Dressing gown of doom

[peaceandpotato]

DH is wearing the dressing gown of doom. I was ill last week and all I got was "you'll be alright" so I'm just going to ignore the dressing gown of doom. But why. Why does it appear? I swear it makes it worse. It's like a coded message for "you're on your own with the kids don't ask me I'm wearing the dressing gown"

DM tried to buy one for DS at Christmas. Thankfully he is 5 and told her he didn’t want one.

Has anyone addressed the need to throw their germs around like confetti?

Whenever DH is sick he simply must visit every room and touch every surface in the house. Including opening and closing the fridge multiple times, taking out food, then putting it back as he is too poorly to eat it.

You've made my day, this is hilarious

@MeinKraft Brilliant. As your poor poor H is symptomless does that mean he's dying 24/7, then?!

@StarsSand Yes! That's how I've bloody ended up with Covid!

Partner didn't make even the slightest attempt to minimise my exposure once he tested positive. No mask wearing, was using my towels etc, coughing and sneezing all over me. Didn't even fucking occur to him to at least try.

So I sent him home. I'm now sat here with a temp of 38, agonising stomach pains and the whole plethora of covid symptoms thanking every deity ever that he's not here. If he was, I'd be using every last ounce of strength I have left to knee him in the nuts.

Hoodie of doom here too. Hood up, laid out on the sofa with a blanket and germy hands all over the remote 🤮. He can't possibly just go to bed/take tablets/be ill quietly.

He also has a cough and feels the need to thump his chest pathetically every time he coughs. It's honestly the most pitiful thing I've ever seen.

I asked him once if he still thumps his chest if no one is there to see it.. 🤔

Well don't leave us hanging @Shekissedagirlandshelikedit ... What was his reply? 😁

Dh doesn't have a Dressing Gown of Doom or a Hoodie of Sufferance - but whenever there is something wrong with him, I get regular and frequent updates on his condition - whether I want them or not.

Before Christmas he fell on the ice, walking the dogs, and wrenched his shoulder. It was a nasty wrench and caused him problems for weeks and weeks, but my sympathy dried up very quickly after the hundredth mention of 'The Shoulder' and how sore it was. And it is never "my shoulder/my cold/whatever" when he discusses his ailments - it is always THE shoulder, THE cold, as if no-one else in the world has a shoulder or a cold.

He took to coming into whatever room I was in, when he was putting on a jumper or a coat, and standing where I could see him and what an epic struggle it was to put it on - with the associated groaning and discussion of the current state of THE shoulder.

Ebola wins the thread 😂

@ImprobablePuffin

I'm the one with the symptomless husband. Sigh.

No, because symptomless cold days are different from ordinary symptomless days. They're differentiated at the outset by the lack of eye contact that's the first indicator that he's suffering in silence and 'trying not to bother me' with his very, very terrible (yet symptomless) illness. Sometimes he can make it up to a full 20 minutes before he breaks and announces the onset.

I will say, I envy those of you with partners with dressing gowns of doom. Mine does not own a dressing gown. Oh no. Instead, when struck down by this hideous malaise, he dons a sweatshirt he's owned since university and shorts, while complaining of terrible chills, banging up the thermostat and lighting the fires. When the rest of the family reaches the level of dropping ice cubes down their shirts and the dogs are supine and panting, I suggest, maybe sweatpants might be a good halfway measure, and he (re)explains his theory that bare legs don't affect body temperature.

It's fortunate that he's very lovely when not (symptomlessly) ill, and generally takes my offer to book him a flight to Dignitas with good grace.

@CertainUncertain ah sorry I tagged the wrong person.
Your posts really made me smile, I laughed at the thought of offering to get him to dignitas tout suite.

I don't often really laugh at stuff on MN, but this thread is hilarious, not to mention capturing certain near universalities of male illness.

@sianiboo
Sorry about the Covid. Hope you're better soon!

@NancyPickford
Mine was also brought up in an incredibly stoic, stiff upper lip environment, which I think he's trying to make up for now.

I assume everyone's seen this?

That video is fantastically accurate 😂

DH is suffering with a blood blister on the palm of his hand after doing some ever so manly DIY. Hand is almost unusable, apparently. But he's struggling through a day at work (sitting at a desk) like a champ.

He didn't say anything! He just looked at me with those sad eyes 🥺
He still does it so obviously didn't get the hint!

This is very funny
DH is rarely ill and he doesn't use the dressing gown of doom but ticks many of the other boxes.

• Initially refuses any sort of medication because he is going to "shrug it off" or thinks its better to "run its course".
• After a day of him sneezing, coughing (with only very part time attempts to cover nose or mouth) and adopting the penguin shuffle, I usually suggest more forcibly he takes some night nurse etc.
• having a cold means he is completely unable to find the bathroom cabinet let alone examine the contents, or buy any sort of remedy in a supermarket or chemist. He is also unable to read instructions of said medication once I have found it and given it to him.
• makes a big deal of not being able to eg make sandwiches for pack lunches, give any one a hug because "he doesn't want yo give his cold to anyone" even though the kids have had the cold just as badly for weeks already and not made a fuss

Oh god, poor lamb. 😷
And you let him live! 🤣🤣🤣

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Lol @ 'the' shoulder and 'the' cold. So good

My XP was like this. Loud, usually three at a time and he'd raise his hand so it was in the vicinity of his face - but never anything like close enough to contain the sneeze content. Just paying lip service to the concept.

Well karma got me for making fun of DH and his dressing gown. He is, of course, extremely unwell today. He says 'it's the worst ever.' It was so bad that he had to disappear upstairs and lie down this afternoon although he was miraculously able to get up once I'd put the baby to bed. He doesn't want to take too much medicine, obviously, because reasons.