Elderly parent moving in- how much did adaptations cost?

[OMGidontbelieveit]

So looks as though my mum can’t live independently any more.

I live on my own and have a small 3 bed so she’s moving in with me. I manage all her money, she has enough to spend and I make sure her bills are paid etc.

as I’m on my own my house is quite basic, I’ve not really spent money on it in years. Kids have moved out a while back.

mums house is on the market and we have had an offer for 550k (south east).

I am going to spend some of the money on my house- get a downstairs loo put in, refit the bathroom etc.

what would be an appropriate amount to spend? Can I go top of the range and get the whole hose redone, or must I stick to the basics to cover her needs? does anyone check up on these things? I am putting the rest away for care needs in the future.

i don’t have a very good relationship with my sister, could she argue that it’s her inheritance I’ve spent and dispute a will or anything?

Power of attorney is in the post but not granted yet.

Who was the "certificate provider" for your mum?

And if your DM develops care needs that can't be met in your home? That require her to be in care home? It's entirely possible. At which point the council would look at her finances. You can't just spend her money and expect no one to challenge it.

And your sister could report you to the office of public guardian if she thinks you're using DMs money for yourself. A big 200k extension on a house your DM doesn't own would be pretty dodgy ground.

The council would only look at her finances when she got down to 23k.

So it would be a gamble of if she outlived her savings if she did end up going into a care home (sorry, couldn’t find a less cold way to word it).

OP says there would be 4 ish years of care home fees left after the 200k, but lots of people outlive that sort of money in a care home, my dad has almost gone through all his £250k on care home fees, so we’ll be having financial assessments soon.

OP I don't know what your real motivations are here, but your posts sound to me like all you're seeing is pound signs in your eyes.

Can you go top of the range, can you do the whole house, they can't take your house off you if it was classed as deprivation of assets, building an extension, only you on POA because you think it makes more sense...

You seem to be thinking you can get a whole makeover of a house you admit you haven't done much to at your mother's expense.

First you contact SS. They can and do do a lot as PPs have explained, at no cost to you. Then IF there is something your mother needs that has to be paid for you do it at the time when it can be justified, not now in case it might be needed.

Think of it from your sister's point of view. Assuming the will splits the estate equally - when the time comes - then there is less for your sister while you are sitting on an extended, newly renovated house that will sell for a lot more than it would in its present condition. Which presumably you would regard as 'your' money.

Sounds grabby.

You literally said in an earlier post that you don’t think your mum has capacity to manage her money. So you’ve got her to sign a POA when she didn’t have capacity, to facilitate you spending £200k on your house then all the rest of her money on in home nursing care. Leaving your sister with nothing and no ability to act in your mum’s interests. You’d better hope those primary age children keep her so busy that she doesn’t look into protecting your mum.

What income do you have OP?

Why is that relevant?

Have you actually asked your mum if all this is what she wants @OMGidontbelieveit ? Only I can't see you've mentioned that.

This.

it’s no ones money or business but your mums what it’s spent on.

it’s not anyone’s inheritance!

Unless she doesn't have capacity to make her own decisions, then it really is the business of other people.

thank you.

I just have a feeling my sister will not be happy when she finds out.

The issue is it might cause OP problems in the future.

She said her mother cannot live alone anymore. She was asking about adaptations to the house.

Which reads as though her mother is heading towards needing care.

So of course, this will lead to issues in the future possibly around deprivation of assets if care is needed long term.

Take legal advice OP.

We have just been through several meetings about inheritance tax, deprivation of assets and gift with reservations, all of which would probably effect you if your mum sold up and started spending money on your property which could land you with a very big tax bill at the end of it. It is sickening because surely she should be able to spend her money on what she wants but it does get very complicated.

I'm not saying don't help your mum, just do your research and know exactly where you stand for when the time comes.

What safeguards are you putting into place to protect your Mum's investment in your house if anything happens to you before her?

Yes that could be a massive problem for your mum.

So you plan to use what could potentially be your sister’s inheritance whilst you benefit from a house that will be worth much more as a result of your DMs ‘gift’.
You sound like a money-grabbing selfish woman. I feel sorry for your mother.

That’s because you're financially abusing a vulnerable woman. This is illegal. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your sister involves the police.

If I were your sister I would be reporting you to social services and the court of protection.
your mother's money has to be spent for her benefit, not yours. A ground floor bedroom and bathroom extension will not cost anywhere near 200k but it will be much cheaper to add a wet room and stair lift.
You need an occupational therapist assessment before you make any alterations. They will advise on what may be needed for the future.
You will need to account for every penny of your mothers money that you spend and you can be prosecuted for misappropriation of funds

If you don't want to be seen to be looking as If you are taking advantage in your sisters eyes I would stop being defensive and get legal advice and a SS assessment.

Your sister can't help it that your the older one and she has small children. You come across as bitter and annoyed with her.

I would engage and get a report and then the evidence is there that adaptions made are beneficial to your mother. Not you.

Not if she isn’t deemed incompetent?

if she is allowing me to manage her money then that’s her decision, as pp have pointed out.

i don’t see what my sister can do. I don’t think my mum would fail a competency test but she doesn’t understand the consequences of her decisions and is easily swayed. I wouldn’t trust my sister not to talk her into splitting the money from the house, but that would leave no money for her care, so I can’t do that.

I don’t think my mum would fail a competency test but she doesn’t understand the consequences of her decisions and is easily swayed.

that’s rather contradictory…

To cover yourself you really really need legal advice and a mental capacity assessment. Your sister can’t persuade her to just split the money as that would also be considered as deprivation of assets.

It seems to me you know that what you are doing is wrong or at least has the potential to be and therefore you are avoiding any professional advice. If you are so sure it is all ok then get that confirmed by a lawyer/social services and give copies to your sister. She can take any advice she needs to as well.

Make sure you look at the financial side of it. My mum had her garage converted into a bedroom and shower room for my dad but he ended up not being able to move back home and had to go into a nursing home instead. If she hadn't done the garage conversion then the money (£15k) would have been counted as assets and would have affected the amount she had to pay for nursing home fees. She was worried that it would look like she was spending the money on home improvements to get away with lower fees when, in actual fact, it did look like he would be able to move back home at the time the conversion was done.

Indeed. Presumably you see the irony here OP.

This is outrageous what you are scheming. You’re arranging for your Mum to sell her home, gift you money to extend and refurbish your house - in case at some stage your mum has mobility issues (which she may have) and have done a DIY power of attorney to have full control of your Mum’s money.

In effect planning to spend your Mum’s money for your own gain, so your sister has no inheritance.