Shocked by USA court ordering mum to stop BF

[mumyes]

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/breastfeeding-custody-dispute-judge-ruling-child-b2274776.html

Scary.

What an absolute bastard of a 'father'

What have a just read?! As you say @mumyes - scary.

I agree but as long as she is EBF how do they manage visitation? It also matters she has a relationship with her dad.

I agree both parents should have a relationship with child but ffs for the relatively short period that most ppl bf for, and the massive health benefits (plus bonding) it gives, any dad worth their salt should see that he should be supporting the mum to bf. That might mean dad has to see baby at mum's house for x months, or dad takes baby out for short periods at a time.

How stressful for the mum to have to fight for such a basic fucking human instinct / right.

Can't quite believe this requires explaining tbh!!

It’s difficult to say without knowing how far away he lives, whether she wants him in her house etc. It’s not a given he can just pop in a couple of nights a week to see her. There’s often a lot more to it than meets the eye with these outwardly ‘shocking’ court cases.

Very Handmaid's Tale, using the might of the law to police a woman body and deny a baby something natural and beautiful just because a man wants it to be so. His lawyer Tara should be bloody ashamed of herself too. Talk about selling your soul.

So the baby starves if refuses a bottle? Hey as long as dad gets what he wants?...

Am (because am negative Nellie) assuming he'll probably expect the baby to come with bottles fully prepped etc, is going to be happy doIng night feeds etc.

What a dick of a judge

It is shocking that any court could order that , and I hope that it is overturned, however the mother does need to work towards a compromise that allows the child’s father to see his child.

Neither parent is coming out of this well.

Poor mum and poor baby.

What an absolute shit stain of a father. 😡

For the sake of a few months of compromise! Most mum's returning to work after maternity leave here in the UK, their babies manage without mum's breast for the day. So it's not like it's forever is it!! It's a short period of time in your child's life where compromises and logistics revolve around the baby. That's part and parcel of being a parent. I don't get why this is being forced, whose best interests are being tended to here? 😡🙄

I swear women's and children's rights are going backwards not forwards, it's scary.

The baby has a right to be breastfed and only its mother can do that.

Neither parent comes out of this well? What bollocks

Natural it might be.

Beautiful it is not.

5 months FFS. Not the actions of a caring father or a remotely sensible judge. But who cares about the well-being of a woman and her baby…

In your opinion.

I’m not shocked by anything America is doing to women at the moment.

It's the US. Not at all surprised. Misogyny is everywhere, but it certainly thrives there.

In a months time the baby will start weaning and have solids in addition. I'd be so annoyed if I had to go through all the shite and hassle of bottles (I found bf easy by my third) to facilitate someone else.

Surely she needs to make the baby available and let him sort out bottles and formula if he wants. There will always be different things at Dads house. So does she have to change her house to facilitate this? Will she have to co-sleep if the dad doesn't have an empty quiet bedroom, to make sure that the baby can sleep in a louder brighter environment? What about nappies? Will she need to potty train on a schedule to facilitate him too?

The problem is you only have to go on the divorce/separation board to read posters being actively encouraged to continue BF as long as possible so as to deny fathers overnight/ regular access to young babies/children - so on MN the evidence is there in black and white that BF is routinely weaponised in a relationship breakdown situation and this American court has recognised that.

I wouldn't be surprised if we see more of this happening

The baby is 5 months old. The father is allowed 2 nights a week overnights. Mother has been accused of weaponising her feeding of baby.

This is an absolute outrage and theres no reasonable "other side" here. Baby should continue to BF and stay with mom until the majority of their nutrition is not from breast milk surely?!

This.

I understood the baby was born in July and therefore ~7 months old? And that dad would feed her expressed milk alongside food.

I'm Not saying the court is right by the way just that not every mothers intention when it comes to BF doesn't come with ulterior motives and unfortunately that will mean many genuine mothers will suffer because of the suspicion that they are deliberately doing it to manipulate custody arrangements

This is true and it is recommended but its still best for baby undeniably in the short term at least.

There's 17 years of being a pefect parent to go, why do men want to rob the first year? Sure they wont be as demanding when child hits 13.

Isn't maternity leave 6 weeks in the US? With that sort of background, I can see a court thinking a baby should be able to go a few hours without their mother (not that I agree with them). And overnight visits at such a small age seems hard to imagine.

I read differently but could be wrong. Mum struggles to expresss and either wat prolonged separation from baby even with pumping can reduce BM output.

Reading the article it states that the father gave space for her to nurse the baby but presumably that has been rejected hence why they are now up in court so there must be a massive backstory we aren't party to as to why this has become so acrimonious