Shocked by USA court ordering mum to stop BF

[mumyes]

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/breastfeeding-custody-dispute-judge-ruling-child-b2274776.html

Scary.

What an absolute bastard of a 'father'

Well yes. But not until after some entirely avoidable stress to the baby that I'd find hard to forgive as a mother.

This is awful. Sets my teeth on edge and brings a lump to my throat. Agree is very Handmaid's Tale.

I am not understanding this comment. I don't think anyone should bs breast fed til 8. My first didn't get breast fed beyond a few days. Whether or not we think breast or bottle is better is irrelevant here (or it is to me, anyway).

The issue here instead is policing a woman's body, using the law to do so, for a man's convenience.

Ain’t that the truth! 😂

Who do you think is angry with you?

I can also see this both ways. Ideally, mum should be able to bf - let's not forget, though, that most babies in the US and quite a few in the U.K. will need to be fed an alternative milk so that mum can work at some point in a week. These babies survive just fine and some of the hyperbole about not breastfeeding at this age is unhelpful.

It also sounds as if mum has been purposely weaponising bf against dad. You don't know if the judge would have ordered this, or even whether it would have got to a judge, if the mother had been reasonable about what level of access dad could expect to have past the initial newborn stage and towards weaning.

It does feel a bit heavy handed, but there are clearly some on here who try to use bf to deny contact and then use the lack of consistent contact as a baby as a way of preventing contact going forward. Then get upset when dad is "deadbeat"

No it really isn't.

What's not beautiful about it? Genuinely asking.

I'd sort of agree actually. I breastfed my twins and have a few photos that the BF consultant at the hospital advised I take to remember positioning and so on. Massive boobs that took on a weird shape probably lopsided, having to faff about with nipple shields milk spraying everywhere flabby tummy often on show.
I enjoyed it and loved that bonding time but I agree it definitely didn't look beautiful at times 😂

But according to many on here they deserve time with babies to bond too. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles. All "Deserve" to feed and bond with baby.

This is just another step towards that. Mothers as incubators.

Absolutely horrendous. A 7 month old being away overnight from the breastfeeding mother! Will mess with mums supply and hormones and baby won't have the comfort or sustenance they are used to. There's no good reason to have a baby forcibly away from their mother for extended periods. Dad should have wait a few months until baby is more reliant on solids! This decision has clearly been made in the interests of the father alone.
My 9mo still feeds frequently round the clock and neither of us would want to stop to appease someone else!

I think right now it's horrid because the baby is still 5 months.

However I've seen the other side of this. I always wanted to extended BF but couldn't and a close person kept saying babies shouldn't be BF past 6 months and not at night last a year.

The. Split with their DP when baby was 5 months. And BF until baby was 2 and openly admitted it was to stop the father having overnights as punishment for him leaving.

So without knowing all the background I'm sat on the fence with the thought that there should have been a better plan which involved the baby being older before it was introduced.

Ironically the same person above now moans the dad doesn't do enough overnights but won't take it back to court to get more in case they get more overnights than they want them to have 🙄

You're not objective, you're just wrong!

Thanks for the link @Twizbe! Looking forward to having a read.

Breastfeeding doesn't work like that. There are no schedules.

The schedule is 'when the baby is hungry!'

Well said.

Just imagine being away from your breastfeeding baby overnight. Totally nauseating.
Obviously no one pushing for this cares that milk supply isn't something you can turn off and on. If the baby is taken away from the mother, she will get engorgement and her milk will fail.
But I guess that's what the father wants.

Or tired or sad or teething or thirsty or it’s 5am so why not.

How does this advance women’s rights at all?

I think the ruling is fair. Joint custody is the norm in the US unless one parent is considered unfit. Combination feeding isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Obviously no one pushing for this cares that milk supply isn't something you can turn off and on. If the baby is taken away from the mother, she will get engorgement and her milk will fail

I have taken business trips abroad while breastfeeding and I’d just pump and dump out the milk. Solutions are there … if she wants them ofc

Do we want fathers as equal partners or no? Joint custody was a step towards that, as in the past the mother almost always had full custody.

Judging from response here, in UK joint custody is still not really the norm?

Joint custody after infancy. Not before.

I can pump. My body just won't let down without my baby. Pumping is also not pleasant. It's not a solution for everyone.

Equal? Yes. The same? No. Dad's can have equal access to infants once they can birth and breastfeed them.

“let's not forget, though, that most babies in the US and quite a few in the U.K. will need to be fed an alternative milk so that mum can work at some point in a week.”

Breastfeeding rates are much higher in the US than they are in the UK. Returning to work earlier doesn’t stop a lot of women from feeding their children expressed milk,
or in some cases making use of on-site nursing rooms or alternate arrangements (e.g visiting their nearby nursery during breaks) to continue breastfeeding.

Hardly accurate to claim “most” American babies need to be fed an alternate milk instead of being breastfed because of all the working mothers when the data doesn’t support that.

can't