beta blockers can actually cause sleep disturbances because it reduces your natural melatonin levels 🫤

Have you considered remedial hypnosis to get to the root of the issue(s)? Have a look at Tim Box's youtube channel and, if what you see resonates with you then think about talking to one of his Control System practitioners. Most offer a free initial consultation.

In the kindest possible way, please stop googling and have a conversation with a health care professional.

Good luck and I hope you find what works for you.

The trouble is that the cause (anxiety) is stopping you taking the cure (antidepressants).
My DH pushed against taking them for years, but they literally saved his life, he got to the point where he couldn’t continue with the torment.

Was in a similar situation to you in 2021, panic attacks, insomnia, unmanageable anxiety during the day and night. The only thing that helped was completely eliminating alcohol (made
my anxiety 100 x worse), overhauling my diet, prioritising regular exercise and having a strict bedtime/wake time including a wind down and morning routine. I am now in a better place and can identify when I am feeling overwhelmed so I can take a break and check in with myself.

I did not personally want medication although I fully appreciate this is life changing and life saving for many people. It was just my personal choice.

@soupmaker yes, that does sound more wise, I know. I'll be honest though, I've not always had the best experiences when it comes to medical professionals and my MH. Not saying I'm not going to, just that I'm a little sceptical