What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

If there's not enough space then either get rid of stuff you don't need or get some more storage. Baskets or boxes with lids that you can just throw the DCs' toys/stuff into each night.
TOMM - the organised mum method - will help to give you a routine for tidying that lets you have weekends free.
Menu planning rather than bulk cooking will give you back some time at the weekends. Make a list of meals you can make in less than 30 mins then allocate them to different days.
As for the teen, tell them they need to tidy their room every Saturday or they lose their phone/hobby/etc. Mine have to empty their bin, tidy away anything that is lying about, hoover and dust/polish.

Give up the ironing. School shirts are under a jumper or blazer at this time of year. As soon as you give up ironing you stop noticing the creases! It’s true. If I start ironing again I end up ironing everything. Within a week or two of ironing I don’t notice them. Just don’t leave stuff piled in the laundry basket once dry. They kind of drop out anyway in the wardrobe and also clothes crease when you’re wearing them anyway.

Online shopping doesn’t have to be expensive, even click and collect would save you some time.
midweek deliveries are usually reasonably priced, I immediately go to offers when ordering and can find most things I need on there.
it might even save you money as well as time.

Just wanting to check you aren’t changing the kids’ pyjamas every night like someone I read on mumsnet! Would explain the quantity of laundry…. Also, how often changing beds? Do once a fortnight, not every week. Pillow cases every week

We only iron for weddings and funerals! Ditch the ironing!!

I am going to try to do a couple of online shops, maybe two big ones rather than going shopping each week.
We do need to declutter desperately, but that’s just a huge mountain on top of everything else at the moment, but yes it definitely needs doing.
Going to talk to the kids, who aren’t lazy but could help more, it’s mainly my fault because I can do things 4x faster than they do so I tend to do it, although today I made them tidy/dust/put washing on airer while I hoovered, so they do help, just not voluntarily and I have to remember to remind them that they need to do their jobs.
I would really like to get to a situation where I have Sunday off. I’m not even sure how I’ve ended up here if I am honest, I don’t have massively high standards but I just can’t seem to keep up and I seem to have made a rod for my own back.
I may go back to using my dryer, especially for dark stuff as we have a lot of that (I wear a lot of darks for work) and they take forever to dry, so that in itself would make life much easier.
We do have a lot of easy meals, I never used to batch cook, then I read somewhere (here probably!) that batch cooking would make life much easier and tbh it does once it’s done, I love getting the mix out for a spaghetti bolognaise or a bag of mash knowing it only needs to be warmed up, but I do not actually really enjoy doing it greatly,
I do use my slow cooker a fair bit too

Single working mum here too. Its hard work but you can make things easier on yourself.
Aldi do online shopping if your on a budget.
Double the quantity of meals in the week,so you are not having to batch cook at the weekend. You can freeze almost anything.
I only iron my kids shirts thats it. I do it on a Sunday, saturdays are for us to go and do something together.
Dependant on when you get paid, write a meal plan down along with shopping list and stick to it.
I agree with getting the kids involved. Even if its just keeping their rooms tidy or cleaning bath when they use it. I know it won't be up to your standard , but you're not superwoman- give yourself a break x

Also, we change PJs once a week usually, and beds are every 2-3 weeks.
I have such a volume of laundry because we have a lot of darker stuff which is thicker and tends to take forever to dry so everything else builds up whilst I’m waiting for it.
I do iron shirts and I iron some of my work stuff.

Get up an hour earlier

No advice but just to say I feel your pain - it’s being a single mum, there’s no let up.

I would just stop ironing though - as long as they have clean clothes who cares if they are ironed or not?! If the eldest cares they can iron their shirts for the week at the weekend. (Also poly cotton/easy iron etc).

Can you hang one of these over the stairs for drying? I use mine with a little meaco dehumidifier and it’s a total lifesaver (but we have a small flat with high ceilings so it’s best use of space) www.diy.com/departments/edwardian-victorian-clothes-airer-1-2m-4-lath-ceiling-pulley-horse-dryer-kitchen-rack/5060397630612_BQ.prd

As far as food is concerned I highly recommend the shoulder of pork that keeps on giving. I roast pork on a Sunday for lunch/dinner, then make sweet and sour pork and rice (add peppers, onions to bulk out) then Tuesday thick slices of meat (like chops) with mash and veg. Three meals from a £8 joint. If you struggle with time, consider cooking double the veg on a Sunday and frying as bubble and squeak with the left over meat instead of mash and veg. I also make a cottage pie or lasagna twice the size and that's 2 meals.

I've two very young kids so it's different but we are always out and about at the weekends doing cheap/free activities and I guess it's because our standards are pretty low for housework at the moment.

We definitely do no ironing. I think my iron has been used once since we moved house 3 years ago!

I used to specifically batch cook before having kids but now it's way easier to just double a lot of the meals that I'm already making in the week - I pick fairly quick meals usually

I usually do one load of laundry a day and we don't have a dryer, but have a heated airer to use in the colder months which is cheaper to run I believe. Couldn't have done without it since having the 2nd child!

Where you're going wrong is needing to do it solo. It's just not possible, even if you get up an hour earlier. You need to drop your standards as much as you feasibly can and get your kids to help as much as possible. Ironing can be the first thing to go - just hand them up to dry in the bathroom and the steam will deal with most of the creases. Don't beat yourself up - everyone always compares themselves to person a for one thing and person b for something else and misses that to do something really well both those people are doing something else worse.

In our house the 13yo cleans the front room and the 11yo the back room. We do kitchen and bathroom. Everyone does their own bedroom. When we started, the cleaning was awful but we lived with it. It's now much better.

13yo does own laundry and irons uniform - school, scouts and cadets (but polycotton school shirts make it much easier). The rest of us wear polo shirts and have no ironing. I've done 3 loads today and will do 1x clothes and 2x bedding/towels tomorrow.
today dh has been to the supermarket, I've run, done 3x washing, cleaned the bathroom, visited an elderly relative in a care home, been shopping in town, D's has done cleaning and we've had friends to dinner. Tomorrow will involve exercising Ds, gardening and working whilst last 3 loads of washing go through.
In the week, it helps that dh finishes work at 3.30 and he enjoys cooking. Kids come home, do homework, entertain themselves and we eat between 5.30 and 8 depending on what people are doing.

I think a combo of a good routine and some time-savers will help you.

Friday pm-wash, dry all school clothes and place on hangers with pants, socks
No ironing if you whip it out of the dryer.
Empty school bags

Sat am
All other laundry, I do not wash every day, it ends up everywhere.
Hang to dry, finish in TD.
Clean, music on., bins
Online shop and menu plan.
Deal with bills
Older DC responsible for all dishwasher load/ unloading daily.

That leaves Sat pm and all day Sunday free
During the week do a 15 minute whizz round wipes in the bathroom to do around basin and loo daily
Loo cleaner every night
I find if I set a limit , that I crack on rather than drag it out over the weekend.

Haven’t read all the replies but have you lowered the spin cycle on your washing machine, (eg change from 1400 to 800) and then give things a vigorous shake before hanging out to dry? This should remove the need to iron most things. Unless they’re smelly teenagers or shirts are visibly dirty then they only need a clean one every 2-3 days.

Instead of batch cooking why not use a slow cooker a couple of nights a week?

Can do all sorts. I chuck the ingredients in and turn it on low as I'm heading out the door so it's ready when we get in

We have easy risotto or pasta another night,jacket pots that can be done In a slow cooker with easy toppings, meat wraps are quick and easy. Just steam chicken breasts season then break up into wraps with salad another night.

You really don't need to hoover every day op

Get some good storage units off of marketplace with cubes so random stuff can be put away in them without you having to constantly tidy.

Have a ten minute tidy when you get in with the kids while teas doing and everyone help.

Hoover and polish on weekends. It really doesn't take long.

I do a wash around three times a week and stick it on an Airer or hang it on curtain rail above radiators and towels get out over radiators by each child as soon as they've used them. It then takes minutes to fold them and put away.

I anyibac wipe the loo and sink every evening when I get out of the shower. Again takes minutes and a squirt of bleach and it's done.

I take clothes off the airers and bung it in the dryer for a 10 min relax crease setting then hang the uniforms straight away while still warm from tumbler.

There's loads of things you can do to make it a lot quicker and a lot less pressure.

Iron the shirts damp and then hang them up.

I don't understand the having all the washing done by Sunday part? We just continually have loads of washing to do and just slowly slog through it across the week. Generally do more when home at the weekend of course but it's never 'done'. I also second the wearing of shirts again, though maybe a teenage boy that might be harder. Mine rewear theirs as long as they're not stained - winter is great as they keep their jumpers on all day!

I'm exactly the same. Saturdays are my busiest days, because of laundry. I now use a tumble dryer which helps so much as it eradicates the ironing! Honestly people I know who go out at the weekends, seem to have a pile of laundry, only ironing what they need that day.

You ask what you are doing wrong. IMO what you are doing wrong is putting a lot of emphasis on things that don't much matter.

Do children really need a freshly ironed clean shirt every single day? Most kids have the same shirt for at least two days and the same trousers for three days.
Can you really not get the non-iron version of school shirts straight from the washing machine, hang them on hangers in a warm room or near the radiator? Not as perfect as an ironed shirt but good enough, especially with a shirt or sweatshirt on top.

Have fun with your DC. They will appreciate that far more than you cleaning all weekend every weekend. Take them to exhibitions, for muddy walks and cycle rides, go swimming, fly kites, build bonfires, bug hotels, dens and snowmen. Go to a film or for a pizza. Or make pizzas at home with them and then pick a family film.

I used to clean the house for 1 hour on Saturdays (hoover, dust, polish, change bedding, empty bins) and for no more than30 mins any other day - 15 mins in the kitchen after dinner, 10 minute tidy and hoover of the living room, 5 minute bathroom loo clean, polish taps and rinse out the bath.

Set a timer for 5 mins and get your kids to tidy toys or wipe surfaces or sort out a washing load. Get them to do basic jobs like stripping their beds, laying the table, tidying up etc.

Every morning do one wash load: Sunday school shirts; Monday - sports wear; Tuesday - dark clothes; Wednesday - delicates; Thursday - towels, Friday - bedding, Saturday - anything else. Stick it on when you wake up, hang it out when you get in from work.

Family of 4 DC close in age and used washable nappies.

You absolutely need to wash laundry every other day so it has a chance to dry. So half way through the school week wash their darks and the other half get washed Friday night or Saturday.

We lowered the spin and hung stuff on hanger to dry so ironing not required. We only tumbled socks and pants and the kids sorted them and out their own away from being little.

The eldest can cook once a week and the younger ones wash up. You need a rota that following is non-negotiable.

You’re doing the job of two people. Go easy on yourself. The only way of making it easier is to lower a couple of standards - but that’s much easier said than done.

Maybe no consolation but my DH and I work FT (2 DC) and call our weekends ‘circuit breakers’. Much of which is spent washing, sorting, mending and cooking.

Do your kids even take their jumpers off at school at the moment?

It sounds normal to me tbh, weekends are exhausting!
Re the shirts, mine get a clean one each day or it's BO-tastic!
But the little one wears polo shirts and the big ones shirts go eight straight on hanger to dry, or 5 mins in tumble dryer to "iron" them. I iron nothing. They put school jumpers on over the top anyway!
Batch cooking kills me. And actually I find I can rustle up eg beans on toast even more quickly than i can reheat something that I prepared earlier and froze. So give yourself a break from that every now and again.
And never ever get a dog!