Dressing gown of doom

[peaceandpotato]

DH is wearing the dressing gown of doom. I was ill last week and all I got was "you'll be alright" so I'm just going to ignore the dressing gown of doom. But why. Why does it appear? I swear it makes it worse. It's like a coded message for "you're on your own with the kids don't ask me I'm wearing the dressing gown"

Oh god yes! Something that could actually be life threatening- “ill? Me? No dear I’ll be absolutely fine”…. The slightest fucking sniffle and it’s DGOD and “my will’s in the top drawer love”

It’s always got a faint ‘doggy’ type smell too

Mine has a newish DGOD, the old one was bought for going to university. When he retired I decreed that it was time to replace it.

My friend had Covid recently, but her DH had Man-Covid. She said she had never seen someone so apparently ill who hadn't actually died. (He's fully jabbed and had a slightly sore throat and a sniffle for a couple of days, possibly a mild headache).

Has he done the slipper shlepp yet?

No sympathy or allowances made until painkillers and other appropriate medicines are being taken regularly!

That was EXH to a T.

the DGOD always seems to be grey. Accessorized by the Thin Voice of Tragedy And Despair, and Cloak of Martyrdom.

lots of words like ‘weak’ ‘temperature’ and ‘desperately ill’

you’ve got a fucking cold, you twat.

now The only dressing gown is mine, pink and fluffy and no doom 😁

That was EXH to a T.

the DGOD always seems to be grey. Accessorized by the Thin Voice of Tragedy And Despair, and Cloak of Martyrdom.

lots of words like ‘weak’ ‘temperature’ and ‘desperately ill’

you’ve got a fucking cold, you twat.

now The only dressing gown is mine, pink and fluffy and no doom 😁

That was EXH to a T.

the DGOD always seems to be grey. Accessorized by the Thin Voice of Tragedy And Despair, and Cloak of Martyrdom.

lots of words like ‘weak’ ‘temperature’ and ‘desperately ill’

you’ve got a fucking cold, you twat.

now The only dressing gown is mine, pink and fluffy and no doom 😁

My DH doesn't have a dressing gown or pjs or an Oodie 😂

Oops sorry for repeats

Oops sorry for repeats

Well this thread has made me howl.

DH has a DGOD, and Bereft pj Bottoms. Unlike many other DH's above, he will take meds. All of the meds. His bloody mother was a nurse and insists that anything remotely cold like should be prescribed antibiotics as it will turn into a chest infection, it drives me potty. Surely a woman who worked for the nhs for 35 sodding years should know better than that.

DS had a temp just before Xmas. Bog standard cold / virus that kids pick up. I had happened to speak to MIL one evening and mentioned it. She INSISTED that I call 111 and get a dr on the phone immediately. She was not impressed when I didn't. FWIW, calpol took the fever down.

DH recently had a vasectomy. CHRIST ALIVE you would have thought he had a limb amputated. I appreciate it was uncomfortable, but I do not think that an entire weeks worth of best rest was quite necessary. He actually had the gall to say 'you have no idea how much this hurts' - urrr, try being in labour for 26 hours, and then spending another ten days in hospital on morphine due to horrendous complications pal. I very nearly bashed him in the head with a frying pan.

Funny though that he felt well enough to attempt to get his leg over by day 5 of the 'recovery'.

Mine will stand in the middle of the room and say things like "Are you hot in here?"

"No."

Then adopts a querulous tone - "It must be me then. I'm feeling feverish."

Or - "I thought coffee might make my headache go away but it hasn't. I must be coming down with something."

He seizes hopefully onto anything that might suggest he's ill and need endless amounts of physical and mental support.

The kicker? He's a fucking GP!! You'd have thought he'd manage to assess himself whether or not he has a fever rather than loudly hinting to the whole room that if no one else was hot then it must be a sign of imminent disease 🙄

My DH has a cardigan of doom. A real, grey, shawl-necked, chunky rib-knit grandad job, which is older than the kids. (My DCs are student age).

My dh’s dgod has a hood which comes up in major sniffles. And his slippers are like knitted baby booties that kind of work their way down and round his feet which adds to the dismal shuffling effect. But as a pp pointed out it’s the injured lying on the sofa facing the back cushions which is the clincher. Please for the love of god just go to bed.

Cant even cope..take some fucking flu tablets get on with your day like we do!! Pisses me right off!!!

OMG the Peeping Bollock Shorts 😆 mine has these! They're underwear but they fail spectacularly at their one and only job

My DH’s weak spot is apparently his chest, so when he is ‘poorly’ he always gets this very specific Terrible Cough, with alternating use of the DGOD and the Hoodie of Sufferance, except when on work Teams calls. If I recorded the way he performs The Terrible Cough it would get me off in a murder trial, I swear. Very loud preparatory intake of breath, then this disgusting hacking that sounds like he’s going to throw up. Even the kids say ‘daddy why can’t you just cough normally?’ Also absolute refusal to proactively take any drugs until I have noticed the poorlyness and enquired as to his medication.

Mine doesn’t wear the DGOD, but he is a medical refuser and it drives me fucking mental.
Six months ago he hurt his knee. Over the period since he’s bought and tried several different knee braces. Some days he does shuffle and watching him go up and down stairs is just ridiculous. He will not see the doctor not take so much as an ibuprofen.
Last week, as he shuffled slowly, wincing, about 50 yards behind the rest of us on a day out, I lost my temper and told him he needed to either see the bloody GP or stop bloody moaning because I’d had enough. He has private medical insurance through work and could quite probably be seeing a physiotherapist within days.

His father was much the same. A ‘it’s but a mere scratch’ type outlook. There is no inbetween with men I reckon. It’s either full on doom or arm hanging off and “I’m fine”.

I don't live with DP, I live on my own, no family in the UK. DP works/lives in another city, not seen him for a couple of months (I was working abroad over Christmas). He came up on Saturday (was going to be for a week) he tested positive for Covid on Sunday. No headache, no fever, no sore throat, no aching limbs...just a slight cough and the occasional sneeze. He's had it twice before, both times completely asymptomatic.

Spent today acting like he's at death's door. Had to be told to medicate himself. The thing is, I had double pneumonia three months ago, had to spend a night in hospital, then a month stuck at home on high levels of antibiotics....there was never any question of him coming to see me. Since I got home from the job abroad, on Boxing Day, I've not left my flat . DP hasn't taken the slightest precaution to minimise the chances of me getting covid, even though he knows it could affect me badly (I've not had it before, I'm still in remission from cancer). I've been having to tell him to stop coughing all over me and to cover his mouth/nose. I finally lost my rag at 5pm and have sent him home.

Now I feel like the biggest bitch in the world for trying to protect my already compromised health. As amusing as it can be sometimes, grown men (my DP is in his 50s) acting like this really pisses me off.

Oh my God, this thread has absolutely made me howl. 😆 'Bimbling around the house' and the 'dressing gown smells like a hamster cage' type comments. I really genuinely just scared the cat, bursting out laughing.

Just like previous posters here, my husbands illnesses and colds and sore throats, etc are always about 15 to 20 times worse than mine, and he completely stops functioning. Like someone said earlier in the thread, we have to carry on as normal us women. Men, though they're at their deaths door when they have a cold. They can't plan anything as 'they don't know how they're going to be by next week' and they don't want to come out to the shops as they feel 'too weak.'

For some reason, I have had three sickness and diarrhoea viruses in the past 18 months..., one in July 2021, one in May 2022, and another one in the first half of January this year.

I was throwing up and pooping for the best part of two days, and was in agony. I didn't start feeling normal-ish for about 5 or 6 days, and I was quite ill.

DH said to me, 'why do you keep getting these sickness and diarrhoea viruses? I don't understand it. Why do you keep getting them? I never get these bouts of sickness and diarrhhoea!' It was an almost 'accusatory' tone, like I was doing on purpose or something. Also, he seemed quite irritated with me being ill. I didn't ask him for much... Just some water a few times. He just sighed and swanned out of the bedroom. It really pissed me off. I said 'For fuck's sake - I am not ill deliberately! I don't know why I have had it 3 times in 18 months! I am SO sorry to be an inconvenience!'

Anyway..... We sleep in separate rooms and have done for about 10 years because of his snoring. So, 3 or 4 nights after I'd fallen ill, three weeks ago, I could hear him vomiting during the night... severely and violently in the bathroom next to the little bedroom I sleep in. Five or six times in about 8 hours. And sorry not sorry... I was actually silently chuckling because he'd got it. After 8 hours of vomming, he had the poops and was groaning with agony. I thought, that'll fucking teach you to say, 'how come you always get it? I never get it. I never get it. Why do YOU?!' (And it will teach him for being irritated by me when I was ILL!)

Within about five days of me having it, I was back out for my usual three to four mile walk, doing the housework and washing and cooking and shopping, etc etc. AND I was working.

It's now been 2 and a half weeks since he had it, and he's still walking around with the slipper shuffle of sadness and the dressing gown of doom, clutching his stomach and his bowel area, saying 'I'm still in agony after all that throwing up and my arse still hurts from pooping. I don't know if I'll ever be normal again.' Slipper shuffle slipper shuffle dressing gown of doom doom DOOOOM!
Whinge, wince, sniffle, cough, whine whine whine..... YEP, for some reason, having a sick and poop bout has given him a sniffle and a cough.

He's actually just been eating soup and pot noodles and toast for the last two weeks because he 'can't eat anything else.' In fact, he doesn't know if he's ever going to be able to eat properly again. Bless his poor soul. Poor lamb. Waa waa waaaaah. He has had over 2 weeks off work!!! He 'may' go back Wednesday!

God, men are whingey pathetic articles these days aren't they? My dad/ grandad /uncles etc were never like this. WTF has happened to MEN? Most men born after around 1960 are just lame! As I say, all my male relatives born 1950s/1940s/1930s/1920s/1910s were nothing like this. NOTHING.

What a selfish dick he sounds!!!! Hope you avoid it but if you catch it absolutely his fault!! So annoyed on your behalf 🤬🤬🤬

@WalterWitty Do write down a Diary of Disasters!

My ExH was like Eeyore with hypochondria. Never dare suggest that you have a period pain, because he has a similar pain to match or go one better. I got so bloody fed up of his constant sickness, it felt like it was happening every day, so I started a Sickness Calendar, to diarise all his disasters with health over the year. I wrote in code, H for Headache, S for stomachache, K for knee, etc. I kept it up for a whole year. Every time he mentioned anything related to attention seeking about himself, it went on the calendar. Itching, zits he would mention, Al went on the calendar.
At the end of 12 months, as I was planning my escape, I presented him with the calendar and told him I had made an appointment with his GP and wanted him to take the calendar because he was so sickly and aching all the time he needed to find out why 🤣 he stopped moaning to be about his health after that.

My Husband now is amazing, just gets on with being ill. Even had miniscus surgery and never complained. He doesn’t own a dressing gown though so perhaps it cloaks a man in ancient habits when sick.

@Mammyloveswine Thank you so much! I'm sat here actually feeling a bit teary - a complete stranger has shown more freaking concern for my health than he has!

It didn't even occur to him that perhaps he should leave to try and minimise me getting it...his whole attitude was 'oh you've already been exposed to it, you will probably get it, it won't be any worse than a cold'... because it never has been for him! What makes it even worse is that he works in a health occupation...All he cared about was his sodding week off.

I got no sleep last night because of his coughing sneezing and snoring (he had the sense to sleep on the sofa). I'm worried sick I'm going to catch it.

.."died of the poorly.." 😂