If someone abandoned a baby on your doorstep, would you be tempted to keep it?

[acassadei]

Inspired by the Dumbledore thread over in AIBU. Someone mentioned that (imaginary) Harry Potter was abandoned on a (imaginary) doorstep in November, and I felt a little stab of pure sadness and baby hunger. Should mention that DC1 is 6mo and I am VERY flooded with baby hormones at the moment.

anyway I know if someone abandons a baby in my doorstep legally I’d have to call the police and give it to social services, but I’d WANT to just keep it. And ethically, is there not some justification for that? Baby could just slot right into the family. Surely that’s less traumatic than going through the care system? You’d have to forge a birth certificate I suppose. But then you could just move right on with giving the baby a lovely life. No fuss, no mess, no drama, no tragedy. Would anyone else be tempted or is it just me? 😂

Not a fucking chance in hell

In real life, no - obviously that's illegal and I'd want to make sure the parents got the proper mental and physical health support they needed.

But in the spirit this thread is written, absolutely. I'd love to have a third child but not only is my DH now a bit too old for they to be fair on him I also had appalling pregnancies. Another pregnancy would put me at high risk for a life changing illness that would affect the whole family.

I've said many times I'd happily birth again and have a baby but I would never ever be pregnant again

Kitten maybe, baby no

No. It wouldn't be fair to them in the long run.

The "children in need of another relative to care for them" scenario nearly arose for extended family recently and we had to reluctantly admit we couldn't do it (baby and toddler, one or the other we might have managed). Just not enough hands, time or space.

Wasn't there a case where a man found an abandoned baby on a subway station. He called the police and no mother was found. He was contacted to see if he would want to keep the baby. He and his boyfriend discussed it, and then said yes! Sure I read about in a paper.

Snap

Once the dc have left home, I'm not even having a spider plant

In a cutesy fairytale story book world where I was a watchmaker or similar, and raised the child in a medieval style village, teaching them about the world through a series of aphorisms and life lessons, eating crusty bread and hot tea, whilst waiting for their real parents to collect them after recognising the half locket they left in the basket? Yes.

in real life? No.

But Harry Potter was left at the relative's door step, that makes the difference?

And yes, I would be tempted to keep, but I think I will worry about the legal consequences and the responsibility of raising a child at the same time.

No. Wouldn't even entertain the thought, straight onto the police.

Absolutely not, only ever wanted my own biological children.

Yes, yes, yes!
I used to have dreams about the scenario as a young woman.

Yes found it! I wonder if it is usual to offer the baby to the person who found it

www-bbc-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.bbc.com/news/stories-56409764.amp?amp_gsa=1&amp_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16754545893682&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.com%2Fnews%2Fstories-56409764

I’d be tempted for a short while but not forever. I would definitely want to name him/her and be part of their life.

If someone would drop the baby off in a few years time i would give the baby to ds1 and his fiancé

or they could just cut out the middle man and drop the baby off at their house

No way! I do love babies...but I really couldn't face looking after one again!

I would want to keep the baby.
I know I can't really do that. But I would really really want to.

It's a nice thought for a few minutes and I would cuddle the baby till the police arrived. If its a newborn and they can't trace the mother it would probably be adopted fairly quickly, quicker than older children who can sadly stay in the care system for years xx

No - no maternal instinct or skills. Would be very worried what was going on with the mother to do that.

I am constantly broody so I'd be very tempted. But I'm also a single parent and very broody to have another baby WITH a partner. I'm not sure I could do the lone parenting thing with three of them! But oh god id be tempted.

Also id want to be able to breastfeed 😂 Which sounds like a really trivial thing to consider but I've breastfed and I've done bottles and bloody hell you couldn't pay me to go back to the endless cycle of washing and sterilising and formula measuring. So id need to be able to induce lactation as well.

I'm clearly overthinking this hypothetical too much

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Oh god. On the one hand my youngest has only just started sleeping though and DH and I have agreed we are 100% done with babies. Love pregnancy, love kids once they can walk, sleep and talk, hate the bit in the middle.

But the idea of an abandoned child makes me want to weep and I would want to do everything I could to protect the little bundle.

I think this is one of those scenarios where I’d be quite grateful that it was so clear what ‘doing the right thing’ was, so I wouldn’t feel like it was my decision to make. But I’d want to stay in touch with the baby if at all possible. I can’t imagine handing them over to SS and never knowing what became of them, never being able to be sure they were loved and happy.

Kitten - definitely yes. Baby - no.

Definitely not.
A kitten though - what a dream come true!

I'm not really a 'baby' person so while I would be very concerned I'd be straight in to the police.

God no. Hard enough being a present and loving mother every day to my own two.