Ioan Gruffudd/Alice Evans

[Notatallanamechange]

Don’t know if anyone has followed this, but she had an arrest warrant issued today for failing to appear in court for breaching a restraining order he has for domestic abuse. Their poor children seem like an afterthought.

I think the situation with the children is quite complex. I'm not sure it was as simple as taking them with him, during periods of contact the eldest in particular has repeatedly requested to return to her mother and AE had threatened to call the police on numerous occasions.

I think there probably have been missteps by IG when it comes to the children but I don't think it's a black and white situation. They are very enmeshed with AE (however unhealthily), perhaps therapists advised it wasn't advisable to remove them by force? That the relationship would be damaged? Perhaps when he originally left he hoped shared care would be possible once they were separated and when it became clear it wasn't it was too late? We just don't have enough detail so I think it's unfair to criticise too much.

Well basically he's gone and he's happy with his new girlfriend. Imagine how his daughters feel? When they arranged contact with the eldest he was bringing up Bianca, when he had not seen his daughter for months .A woman in this situation would most likely put the children first and would not be given an easy time of it if she chose that. Women don't leave their kids in DV situations then swan off with a new boyfriend.

Everything I've heard as to why he couldn't take the kids so far just sound like an excuse. He's as much their parent as Alice is and he isn't even going for full custody. You only have to read threads on here from women who move heaven and earth to get their kids away from similar situations and fight tooth and nail to prevent the father having contact going forward.

At some point, you're going to have to admit that he just doesn't want to have his kids full time. He's never going to put them before his new relationship. We've already seen evidence of that. Any woman who posted that she'd introduced a new man to her children in such a short period and had told her kids that she couldn't see them because of him, would have been torn to shreds on here, yet for some reason, Ioan gets a free pass and another list of how he should be able to live his best life.

It wouldn’t have been easy for him from a legal point of view either. If his children were unwilling to leave with him he couldn’t just physically haul them out the house kicking and screaming, likely with Alice joining in. He couldn’t deny them access to their mother, either. Not based on allegations that, on a societal level, are treated with heavy scepticism.

I wouldn’t judge a mother in the same situation, either. It’s not as simple as ‘just take the kids’, and when women on here are in a similar situation they are advised to get a shit hot lawyer and fight that way.

Brilliant points I've heard some responses he's suffered DV so he needs to take time with his mental health, he deserves a new relationship and happiness. Ok yes but his children who are powerless are stuck in the house with Alice, they can't just leave. What about his kids mental health and wellbeing ?

They were separated for a year before his relationship with Bianca was made public. We don't know how much the children knew before then.

Maybe he is a terrible father and has done it all wrong but there is a lot of context that we are not privy to that will have influenced his decision. He may have been following the professional advice he received.

I think it's unfair to make concrete assertions about someone (who we know was, and continues to be, a victim of domestic abuse) without knowing the detail. The evidence we do have (including from AE herself) suggests IG was a loving and involved parent. It's not straightforward.

They were separated for a year before his relationship with Bianca was made public

A year is nothing. Many women are advised on here not to get into a new relationship so soon after leaving a DA situation, let alone tell the children about it.

The evidence we do have (including from AE herself) suggests IG was a loving and involved parent

How many posts have you read on here about 'fantastic husbands' and 'loving dads' who suddenly turn into different people when they meet someone new? Nothing about his behaviour since leaving Alice says 'loving and involved parent' to me. A loving and involved parent wouldn't tell his kids he can't take them to a theme park because of his new girlfriend. There were several resolutions to that problem, many of which have been outlined on here, but it seems he couldn't bear to be away from Bianca for a few days. His kids shouldn't even know about Bianca at this stage, let alone be told that's she's the reason why they can't have a day out.

But how much do you actually know? Snippets from various sources. If he had been advised by a therapist that removing them from their mother would be damaging for them and he shouldn't do so should he still have done it? We don't know whether he made the decision he did for entirely selfish reasons or whether he was desperately trying to do the right thing, or a mixture of both.

The text about contact is a very limited snap shot without any context, I think it's unfair to extrapolate from that limited information that IG is definitely a rubbish dad who is prioritising his new relationship over his children. He may be/doing those things but no one can say that with certainty and I think it's unfair to assert a negative opinion based on limited information as an indisputable fact.

Also, as I understand it, AE told the children about BW and made numerous comments about it on social media (which her eldest child at least was able to access).

He posted a public post about BW - unless he has blocked his kids from Insta Alice would have had to tell them.

None of us are there or know the ins and outs of it. Even as snippets the texts to the eldest were bloody awful though. And they do tell us he couldn’t prioritise his kids over his new girlfriend. I do judge anyone who acts in that way).

I wont be speaking on the children in depth because I feel its baity, I applaud Ioan for keeping his distance and insisting they (specifically eldest child) undergo therapy before he spends any time with her 1 on 1.

Alice will never let up and one can only imagine what she has coached those kids to claim happened to them when they are in his custody.
The child even threatened to call CPS on her father for not paying for private school.

Yeah - I'd give that child a wide berth as well. Until all her moms poison has been washed out.
Also nobody's saying he won't provide. He will provide what is in his means. If that is 1000$, then that's all CM will be.

If they feel entitled to more, mommy deaeest should find a job.

He posted on SM because AE told the children about BW and threatened to weaponise it so IG and BW preempted that.

All of that is set out in the court documents.

I applaud Ioan for keeping his distance and insisting they (specifically eldest child) undergo therapy before he spends any time with her 1 on 1.

Yeah - I'd give that child a wide berth as well. Until all her moms poison has been washed out.

If they feel entitled to more…

This might be the ugliest and most batshit thing I have ever read or heard someone say about a relationship with their (12 year old) child.

If Ioan’s views mirror yours, then he is indeed a piece of a shit father.

He didn't need to be in a relationship at all. It's not mandatory. Then he wouldn't have have needed to post anything on SM. He doesn't 'deserve' to have a new girlfriend and there are other ways of finding happiness. Like maybe spending time with his kids or something? Just a thought.

@LoekMa as for your post - there are literally no words. Keep on defending him though. I'm sure he appreciates it and he'd love you slagging his child off like that, what with him being such a loving and supportive dad.

You don’t get to wash your hands of your own child because you don’t like that they are in pain and acting out.

Oh here we go definitely from tattle the slagging off the vulnerable teenage girl Vs a grown man gives it away. It doesn't matter , he's the adult , in fact the girl was asking for contact to go to a theme park he said no as his GF was vulnerable he hadn't seen his daughter for months , he could have stayed in a hotel and self isolated. If I hadn't seen my children in months I'd be so excited to see them. Yet Ioan and Bianca could go travelling on holidays when she was vulnerable ? You are so blinded by your hatred of Alice that you can't see he's a selfish dad. Those girls need unconditional love and support from their dad.

I’ve been on MN long enough to have seen plenty of women posting that their ex has kept their DC and refused to return them. As a parent you are not entitled to your children. Your children’s welfare is what is most important not what the parents want. When there is weaponising and emotional manipulation of the children to harm the other parent, the most rational decision is to lessen the harm to the kid by trying to remove some of the triggers and drama. Ioan is the trigger, he has backed off to lessen the impact whist going through the court process. This isn’t about what Ioan or Alice want, it’s about the kids and they are apparently choosing Alice. It’s for all the wrong reasons but this will take a long time to undo the enmeshing
there are hundreds and thousands and threads about Narc parents and how hard it is to escape them on these forums so I am pretty sure you are being disingenuous to make out like an emergency court order or swat team swoop in will just fix everything

This 👏👏👏

Vivi0 have you read the court docs posted upthread? Have a look at them - it might give you more of a nuanced view of the situation.

I wouldn’t judge a mother in the same situation, either. It’s not as simple as ‘just take the kids’, and when women on here are in a similar situation they are advised to get a shit hot lawyer and fight that way.

The women here nearly always do take the children with them when escaping abusive relationships.

They are from the tattle AE thread Ioan superfans. Where it's perfectly fine to insult a 12 year old in pain , they dislike the eldest daughter think she's too much like Alice. I hope none of them are parents it's pretty normal a 12 year old would act out in the middle of a toxic divorce with a unhinged mother and your disinterested __dad gets a new girlfriend.

I’m sure both kids are going to need therapy tbh but if he treats her as ‘that child’ then really that relationship is doomed. Hold old has she been when all this is going on? 12/13? It’s so young.

My point is that there are numerous possible rationale's behind IG's decision making. We don't know all the details and in my view, interpreting everything IG has done in the most negative way possible and then presenting it as fact is unfair.

Exactly writing her off at the age of 12, her own mother called her a bitch and told her to fuck off. Yet Ioan thinks it's fine not to try and see her whenever he can as Bianca is ill (convenient they can still go on holiday though). She needs unconditional love and support at the minute , she's going to have issues her two parents are selfish.