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Original poster

Do you 'shout' at your children

126 replies

cantdecideforanother · 28/01/2023 07:04

Just following on from a conversation with friends last night.

Do you shout at your children. Myself and DH don't really shout at dc (aged 7 and 10). I use other strategies and have never felt like I needed to shout and don't think it works but frilly I was made to feel like because I don't shout that I don't discipline them.

OP posts:

leithreas · 29/01/2023 20:02

santibaby · 28/01/2023 13:45

Boundaries are pushed. Tempers get frayed. You make up and learn and reconnect. Shouting isn't great but we're humans - we err and forgive and it's important our kids see us as fallible and essentially trying hard but not always getting it right.
I'd much rather that than have children who were so amenable and compliant that they never drove me to shout! Usually indicates kids who are too afraid to test the boundary and have been brought up to think any transgression is intolerable and unloveable. Not a good recipe for long term good mental health!

I was emotionally abused as a child, really quite severely so my children being safe, secure and happy at home has always been my no.1 priority. With my sons autism loud noises, shouting etc make him feel instantly unsafe so I have been very careful to provide him with a calm home where he knows he won't be made to feel that way. I'm not a shouty person anyway, probably because of my rough childhood, I'm just not programmed that way. Responding to my child testing boundaries by shouting and scaring ds wouldn't be a recipe for good long-term mental health for either of my children, if it works for your children though crack on.

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