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Original poster

If someone abandoned a baby on your doorstep, would you be tempted to keep it?

212 replies

acassadei · 03/02/2023 19:46

Inspired by the Dumbledore thread over in AIBU. Someone mentioned that (imaginary) Harry Potter was abandoned on a (imaginary) doorstep in November, and I felt a little stab of pure sadness and baby hunger. Should mention that DC1 is 6mo and I am VERY flooded with baby hormones at the moment.

anyway I know if someone abandons a baby in my doorstep legally I’d have to call the police and give it to social services, but I’d WANT to just keep it. And ethically, is there not some justification for that? Baby could just slot right into the family. Surely that’s less traumatic than going through the care system? You’d have to forge a birth certificate I suppose. But then you could just move right on with giving the baby a lovely life. No fuss, no mess, no drama, no tragedy. Would anyone else be tempted or is it just me? 😂

OP posts:
Tamarindtree · 03/02/2023 20:26

cindylawless · 03/02/2023 20:24

If it was cute, yes. If an ugly baby, no.

Sorry, but some babies are bloody ugly! And some are lucky and have lovely even features from day 1 Smile

Al Chinese babies are beautiful.

KindergartenKop · 03/02/2023 20:26

As a kid I had this exact fantasy. Except it was a box of kittens 😺😺😺

cindylawless · 03/02/2023 20:27

@Tamarindtree I can't say I disagree. I watched an (awful) documentary clip about Chinese orphanages and they were all baby girls, abandoned. All absolutely beautiful and tied to chairs and their legs tied up when they could walk so they wouldn't cause a nuisance Sad

WolfFoxHare · 03/02/2023 20:29

Yeah I would be. I have secondary infertility but we’re always wanted another child. Obviously I wouldn’t keep it really.

WeatherWizard · 03/02/2023 20:29

I went downstairs one morning and found a puppy on the doorstop!

Obviously, amazing and we were all very excited. Our dog, in dog years early 20s, was the first to say wasn't sure.
Then we all started thinking about going through the baby stage again, and would it miss it's family, and would they be missing it. Then would be have to disguise it for walks..... It got so complicated, we put it on Facebook and the distraught owners came and picked it up and gave us a bottle of wine.

We also captured a loose dog on an A road who we named Santa's Little Helper, it was a bit shifty looking, we wouldn't let it in the nicer parts of the house. We were very pleased when the negligent teens, finally picked up our messages.

I think I'm ready to move on to stray baby wrangling.

Cherrysherbet · 03/02/2023 20:30

yes, I’d want to keep it. I think my maternal instinct would kick in big time.

HadEnoughOfBears · 03/02/2023 20:30

LightDrizzle · 03/02/2023 19:47

Puppy yes, baby no.

Exactly this

cindylawless · 03/02/2023 20:30

https://fb.watch/ita7XOE2DL/

Link if anyone is interested Sad

Twawmyarse2 · 03/02/2023 20:32

Yes, I'd love to have another baby.

Obviously I'd check no one was missing a baby first and if no one claimed it - I'd keep it.

QuinnofHearts · 03/02/2023 20:33

I cared for a patient who was dying, and she told me that this is how her son was "born"! She opened the door one day and a baby was on her doorstep, and that was that!

bobbytorq · 03/02/2023 20:37

Absolutely not!

Original poster
acassadei · 03/02/2023 20:37

@QuinnofHearts oh amazing!! That’s so lovely! 😍😭

OP posts:
alwaysmovingforwards · 03/02/2023 20:37

Nope, I've done my shift 😂

Plenty of other loving families for it to be united with who would love to provide a good home. But not here thanks.

RainLover · 03/02/2023 20:38

Absolutely yes. Not all of the document-forging reality of it, but the dream of offering the home we’ve created to a baby were ready, able and have been trying desperately to have? Yes please. There’s lots of love here, and we’ll be starting the adoption process shortly, so this would seem like a short cut and a dream come true, for us.

gemloving · 03/02/2023 20:38

I'd take it in, get husband to get bottles and formula, then see what needs to happen aka call the police.

Messyhair321 · 03/02/2023 20:39

This is something my gran told me, she was born in 1908 - been dead a long while. So when she was little a Gypsy/traveller (no ethnic scapegoating intended) knocked on her door, her mother answered & this woman asked if my great grandmother look after her little girl, explaining that she had to go away etc. She took the little girl in.

Fast forward several months she came back & said she wanted her back. With no legal framework she reluctantly did. But she was living on a site in a field not far from my grans house. So my great grandmother used to visit her. The little girl wasn't being looked after & one day my great grandmother went to visit & found her just sat in the mud. My great grandmother was so upset that she vowed to take her & not give her back.
That's what happened. She stayed with my great grandmother for her whole childhood.

In those days it wasn't unusual for people to "adopt" other people's children - my other grandmother's parents died when she was about 10. She had two brothers, all 3 were looked after by the neighbours for the rest of their childhood. I don't think it was nice but I don't think that this arrangement was unusual back then.

Aldisfinest · 03/02/2023 20:41

I would be so tempted to keep it but perhaps that's because I'm so hormonal and pregnant right now Grin

Twawmyarse2 · 03/02/2023 20:41

Messyhair321 · 03/02/2023 20:39

This is something my gran told me, she was born in 1908 - been dead a long while. So when she was little a Gypsy/traveller (no ethnic scapegoating intended) knocked on her door, her mother answered & this woman asked if my great grandmother look after her little girl, explaining that she had to go away etc. She took the little girl in.

Fast forward several months she came back & said she wanted her back. With no legal framework she reluctantly did. But she was living on a site in a field not far from my grans house. So my great grandmother used to visit her. The little girl wasn't being looked after & one day my great grandmother went to visit & found her just sat in the mud. My great grandmother was so upset that she vowed to take her & not give her back.
That's what happened. She stayed with my great grandmother for her whole childhood.

In those days it wasn't unusual for people to "adopt" other people's children - my other grandmother's parents died when she was about 10. She had two brothers, all 3 were looked after by the neighbours for the rest of their childhood. I don't think it was nice but I don't think that this arrangement was unusual back then.

What happened to the girl?

CornishGem1975 · 03/02/2023 20:42

Yes! In a heartbeat.

MrsApplepants · 03/02/2023 20:42

Definitely if it was a puppy. Absolutely not if it was a child!

viques · 03/02/2023 20:43

I know someone who was an abandoned baby. He is incredibly bitter about it, parents never came forward or were tracked down.If a baby was abandoned on a doorstop it would be the worst thing you could do to deny it the opportunity to have its parents found , which is what you would be doing if you pretended it was yours.

Trinity65 · 03/02/2023 20:45

As a Mature Mum with no Grandchildren on the horizon I would hold that little baby close, until the Police and/or Social Services turn up as I would ring them.
I would hope I would be told the outcome, ie Baby reunited with Mother, Baby put in Care etc but it is the kind of thing that attracts media attention

Twawmyarse2 · 03/02/2023 20:45

viques · 03/02/2023 20:43

I know someone who was an abandoned baby. He is incredibly bitter about it, parents never came forward or were tracked down.If a baby was abandoned on a doorstop it would be the worst thing you could do to deny it the opportunity to have its parents found , which is what you would be doing if you pretended it was yours.

I think this thread is supposed to be lighthearted!

Im sure no one would actually keep the baby and not notify the police 🤣

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 03/02/2023 20:45

all the legal stuff and reality aside - yes. I don’t have children, not really fussed either way about having them, but an abandoned helpless mite would be straight inside my kitchen and being looked after for life!

I never thought about baby Harry being left outside in November before. :(

garlictwist · 03/02/2023 20:46

Luckydog7 · 03/02/2023 20:02

Wasn't there a case where a man found an abandoned baby on a subway station. He called the police and no mother was found. He was contacted to see if he would want to keep the baby. He and his boyfriend discussed it, and then said yes! Sure I read about in a paper.

I highly doubt this is true. It's not "finders keepers" with babies.