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Original poster

Dressing gown of doom

144 replies

peaceandpotato · 30/01/2023 10:47

DH is wearing the dressing gown of doom. I was ill last week and all I got was "you'll be alright" so I'm just going to ignore the dressing gown of doom. But why. Why does it appear? I swear it makes it worse. It's like a coded message for "you're on your own with the kids don't ask me I'm wearing the dressing gown"

OP posts:
sianiboo · 31/01/2023 00:06

@Underminer My DP once tried to compete with my menopausal hot flushes. Seriously. He needed a new arse after I'd finished ripping his. As I tell my male gay best friend 'never have a relationship with a hypochondriac!'

Teaseall · 31/01/2023 00:21

NancyPickford · 30/01/2023 15:02

The volume of sneezes! It's horrendous, and there are usually multiple ones in each bout. I honestly fantasise about wielding a giant frying pan to the side of his head.
I, on the other hand, sneeze like a little sickly kitten saying 'cheese'. 😁

It was at this point that I knew I needed a divorce

WeegieWan · 31/01/2023 01:05

Men are never going to take meds when they're only slightly poorly because then they might actually feel better and that would deprive them of their God-given right to be fussed over by everyone else.

Or, if they feel poorly enough to actually consider taking something then it has to be the "good stuff'. Generic paracetamol or ibuprofen tablets aren't going to have any effect on them, oh no, it 'has' to be Nurofen or Panadol at 5 times the price (but exactly the same amount of analgesia) - and if there is anything even more expensively overpriced and bearing the words 'Max Strength', then that is what you have to buy them, because of course their mild cold terrible illness is that bad .

And don't get me started on the moaning sighing and spluttering involved in actually taking the damn things...

Nedmund · 31/01/2023 06:17

What annoys me most is DH's refusal to try to help himself when he's ill. Paracetamol? Nope. A hot drink? No. Steam inhalation? No. Not a damn thing.

I just can't feel any sympathy for it.

Flatandhappy · 31/01/2023 06:22

@Somethingsnappy wins with the poncho of petulance. I just spat my wine 😂

Wheretheskyisblue · 31/01/2023 06:24

I wish my DH wore a dressing gown of doom. He likes to walk around in his pants with a folded tissue tucked in the top at the same time moaning he is cold. I bought him a perfectly nice dressing gown but he refuses to wear it. The folded tissues are really annoying as they are scattered around the house in case he might need one. It is like a sick animal marking its terratory.

WalterWitty · 31/01/2023 07:45

@Underminer 😂 brilliant thanks

hryllilegur · 31/01/2023 07:54

My ex was like this. Most memorable was when he pathetically whimpering in bed (having refused to take any painkillers) and he insisted that he thought he had Ebola. It was during the big outbreak in west Africa several years ago.

I looked at him incredulously and pointed out that we live in northern England. Apparently working in a university made him high risk for catching it.

I told him to call me if he started bleeding from all his orifices and left him to his ‘Ebola’.

ForgottenNurseryRhymes · 31/01/2023 08:39

I keep coming back to this thread for a quick mood booster, the descriptives are on point!!

isthismylifenow · 31/01/2023 08:50

Wheretheskyisblue · 31/01/2023 06:24

I wish my DH wore a dressing gown of doom. He likes to walk around in his pants with a folded tissue tucked in the top at the same time moaning he is cold. I bought him a perfectly nice dressing gown but he refuses to wear it. The folded tissues are really annoying as they are scattered around the house in case he might need one. It is like a sick animal marking its terratory.

Oh gawd 🤣 a tissue tucked into his pants.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 31/01/2023 13:36

I'm heartily laughing and getting the Massive Ick all at the same time. 🤣🤣 I don't think my sex life would survive these kind of shenanigans.

MeinKraft · 31/01/2023 15:03

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 31/01/2023 13:36

I'm heartily laughing and getting the Massive Ick all at the same time. 🤣🤣 I don't think my sex life would survive these kind of shenanigans.

The next thread started by a bloke asking why his wife won't shag him (or as they would probably put it 'why won't my lady make love to me' because men are cringey when they try to be normal on here) I'm going to ask if he wears a grey dressing gown Grin

Kaathesnake · 31/01/2023 15:14

Oh yes…!
I am new to the concept, but the ‘Dressing Gown of Doom’ moved in when DP did in November.
Amd whoever said it has ‘a faint honk’ to it is so right!

I washed the bloody thing over Xmas, got it all soft and smelling lovely - he spent a day on the sofa snivelling into a tissue and watching war films and it stank of Vicks Vapour rub and ‘man’🤮

Yuk!

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 31/01/2023 15:50

isthismylifenow · 30/01/2023 13:15

My ds has a red gown, when he is wearing it for warmth, we call him 'Who, Hugh Hefner'. Sometimes shortened to Hoo Hoo.

He is partial to a migraine, and then there is when he is feeling stuffy and has a cold (just a cold):

during those times, of course it has to be 'Who, Flu Hefner.' Sometimes shortened to 'Hoo Floo'

Think I've just broken a rib howling 😂😂😂
Disclaimer-I am in bed

the80sweregreat · 31/01/2023 18:19

I'm more likely to be like this than my Dh who is a bit of a tough nut and rarely moans of his ill
I think that his mum being ill for many years has made him determined to be strong and shake it off. He a far from perfect, but if his ill he is pretty good about it all and nursed me with covid when he had it himself ( but not as bad as I did )
I have two dressing gowns of doom and a hoodie !

NancyPickford · 31/01/2023 18:36

Mine is incredibly stoic and was brought up in a "stiff upper lip" household, where the Best Medicine was just to ignore all ailments and just soldier on. If his head was hanging on by a thread he would still get up and go to work. However, the downside of this is a slight impatience if I don't want to Soldier On and god forbid phone in sick or have a lie in. However, he does happily bring tea, toast, lemsip and other medications upstairs, so I'm not going to kill him just yet (though the incredibly loud sneezes might just tip me over the edge).

DietCock · 31/01/2023 18:38

isthismylifenow · 30/01/2023 13:15

My ds has a red gown, when he is wearing it for warmth, we call him 'Who, Hugh Hefner'. Sometimes shortened to Hoo Hoo.

He is partial to a migraine, and then there is when he is feeling stuffy and has a cold (just a cold):

during those times, of course it has to be 'Who, Flu Hefner.' Sometimes shortened to 'Hoo Floo'

I'd want to be friends with you.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 31/01/2023 18:42

MeinKraft · 31/01/2023 15:03

The next thread started by a bloke asking why his wife won't shag him (or as they would probably put it 'why won't my lady make love to me' because men are cringey when they try to be normal on here) I'm going to ask if he wears a grey dressing gown Grin

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣🤣 pleeaase do that. 😁

Violinist64 · 31/01/2023 20:19

I have been creased in with laughter at many of these posts. So true, especially the not taking simple medication while simultaneously giving the stoic smile of pain and the weak, quivering voice. I have solved this by getting two paracetamol in my hand and a glass of water and standing over him while he takes them.
we had Covid in March, both of us fairly mildly, thankfully. DH went to bed for two days while I carried on teaching music lessons via Zoom until the exhaustion of Covid caught up with me and I could carry on no longer.
I think my favourite anecdote was when l was teaching two boys some years ago. Their father came to collect them and was snorting, snuffling and giving pained expressions while in the throes of a cold. His wife was one of our local GPs and l asked him what sympathy he had had from her. He replied:
”Less than zero. She just says: “pull yourself together, man!”” Wouldn’t we all like to say that at the approach of the Dressing Gown of Doom?

Original poster
peaceandpotato · 01/02/2023 17:17

Update.

First day without dressing gown today. A blanket has appeared though for WFH I can only assume that's because the DGOD isn't suitable for zoom calls.

I've snuck it in the wash - it hums.

OP posts:
MeinKraft · 01/02/2023 17:43

This reminds me, I have to wash DHs trainers while he's not looking

Underminer · 02/02/2023 00:50

Urgh is it still going on @peaceandpotato

motimacboatface · 02/02/2023 01:00

HighlandCowbag · 30/01/2023 21:27

Dh gets a crick in his neck when he is ill. I say ill but if anyone was as ill as he says he is they would have died of the poorly by now.

Bizarrely he has actually nearly died twice and carried on without much fuss until the ambulances carted him off. And neither time did he have his head at a weird angle.

Proper howled at this one 😂😂😂😂

MrsAvocet · 02/02/2023 01:04

The Dressing Gown of Doom is usually a precursor to the arrival of The Duvet of Death here. No, he can't actually bugger off and do his dying unobtrusively in bed can he, he has to bring the duvet downstairs.
I have another one who won't take medication because "it might mask something". Like what dearest, you have a cold, not peritonitis, and I'm suggesting 2 paracetamol, not heroin for goodness sake!

CertainUncertain · 02/02/2023 01:18

Most of you are with amateurs.

My DH actually found a very expensive consultant (charlatan) who ran a battery of very expensive (unnecessary) tests on him. And then sent him to an even more expensive consultant (clearly the first consultant's mate or cousin) who ran a plethora of even more expensive (unnecessary) tests and then diagnosed a rare (non-existent) very slight (non-existent) immune deficiency that means his (symptomless) colds are the very, very worst colds, albeit symptomless. So bad that no one with a symptomatic cold could possibly understand the hellishness of the symptomless cold, which is much, much worse, with much bigger chills and much worse hot flashes than the regular kind, and very easy to catch from any other member of the household. If he does manage a rare sneeze or cough (symptomless), it's always followed by a little gasping moan.

He is able to work efficiently from amid the sea of wadded tissues (unused because, symptomless) as long as he takes frequent breaks to ask me if he feels warm and also, what time is it? having been rendered unable to see his computer, phone or Apple Watch. And do we have any fresh orange juice, and we did, where would it be?