Do you 'shout' at your children

[cantdecideforanother]

Just following on from a conversation with friends last night.

Do you shout at your children. Myself and DH don't really shout at dc (aged 7 and 10). I use other strategies and have never felt like I needed to shout and don't think it works but frilly I was made to feel like because I don't shout that I don't discipline them.

No. I yelp from time to time though! ‘DS! Noooo!’

But he is only two.

I do but wish I didn’t. I do when I feel really stressed and out of control, usually when we’re trying to leave the house.
I feel awful afterwards, I wouldn’t talk to anyone else in the same way.

I strive to be more like you @cantdecideforanother

Quite a lot yes, especially DS8. But sometimes that's what he needs to behave. Everyone's kids respond differently to different things. I don't there's a 'right' answer but I do get frustrated at kids that aren't disciplined at all.

I shout if warranted, I.e. they are about to injure themselves or someone else and I am a fair distance away. Mostly a stern look and a raised teacher voice does the trick though.

Sometimes. Mine are generally quite good though so it’s not really needed.

Yes I do, 5 and 8yr old boys who often bounce off the walls and go out of eachoyhers way to wind each other up

Myself and DH don't really shout at dc (aged 7 and 10

when you say you don't really shout I don't know what you mean, you either do or you don't 🙄

Yes I have and do shout at my kids if needed.

Yes I shout. I used to shout a lot more but I'm getting much better at keeping calm.

No, never have. DH did occasionally.

I never get what shouting is supposed to achieve.

I try not to shout AT them but find myself matching their volume trying to be heard over the screeming, crying and stomping.

No, it isn’t effective and once you start it becomes the norm so where do you go from there. There is no reason to shout at anyone, child or adult, there are better ways to communicate. My kids are now aged 19-29, I didn’t shout so they didn’t shout.

Very occasionally

No I try not to. Maybe has happened a couple of times but I know it’s better not to so don’t

Dh hasn’t pretty much

I have shouted at them in the past. I feel pretty crappy about it, I do think it's shit parenting. I havent shouted in ages and hope I never do again.

Not really but I did have to yesterday as we were leaving nursery, he was a few steps in front of me in the path and suddenly went to dart across the car park to his friend and there were cars all over the place. I will also on occasion raise my voice slightly if he's repeatedly not listening/tantrumming, so he can hear what the consequences will be if he carries on. He's 4

Being heard over the cacophony

This morning? Not yet

I do ( bad mother that I am) normally when trying to leave the house. We have plenty of time but if they don’t get dressed / have breakfast / brush teeth in a normal time frame then we are running late and that is stressful. They get on two separate buses one for primary/ one for secondary and I need to go to work right after.

I do wonder if I’ve actually accidentally trained them to ignore me asking nicely. Sort of like pressing a snooze button. Time to get up and dressed darling; here’s your school uniform, downstairs for breakfast. Ten minutes later call upstairs to hurry up. Another ten minute passes call upstairs again to be assured they are nearly ready. Ten minutes later go upstairs discover child in pants building lego. Shout threats downstairs two minutes or no screen time for a week. Amazingly they make it; apparently it only takes two minutes to get dressed after all 🤷‍♀️This doesn’t happen everyday but maybe once a week.

Shoes and coats are another issue. Right we have ten minutes shoes and coats on take bags to car. That way I get ten minutes just to whizz round, lights off, table wiped breakfast stuff in dishwasher. Generally this point of the morning leads to shouting. I try to find solutions. People losing shoes ok all shoes off in utility, wear slippers here are your new slippers. Eldest can not find school tie buy several spares hang them up on kitchen laundry rack. It’s like playing whack a mole. Fix a problem and a new one appears.

I genuinely would prefer not to shout but I so often fail.

Rarely. I'm not a shouty person generally, but occasionally (maybe once every couple of months) I lose my rag and yell.

Mine are teens btw.

I do but have cut down a lot, however you are very lucky if all your methods have worked without ever needing to!

No. I do swear a lot under my breath though 😂
I grew up with a shouty mum and we didn’t have a good relationship, I didn’t shout back and I was quite a nervous child.

I shouted DS' name angrily for the first time this week (he's 2y3m) and felt awful after. I'm 40 weeks pregnant and he had just thrown something for the 95th time, so it was part shock at the loud noise, but it's really something I don't want to do again.

No because my mum shouted at me so I really made sure that I didn't.

I will raise my voice like "right I've said shoes on, we are going now" but I don't consider that shouting. I think there is a difference