What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

Mixed size eggs are good value and perfectly fine

I have not read the whole thread but no, you are not doing anything wrong.

And people may give you all sorts of tips - which do help - but that’s not going to change the fact that there are basic things that need to get done to keep a household ticking over. Which take time.

i have been a lone parent for many years. I used to have a cleaner but can’t justify the cost at the moment. Also, having a cleaner for 3 hours don’t really deal with the issue.

i don’t iron, I don’t deep clean the bathroom every week. And yet I do spend a big chunk of the weekend on household chores.

Being a sole parent is so hard. That’s what’s you are ‘doing wrong’. I used to be an ironer but have stopped it when I could no longer physically manage it. We survived but I still have mounds of washing.

Also find it hard to engage my DCs and when they do it’s not equivalent to an adult helping.

stop ironing as much
heated airer/more tumble drying
become more slatternly /lower your standards - t

This will not last forever and you are doing amazingly well as a single parent raising three DC with FT paid work too 💐

You sound amazing! Doing it on your own with 3 children must be so hard.

I make use of time in the morning to do a few quick jobs. I often cook in the morning and put in slow cooker ready for tea (I do this at 6:30am).

Any free time in the week that I have I tidy. I try and see myself as not having as much time at the weekend as I want to do other things. It makes me more focused in the week.

Thankyou for all the replies.

I’m going to try reducing the spin on my machine. Everything comes out really crumpled so that’s probably why.
Use the dryer a bit more, or potentially go to the Launderette with a shed load of drying.
I will try every other day with shirts for youngest, but I think the other two need a clean one each day.

I don’t know that I can not iron at least the collars on the shirts, so maybe just the bits that show.
Online shop.

Doing some cleaning each night. The house seems to get trashed and dirty really quickly and I’m not sure why. I think because of a lack of space currently everything gets dumped, the kids have a tendency to put thing on the nearest surface, then when told to move it they find another surface to put it on.
Will tell the kids to do more, I agree they need to step up, at my eldest later age I could cook, iron and do the washing.

I really don’t have massive high standards, I just seem to have got very bogged down with what it takes to keep the house ticking over, on top of the kids having clubs etc.

I so SO hear what you are saying!
Designate one weekend day every fortnight to do something outside the house.
I find it helps ( and this sounds lame) to try to find pleasure in doing the things that make my home nice.
I have convinced myself after years of ironing that it is an old- fashioned thing and not done nowadays.
Body warmth makes most creases drop out - and if there is one single thing you can function without and save maximum time, its ironing.

Buy non iron shirts. (I don't iron anything).

Buy a supermarket shopping pass and get your groceries delivered. This also saves money as you only buy what you need.

Hi @Mybloodycat , I havent rtft but have read all your posts. I completely understand everything you're saying, I'm single with 2 DC 5 and 7. At the moment the washing is relentless. As you say, its not so much that there's a lot of it, but the drying is a nightmare. In the summer I could put a load or 2 on the line, and it would be dry in a couple of hours. Now it's hanging around the house for days. I decided not to use the dryer, but actually I'm thinking if doing a couple of loads a week (uniform) to help.

My house is a tip, and I'm in a constant battle with myself to either sort it out or have a chance to relax. I usually try a mish mash of both, which is a failure on both counts

Wrt uniform, my dc have polo's so easier, and I've given up ironing altogether. By the time they're at school you can't tell anyway. Although if the were at senior school I think they do need ironing.

I don't know what the answer is. More time probably!

Perhaps you need to need to allocate some time to decluttering or buy better storage.

With school uniform kids don't need lots of clothing that we it goes from being dried to being worn very quickly!

Being ruthless and having a tidier home really helps making it easier to keep clean. I'm not a naturally tidy person.

Teach the kids to put away after school - have a place for everything so their bags and shoes go straight there when they get in. Teach them to stack plates after dinner and eldest to wash up or load the dishwasher. Have a tidy up time- they’ll be used to that from school( search Mission Impossible countdown on YouTube) and do it regularly. Make sure it becomes habit that they put toys away when they’re finished. Before bed, straighten up the living room, ensure surfaces clear in kitchen. I find it’s these little things that make the difference.

I work full time too.

Spend no more time than two hours on a Saturday or Sunday morning catching up on the housework. You can get quite a bit done in two hours. At least the main bits.

I have priority bits of housework that I keep on top of during the week; antibac kitchen tops, bleach down loos, etc. Those only take a few mins. I also wash up dishes and put all away in the evening. Instantly makes the kitchen look tidier and again only a ten minute job. I also do a quick tidy up of living room before I go bed. Again five minute job but it's good to come down the next morning with that room tidy. Keep on top of those bits and come a weekend morning the house should be in a relatively decent state of affairs to just do a two hour catch up on a Saturday or Sunday morning with the rest such as hoovering, etc. I only hoover once a week tbh and that's downstairs. I rarely hoover upstairs. Only when it becomes obvious needed or if we have guests over, but even then I direct them to the downstairs loo so no need for anyone to go upstairs.

A wash load once a day (if needed). Try to not let the laundry basket get to overflowing stage...and defo no ironing. Just hang up straight out the tumble dryer. DH irons his work shirts but that's his choice and his responsibility.

I think you're busy all weekend because the kids don't help you clean. And you do all of the week's washing and all of the week's cooking. I have a clean house right now (we cleaned yesterday), clean bedding and no jobs to do today apart from cooking a meal for us all later on. (admittedly I should be doing the garden, touching up paintwork, sorting out the kitchen drawer, sorting out my tax, doing some work, doing some exercise, walking the dogs, sending my vinted parcel etc etc).

I wash each day - now probably 3/4 times a week, and cook each day. I usually try to pick meals that take 30 mins max to cook. My children also cook to take the load off me a bit.

Also if you can afford it, use your drier. It will remove the need to iron at all and mean that you have no washing hanging around the house.

I never understand how people spend so much time washing. Even when I had all my kids at home, we did one wash a day and maybe 2 on Friday (bed changing day).

They can tell but if you don't mind, then it doesn't matter 🤷‍♀️

They seem to help a lot already which is lovely.
Can you just give them very small but helpful jobs that they can do?

Drop the rope on school uniform stuff, never in my life have I had or heard DC discussion when school uniform is washed!

I’m a single parent to 2 DC ( but one with SEN).

Im exactly the same and have come to the conclusion that there isn’t much I can do about it. I don’t iron though! I do try and take a similar approach to Rocketicelollie apart from the daily wash - but perhaps that’s what I will try and start. I’m lucky to wfh 3 days a week and that has helped quite a bit so stay on top of the little things.

I also bought a dehumidifier which made a huge difference to how quickly clothes dry - but appreciate I am lucky to be able to afford this expense.

I agree it’s exhausting and soul destroying. I actually now try not to think about it too much as it’s so depressing thinking this is my life.

Re storage can you Google and Pinterest each available space.

Are you maximize space under bed/ on top of wardrobes/ alcoves...

Obviously IKEA has amazing space ideas! Cheap boxes, bags for clothes.
Do you sort summer and winter clothes?

Have you seen the vacuum pack bags...you wash and fold as Much in as possible then stick a hoover on it and it sucks it into a much smaller package!!

I'd look at all unusual areas including something I've done myself recently which has been a small but significant game changer....hooks on the backs of bedroom doors!

Usually people have one...I've got about 6 on each bedroom doors now all over it ..which has been hugely helpful and quite cheap and easy to do..

Hanging school bags...hats scarfs, coats, dressing gowns...etc etc.

Also really think weather clothes need washing so often. Only underwear and socks need to be worn once. Do you ever spot clean? If you try the mindset that washing damages clothes( and the planet )it may help.

Whether obvs

You need one day off a weekend to function. (Though I often do a wash as I have to keep it ticking over. And still cook)

Sod ironing things that don't matter. (Shirts are under jumpers or blazers and the creases will drop out as they wear them. ) ex got custody of the iron. After several months I thought I ought to buy a new one. I've bloody lost it in the flat somewhere and had to buy a new one for a funeral.

Cut back on cooking to simpler/quicker recipes if you can. (We had beans on toast for tea when kids were little)

I can't bear the thought of laundry everyday , constantly in the way.
I do all my laundry Sat am ,it's dried and put away in one go.
I'm usually doing other cleaning anyway.

I would hesitate making a teenager wear a shirt for more that one day. My dcs wore a clean shirt/blouse everyday. I washed every day. I do think it’s just how it is unless you are lucky enough to have help.

Yes perhaps the teenager is an exception if they sweat a lot. My DDs didn’t much until later so got away with a couple of days wear.

The kids need to do more and some standards need to drop, essentially.

My 5 year old loads the dishwasher, empties the dishwasher, puts laundry into the washer for me, goes round to get all the bins for me and other stuff. It's his house too and he's done little jobs since a toddler which was painfully slow but he can do it and does.

The eldest two especially could be cooking meals and doing all housework to a good standard unless ND.

Why would you say this? If OP feels it is, then it is? My 11 yo now needs a daily shirt, he runs around & despite deodorant is sweaty & would be smelly worn a second day.

Yes I’ve said older ones if sweaty but the youngest don’t.