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Original poster

If someone abandoned a baby on your doorstep, would you be tempted to keep it?

212 replies

acassadei · 03/02/2023 19:46

Inspired by the Dumbledore thread over in AIBU. Someone mentioned that (imaginary) Harry Potter was abandoned on a (imaginary) doorstep in November, and I felt a little stab of pure sadness and baby hunger. Should mention that DC1 is 6mo and I am VERY flooded with baby hormones at the moment.

anyway I know if someone abandons a baby in my doorstep legally I’d have to call the police and give it to social services, but I’d WANT to just keep it. And ethically, is there not some justification for that? Baby could just slot right into the family. Surely that’s less traumatic than going through the care system? You’d have to forge a birth certificate I suppose. But then you could just move right on with giving the baby a lovely life. No fuss, no mess, no drama, no tragedy. Would anyone else be tempted or is it just me? 😂

OP posts:
EL0ISE · 03/02/2023 22:12

AllOutofEverything · 03/02/2023 22:05

@ELOISE Babies mothers are sometimes found. Case last year in Birmingham.

news.sky.com/story/birmingham-mother-of-baby-abandoned-in-park-found-after-search-lasting-eight-months-12495320

Thank you , that’s interesting, I’m glad they found her, for her sake and the baby’s.

@pavinganeweoadtowalkon yes sadly it still happens. I suspect that some of them are concealed pregnancies or women / girls who are victims of abuse. The babies are often just a few hours old 😥

LuckyPeonies · 03/02/2023 22:15

acassadei · 03/02/2023 19:46

Inspired by the Dumbledore thread over in AIBU. Someone mentioned that (imaginary) Harry Potter was abandoned on a (imaginary) doorstep in November, and I felt a little stab of pure sadness and baby hunger. Should mention that DC1 is 6mo and I am VERY flooded with baby hormones at the moment.

anyway I know if someone abandons a baby in my doorstep legally I’d have to call the police and give it to social services, but I’d WANT to just keep it. And ethically, is there not some justification for that? Baby could just slot right into the family. Surely that’s less traumatic than going through the care system? You’d have to forge a birth certificate I suppose. But then you could just move right on with giving the baby a lovely life. No fuss, no mess, no drama, no tragedy. Would anyone else be tempted or is it just me? 😂

Absolutely NO, not even if you paid me! 😁 But an animal, absolutely yes!

Adviceneeded200 · 03/02/2023 22:17

Interesting question as I'm 55!
I wouldn't if the baby had family or close friends. I wouldn't if the baby could be adopted by a loving, possibly infertile, parents.

Otherwise, yes I would not see them go into care if they'd been delivered to me

PocketRocket45 · 03/02/2023 22:19

I definitely would be tempted too. Probably because I'm in a similar life stage as you, with young DC who are growing too fast for my liking!

keeprunning55 · 03/02/2023 22:24

Yes. I’d love to keep the baby and love them as my own. I know I legally couldn’t, but i’d most definitely want to.

elgreco · 03/02/2023 22:38

Fuck no

user467892 · 03/02/2023 22:48

God no, I've got enough stress with my own toddler 😂

thatheavyperson · 03/02/2023 23:42

Oh definitely yes. But I'm also currently quite heavily pregnant and broody for baby #3 before I've even given birth to my second one, so maybe get back to me once my hormones go back to normal Grin

Westfacing · 03/02/2023 23:55

Well I'd bring baby indoors and as a former paediatric nurse give it a once over and a bit of a cuddle, but as I'm 68 it would be best if I called the authorities and not try to pass it off as my own!

Fraaahnces · 04/02/2023 00:00

I’d be worried which of my kids’ friends had had a baby in secret and suffered through a pregnancy without feeling able to tell someone. I’d be asking my kids to say absolutely nothing to anyone about the baby and to wait and see if any of their friends allude to it in any way so I could find a way to get them help.

Mydogatemypurse · 04/02/2023 00:11

Not at all. Id shut the door and phone the police to remove asap

DingDonkey · 04/02/2023 05:46

I was daydreaming about this happening with a puppy! I really want a dog but would only get one if it fell into my lap as I don't really have the time (so if it was fated I'd make the time but I'm not going to take that on willingly). This is how we got our first cat who was the most wonderful cat in the world.

A child, I would keep them if I was able to. We are thinking about having another baby anyway.

Emotionalsupportviper · 04/02/2023 11:10

A friend of mine found a kitten dumped in a plastic carrier bag and had her for 25 years.

I have to confess that on every dog walk (I have both cats and dogs) I scour bushes, doorways, etc in the hope that I will be similarly blessed.

Mr Viper has said "no more", but he's a soft bugger, and if I brought home a little orphan it would be on his knee in a heartbeat getting a cuddle while I sorted out a little bed and a bit of dinner for it.

Emotionalsupportviper · 04/02/2023 11:11

*15 years - not 25. Slip of a little fat finger

Sceptre86 · 04/02/2023 11:14

I'd want to keep him or her. I think I'm just one of those perpetually broody people. In reality I'd do the right things and call the police and then pray the child goes on to live a happy life.

Mallairígh · 04/02/2023 11:17

Not a chance.

Stardu · 04/02/2023 11:20

I would want to keep it, and try to, but social services have a long list of parents wanting to adopt babies and I doubt they’d let me queue jump just cos I found the baby.

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 04/02/2023 11:32

I daydream about this but in reality, at pushing 50, what I'm really dreaming of is having my own back as babies. What would it be like to live those times over knowing the little person behind the teething and tantrums already? And knowing what would turn out ok and having a second chance at things that didn't.

But practically, I'd be more worried about the mum and as other posters have said babies in the care system are likely to be fine, it's older children that are at risk.

Sprogonthetyne · 04/02/2023 11:40

I'd certainly want to, but realistically no, not without knowing what lead to baby being left there. It could have a mum with PND, who needs help to be able to parent, or is herself in danger and trying to protect baby. Involving ss could enable them to be reunited and suported as a family, which would be better for the baby long term. I would want to remain as involved as SS would allow (I'm not sure what's allowed), and if appropriate would ask to be assessed as a potential carer/ adaptive family.

Rosio · 04/02/2023 11:55

Baby cat yes baby human no way

@garlictwist it's true!! Someone posted the link above I just read it!

DinosApple · 04/02/2023 12:02

I'd want to, but DH definitely wouldn't. Our DC are teens. I'd certainly want to cuddle them for as long as possible.

I would always want to keep in contact with them though and would love to meet up and answer any questions they had as they got older.

bussteward · 04/02/2023 12:06

Mydogatemypurse · 04/02/2023 00:11

Not at all. Id shut the door and phone the police to remove asap

You’d leave a baby on the doorstep like it’s an Evri parcel return?

Mydogatemypurse · 04/02/2023 12:22

bussteward · 04/02/2023 12:06

You’d leave a baby on the doorstep like it’s an Evri parcel return?

Show quote history

Ha ha, no. I'd hand it to the police. I really hope someone doesn't abandon a baby on my step though, id go into utter fear mode.

Beezknees · 04/02/2023 12:24

Not at all. I have a teenager DC and I was a teenage mum. I'm in the later stages of parenting, and in my early 30s. My 40s are going to be for ME, not child rearing again!

gogohmm · 04/02/2023 12:27

No, but I would happily cuddle it or even care for it until the authorities could trace the mother/find a placement. I don't mind a bit of temporary baby care but no intention of raising any more. Mine are grown!