I finally have a second date this week, wahoo!

[Lookingforlov3]

As the title says, I have a second date planned later this week, and it’s the first second date I’ve been on in years!

Had a spell of first dates recently which never made it to a second date (even though I thought they went well).

So any tips on how to have a good second date most welcome! We kissed on the first date so am hoping there is chemistry there…

Tips from me are be yourself and wear whatever you feel most confident & comfortable in. Also smell amazing 😊Hope it goes well. Are you going anywhere nice?

No tips as been married a long time & forgotten what it’s like to be excited again, but wanted to say hurray and hope it goes well!

Just be yourself. I hope it goes well x

So I had the date last night. He ended up coming back to mine. I thought the date went well but the vibes had completely changed this morning. I felt that it was quite awkward and he was a bit “off”.

Should I let him message me today? If he doesn’t message today, should I message tomorrow? Or just leave it?

Arghhh feeling rubbish 😞

Oh no 😩 I think this is a common thing. Men pull away after sex and women feel more attached/vunerable. I'm assuming you slept together. I know it might sound the wrong thing to do, but if I was you I'd pull away and go a bit cold unless he carries on contacting you and rearranging other dates.
I might get loads of shit for this from others about game playing etc. It's not playing games, it's protecting your own feelings IMO. I wouldn't message him unless he gets in touch first.

Thanks @CassieMc

This is what I am thinking… he knows how to contact me and I think I made it clear I’d be up for a third date… I don’t want to set myself up for a “thanks, no thanks” message…

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Did he say to you he'll be in touch? How did things get left this morning? Did he kiss you before he left?

Mornings after the nights before can be quite awkward. Doesn't mean he won't be in touch.
Personally I wouldn't contact him. You'll have people on here saying it doesn't matter who contacts who, but honestly if he's interested he'll be in touch.
Hopefully you had fun, and if he doesn't get in touch you can mark it up as an experience and move on without giving it too much headspace :)

@Robin451 nope neither of us said anything about see you soon or we’ll be in touch. We definitely did talk about a third date last night though.

We had a very awkward kiss goodbye where he sort of ended up just kissing my cheek/hair. Not quite sure what was going to happen…

Hmm I'd wait for him to message you first for sure and in the mean time keep yourself busy. Treat yourself to something, maybe get your hair or nails done. It's a good distraction and will help you not focus on him getting in touch.

Are you sure you're just not making it awkward? Sex can make you feel a bit vulnerable afterwards. Don't feel rubbish, you had a good night. I wouldn't message him personally, wait for him to message you!

I can’t understand the rush to jump into bed with someone when you hardly know them and there is nothing to look forward to!

I am old fashioned I like the meeting ups that dating brings and getting to know each other and the flirting and the build up to spending a night together and it seems to keep many a man’s attention.

I keep reading on here that a date goes well and the man is keen and then they sleep together and the man turns cold.

Modern feminism has deemed it acceptable to decide early on that it’s ok to not wait but in the real world men that are looking for a long term partner are often turned off by this.

I am not a feminist so I guess my thinking is out of date.

@Tamarindtree I agree about waiting to sleep with some. I'd make them wait especially if I could see a future, but sometimes things just happen in the moment and there's no shame in that.

I’d wait for him to text, sorry Op, I’m trusting your gut on this one.

Kissed your cheek/hair? That does sound awkward. Trust your gut.

Keep looking online.

I agree. I’m not trying to shame anyone. Just from my own experience and seeing other women and reading about it in here it seems that women who feel liberated are not appreciated by men who are happy to have sex and are often the ones to initiate it but then go cold when the woman responds positively!

🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree to be honest. Even if I really fancied someone I'd make them wait. I won't even kiss until the second date but I'm a cold bitch 😂

@MadeForThis I don’t really know what happened. I think he maybe was going in for a peck on the lips but I sort of moved out of the way as I thought he was going for a cheek.

I don’t know but I hate how I make it awkward in those situations!

I am definitely not going to message. Is tomorrow an option or if he doesn’t message then I shouldn’t make contact with him ever again?

Sorry but if he doesn’t reply today I’d move on. If a guy likes you he wouldn’t wait. Online dating is bloody hard . I made it a rule myself after dating these jerks that I wouldn’t sleep with someone until the 4th or 5th date.

You're alright OP, delaying or being hasty with sex doesn't make a bad man turn good.
I've had three dates recently. I had sex with two after Date 3 (1-2months) and they ghosted me afterwards. My last date whom I was really into and waited 6 months to have sex with, began acting 'off' afterwards.
I'll echo what a PP said about protecting your feelings. It's not a game, but don't chase lest you begin to feel bad.
All the best

If he doesn't contact you I definitely wouldn't send a message.

What sort of discussion did you have a m out a third date? Did you discuss a time? This week/next week?

The next morning can be awkward I wouldn't worry too much about that but if you have slept together and he hasn't sent you a message by tomorrow then he isn't too keen.

Thanks all. So bloody disheartening 😞

I think it’s actually harder now we have mobile phones!

Because we can communicate instantly, if someone doesn’t, we think there must be something wrong.

It was so much easier when we didn’t have phones and a guy would see you on say a Saturday night and arrange to see you next Thursday at such and such a time and you’d both spend those days in eager anticipation of meeting up and have loads to talk about on that Thursday!

Now everything is said in texts, messages and calls before you even meet up!

@Lookingforlov3 Keep your chin up lovely! There's so many more fish in the sea. Cliche but true! You never know he might contact you but if not don't be disheartened. Get yourself back out there x