What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

Online food shop, clean bathroom of an evening when kids are getting ready for bed, hoover every other evening, put a wash on every other day, tend to iron if a weekend. Only do a big house clean every other weekend. Maybe make a rota for the older kids to help. My eldest is good at feeding pets/cleaning cages etc

I know so many are saying to lower standards when it comes to clean clothes and ironing, but I'm with the op on this.
My dc have a clean shirt every day. I lift then out of the washing machine and give them a quick iron whilst wet. They dry quicker and are crease free. So doing five minutes in the week saves ages at the weekend.
I agree with the slow cooker being great. I often buy reduced food but stick it straight in the freezer rather than feeling the need to batch cook.

You need 3 of everything,per child ,3 shirts ,3 skirts ,3 trousers ,
one in the wash ,one drying ,one being worn .
get a heated airer ,everything drys overnight on it
don’t overload the washing machine so things don’t come out creased
hang shirts on hangers on the airer ,won’t need ironing then.
get everything ready for school night before
get a rota going with daily jobs for the kids ,one lays the table ,one washes up ,one clears up
when u batch cook ,double up ,do 2 of each dish ,so ,2 pasta bakes ,2 cottage pies ect
then you only batch cook every other weekend.
combination ,of lowering your standards,re ironing and getting a bit more organised

Sounds like my weekends. I have no advice to offer, just solidarity.

I never iron. Anything.

Get your shopping delivered if you can. Quick online order from favourites each week.

Don't clean so much! My house is dirty though, not for everyone.

Ask the kids to muck in a bit - my son feeds the car every day, that's his job. Also lays table, etc.

Batch cooking is a good time saver so that's good.

sounds tough OP

Start using your tumble dryer.
Use it for the things like towels and jeans and PE/loungewear stuff - that’s a whole load out the way in one or two loads which is about £2. (£2 for your sanity is worth it). If you can afford chuck in the uniforms too as they’re usually quick drying.

Put on a washing load before you go to bed so it’s ready to hang early.
Get up before the kids - have your brekkie in peace and get a few bits done then.

You probs have a morning and evening routine but if you don’t, maybe try to start one. Having little routines strips time off. Get kiddos to unload dishwasher if you have one from night before or better still, run it straight after tea and unload before bed.

Declutter on a weekend ONE drawer/cupboard at a time and find a home for everything. Don’t buy tons of extra storage just to store stuff that you could sell/throw away. Just ask yourself, do I/the kids really need this? If no, chuck it.

Make the kids work for the wifi code - change it daily and say they can have it once their chores are done - harsh but smart 😂.

Could you get 10yr old or 14 yr old to help with 6 yr old spellings/reading?

If you vacuum a lot, you’ll need to dust less. Open your windows regularly to let out the dust fairies.

Bulk buy loo rolls and other bulk cleaning products /snacks etc on Amazon.
Yes it may not be all that ethical but you’ve got to think of the benefits and people who say they don’t shop on Amazon are fibbers 😂.

Rather than focussing on housework and ironing/cleaning before going out for some fun on weekends, swap it round. Book something or do something first and then worry about fitting in what you can with the house stuff. If you don’t clean the loo for a few extra days, you’re not all going to be swimming in mess.

If you wash your bedsheets weekly, swap to once every two weeks.

Get the kids to work together and bake some muffins or make a simple tea together to give you a break. Have more salads. Easy to prepare and make them like Buddha bowls so they visually excite the kids.
maybe sit with the kids once a week and decide what meals you’re going to have for each day.

Cheap and easy meals for tea….
Pancakes
Salads - varying protein source
Jacket potatoes scooped out with melted cheese and broccoli rebaked.
Large roast chicken, potatoes and veg.
Beans on toast with cauliflower cheese to fill it out
Sausage casserole - takes half an hour tops

sorry - went a bit crazy there 😂

Other people prioritise other things over cleaning and ironing.
I never iron anything . Maybe for a special occasion like a wedding or job interview.
Nobody cares if your kids have slightly stained school shirts, or if their uniforms are creased. Honestly.
You can clean the house once one day a week, and the rest of the week just do the dishwasher and a general wipe if there’s actual mess like a spillage.

It is about having a more enjoyable life, making time for yourself and for fun things.

You are amazing to do all this for 3 children, but you are important too x

Some suggestions

• use the dryer for bedding
• for washing on an airer - do you have a pedestal fan? If so blast it on the airer at top speed. Depending on the size of the airer it can oscillate but I find fixed better. If you have 2 fans, even better. IME will dry overnight.
• split the chores. From 15 i was washing for a family of 4 mid week. From about 8 we had to do the dishes every night. From 11 cook dinner for everyone once a week. The kids can vacuum and dust, clean the bathroom and kitchen etc Chores are part of growing up.

I was a single Mum juggling Uni and PT work when my eldest adult DC was 4.
We have 3 DC now. I currently work school hours 4 days a wk, mainly WFH with the occasional day in the office. Although, I sometimes have to work in excess of my contracted PT hours due to work pressures.

DH works long hours running two businesses (inclu. working at least 3 weekday evenings and a weekend morning at one business), does most of the AM school runs and some PM school runs, so he isn’t at home as much as I am to help run the household.

Laundry is bloody relentless.

Ditch the ironing. I fold or hang it all up and only iron an item when I need it, and only if it really needs ironing. I only use the tumble dryer for school shirts, polo shirts and sweaters to avoid having to iron them. I hang towels until they are slightly damp and then put them in the dryer so they come out soft and fluffy.

Our adult DD and our 11 yr old DD had to start ironing their own clothes inclu. school shirts and skirts as soon as they started Secondary School.
All DC have age appropriate household chores in order to receive their pocket money, even 8yr old DS.

If you have a garden or access to outside drying space, hang laundry outside before starting work/leaving home for work during the warmer months, so it’s all dry at the end of the day.

I could do with a Cleaner, but I’m a bit particular and would rather do it myself. Plus, I clean up as I go along as seeing mess build up over time would bother me. Leaving mess to build up until the Cleaner arrives would never work for me. I don’t allocate a specific day for cleaning. Quick run around with the vacuum cleaner as and when. All DC are responsible for vacuuming and tidying up their own bedrooms. I’ll check for built up dust around the edges of the youngest two DC’s bedroom carpets every now and then. Use vacuum cleaner with a soft brush attachment to remove dust from surfaces and then wipe with a damp cloth instead of using a duster, which only redistributes the dust and eventually settles elsewhere.
The big jobs, eg. internal window cleaning, oven cleaning get scheduled in the Calendar a few weeks/months beforehand, so I am able to muster up the head space and energy to do it. We use a Window Cleaner as and when for external windows. We inherited a Gardener as our garden is quite established and requires regular maintenance.

Keep meals simple during the week. Batch cook whenever possible. I wouldn’t spend the best part of any day batch cooking multiple meals. If possible, do time consuming food prep the day/night before. Create a weekly meal plan as being a few days ahead may help.

Do a big weekly online food shop, if your chosen food retailers provide a delivery service. Aldi and Lidl unfortunately do not.

We also have a no outdoor shoes in the house rule. We do not have any pets.

Sympathies but I would also suggest the primary kids don't need a clean shirt every day.

If you just put things in the dryer for 10 minutes it gets the creases out and then you can hang them after that. Also give things a really good shake when you hang them, This way you can avoid ironing.

1. Start using your dryer again, it won’t cost that much and your sanity will be saved.

2. New shirt every 2 days is fine unless they muck it up badly.

3. Consider getting up an hour earlier, stick wash on, go shower etc, wake children when you’re dressed, hang wash/put in dryer, sort kids for out.

4. Deploy the children, give them chores to do via rota on fridge in return for pocket money or a treat. Tell the 14 year old to get the finger out she is 4 years off adulthood and needs life skills. She should be doing the tea or batch cooking a few nights, some of laundry and cleaning too.

5. Check your benefit entitlement via turn2us, you could be entitled to more which could help you pay for help.

6. Clear out and sell things on Vinted/eBay or take to charity (14yr old could help here too).

7. Give yourself a break and a messy week here or there. The hoovering will still be there after, the time with your kids to make memories and for you to self care is important.

I have decluttered about 70% of clothes which means I have less laundry to do.

My standards are on the floor 😂 definitely no ironing of school uniforms and my house is often a mess. But life's too short to spend the weekends the way you do. Sorry

I find it better when I invest time in one off tasks that have a lasting difference. For example spend a day decluttering (ideally helped by the kids) and it will make it easier to clean, hopefully for a good length of time.

Could you afford to buy a heated drying rack? Argos have some as do Lakeland. They are cheaper than the tumble dryer and do work.

And I also stopped ironing school uniforms. They all get crumpled in five minutes anyway.

It might be interesting to check the cost of running a tumble dryer compared to hanging clothes on radiators then ironing. There may actually be very little difference but would give you more time. You definitely need to have your two older children do more. You say you batch cook and a couple of days you have beans on toast and a pasta night. How about getting them to make soup like lentil or potato soup and freeze. Nutritious and not difficult to learn how to do, could be making it whilst you are doing something else. Eggs are often missed as an easy thing to cook - eggy bread, omelettes, boil eggs for instance. Buy the value ones, makes a good cheap protein packed meal.

Just stop saying “I need a cleaning lady”
We earn over $150K and don’t have one.

What you need is to
Simplify activities,
Declutter your house
structure your day

Three children household- plan how many hobbies can you manage. Meals and routines can you simplify? Which of the kids can pack their own bags, hang they own clothes.
Weekends reserve few hours for family time/ Netflix.
Sunday night turn down all activities at 7pm Take a nice bath and then sleep early.

I know this might feel patronising but you can get hyper organised and keep your goal of finding time for yourself front and central

I'm a single parent of 2 kids and work ft. My kids would never cope with me doing housework all day at the weekend, plus they have parties and activities to go to so we are out a lot and the cleaning just doesn't really get done much. I load the dishwasher and try and run the hoover round occasionally. I iron my DDs shirts for senior school but nothing else and social services have not been called yet. If i was spending all day doing housework my DC would be climbing the walls.

Please don’t buy value eggs. More beans on toast would be better than that.

I iron the children’s uniforms too, but unlike you they would wear the same polo shirt all week, it works out three days, as two days they wear PE kit which is a different T-shirt and jumper. Every night I just hang it up and it lasts all week. Might be a bit different for a teen who will be smellier, but does your 6 year old need to wear a clean shirt every day???

I don’t think you want to iron less or clean less, or shop less. So I think you are stuck with your weekend!

Stop ironing kids stuff!

When it’s almost dry just tumble it for 10 mins, then take it out while hot and hang it up. Re school uniform, by the time they’ve got a blazer / cardigan / jumper/tie on you can only see a fraction of their shirts.

Do you have any spare time on a daily basis?
I do one load of washing a day and I alternate between clothes and other stuff such as bedsheets or towels, e.g Monday- darks, Tuesday towels this gives the clothes 2 days to dry on the airer as I place towels over the doors and banisters upstairs Wednesday colours Thursday bedsheets, same thing.
Then I'll do an area a day, my bedroom and bathroom Monday, kids bedrooms Tuesday, family bathroom and landing Wednesday, living area Thursday, kitchen Friday. Then I find that is I've not got some jobs done in the week I can just catch up on the missed ones at the weekend but at least it's not a top to bottom clean. To be clear, it's not a perfect clean, I'll focus on what's annoying me most, for example dust or putting clutter away etc, it will be a once over and a quick vacuum. This approach means you don't get that ahhhhh the whole house is clean because let's be honest, that's lasts barely a day and makes you want to cry. My approach is about maintenance, it's not perfect but it's presentable and someone could definitely pop over for a cuppa.
Ironing wise - when I have dry clothes, I sort them and put them away not ironed. Instead I'll pick outfits out in the evening for the next day and just iron that. It takes 10 minutes tops which I think it's much more manageable than hours of ironing at the weekend. Just thought I'd share my approach as it's worked for me for years and I always feel like I'm 15 minutes away from being able to have a visitor

Get a steamer iron, they cut through your ironing time amazingly.

I was like you then I stopped. I only iron uniform now or iron when it needs doing. It's liberating.

I iron nothing, I don’t buy clothes that need to be ironed if at all possible. Online shop for groceries. I batch cook as I go say Monday I make shepherds pie and have 3 portions to freeze, Tuesday chicken & brocolli bake another 3 portions to freeze, I try not to give a few hours over the weekend to batch cooking. Kids need to handle dishwasher fully. Take the time outdoors with kids don’t put it off for house stuff it’s not worth it.