Thread 5 - TalkExiles: "The Planet Goes On Being Round"

[Kucinghitam]

Continuation of previous lifeboat threads (thread 4).

Gather here all ye refugees from the JTT Flat Earth Society, welcome to the reassuringly oblate spheroid of MN! Ye all already know the answers to the questions "How the heck do I format my post?" "Why can't I edit my typos?" "What do those acronyms mean?" and most importantly, "Where is everybody that I used to know?"

So really we're all here just to chat randomly.

Snooker tables are like football fields!

Genuinely fascinated. I’d always wondered!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4740097-how-do-you-use-a-bidet?

In Malaysia every loo either has a hose next to it or a built-in bidet spray thing. We call it the “bum gun.”

I'd like a bum gun! We rented an apartment in France a few years ago that had one. The water was only cold though (I think it was fed from the toilet cistern) so it was a little "invigorating".

We are low tech and have one of those jugs with a thin curves spout you get in shops in areas with muslim populations.

I am a bit confused by people who seem not to know how to clean their bums properly - surely at the very least everyone does a thorough clean in the shower, don't they......?

I wish they were easier to get here. My plumber looked baffled when I asked, but did manage to give me a long hose on the shower. A bit too much water to be easily manageable, but wonderful when coping with a tottery elderly parent.

The water was only cold though (I think it was fed from the toilet cistern) so it was a little "invigorating".

Ah yes, that’s not a problem in Malaysia, but I can see it would be perhaps a bit too fresh in Northern Europe!

I worked on an Indonesian ship and all the toilets had hoses, for cleaning bums. The floors were constantly awash....

The floors were constantly awash....

That used to be a very common problem in Malaysia too. And still is, especially in old-fashioned loos or squat-type loos or rural areas. People used to be a lot more splashy in their post-toilet ablutions. DH and DDs were frequently appalled by the wet floors.

A combination of modernisation/westernisation and built-in bum guns means the wet floor thing is becoming less of a problem.

We have a Japanese restaurant in town with a wonderful loo with built-in (warm water) sprays that clean front or back. I make a point of using it every time I go there because it's so nice!

Kucinghitam · Today 11:37

A combination of modernisation/westernisation and built-in bum guns means the wet floor thing is becoming less of a problem.

That seems to be a sensible idea.

In other news, I went to get my daughter from her friend's house a little while ago. Coming from across the road was the sound of a peacock. I'm not sure what it's doing on an estate in my little seaside town, but it was non-stop.

Can't say I'd be happy to be a neighbour!

I'd love a bidet. We're very backward in the UK when it comes to comfortable bum hygiene. If I had the money I'd definitely buy a fancy Japanese toilet which would do the whole job! I currently don't have the money for that - who does! - or the space for a bidet.

We have a bidet seat on our new "smart" toilet, which I probably won't use. Only £*!X"%, when I'm extremely skint!

I was boggling at one of the responses about not wanting to use her bare hand. Does she only use a loofah or something? Or just not visit that area at all during a shower?

I absolutely loved a bum gun when we went to Thailand. But I was never quite sure, are you meant to dry your bits off afterwards? Which was fine in your hotel but a bit less practical in a restaurant loo.

When I went to the village shop yesterday there were two male bullfinches and a female in the little garden area beside the forecourt. Today I went to buy the Sunday Times (I don't usually, but this time it seemed relevant) and there were two females and a male. Looks as though there may be a population explosion this year (I do hope they aren't all siblings). Really laid back, no problem with me standing and gawking at them from a couple of metres away.

Nicked a picture off the internet, but it underplays the colouring - the males are almost too bright, and the females are such rich, intense shades - the sort of thing people going for greys and neutrals in house decor can only dream of.

Isn't Spring lovely?

ps, the real life birds are the bright ones - the ones in the image are a bit washed out by comparison

Wow! We have recently acquired a song thrush who sees it as their duty to sing their little heart out at about 05:30 every morning, right outside our bedroom window. Lovely sound but I sometimes wish there were an off button.

Mr Village Shop was interested to know what they were called (several people commented on them yesterday) but I think I lost him slightly when I started to imitate the call. I was given to understand he hears rather too much birdsong at 6.30 am!

I'd love that Poppyseed - I'm usually awake anyway then and it would cheer the day. Ever since we moved to our new house, which is on a new build estate, I've missed the birds at the old house. We get a few species here -robins, blackbirds, occasional finches, and corvids of course. But the old house was by some woods and we hot all sorts.

fenderstrat's "who comes to your bird table" is one of the threads I miss, a litle.

I visited the old place earlier, and we are all still cunts and bigots in the enlightened eyes of Cavani.

Ignore them Angelico, they're a sad bunch of enablers and birds are more fun. If you want to rant and rave there is plenty of scope on the feminist boards. I used a word that would have got me zapped in the old place, I'm waiting to see will it survive here.

Heat death of the universe

Went out for dimsum brunch at a newish place in town - it seemed pretty promising judging by the queue. And indeed, the food was very nice, helped me to feel less homesick and offset my Malaysian-food withdrawal symptoms.

This menu item was a bit of a mystery though (I was tempted to order one to try).

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · Today 14:08

I was given to understand he hears rather too much birdsong at 6.30 am!

Oh dear, it would cheer me up and I'd be happy to tell people.

Pig Fat End, eh? Buttocks?

Well, if I imagine I was looking at a pig and had to label which end was fat, I'd be able to make an informed guess. Deffo order it the next time.

Sinner, it would cheer me up too, but he has a professional persona to keep up. He already undermines it by doing free deliveries to anyone isolated or housebound, being very indulgent to children buying cheap sweets slowly and stickily and by taking good care of his elderly mother. If he started admitting to enjoying birdsong people might think he was soft.

Ah, I understand.

Lovely birds! Just heard the busy noisy birdsong outside because I focused on it - it’s always there (I live in a wood) but most of the time I don’t consciously register it. Light till 5.30 or so now in Devon, I LOVE this time of year, when everything’s ahead of us.

If I were supreme world ruler, I’d change New Year’s Day to the first of February, far enough from Christmas, and just as the evenings become appreciably lighter, spring is on the way, new beginnings.

Vote for me. I’ll stop all the clock-changing nonsense too.