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Original poster

DH cannot get DS out the house!

114 replies

Mylittlesandwich · 23/01/2023 13:20

I am aware this is not my problem but it's really starting to annoy me more than it should.

The way we work childcare is that DH doesn't work Monday and Tuesday so he looks after DS while I work. I don't work 3 days while I look after DS and he goes to nursery 2 days a week while we both work.

DS has 2 wee clubs he goes to, one on one of my days and one on one of DHs days. This is now the 3rd week that DH has been unable to get out the door in time for this class to the point where I'm now going to cancel the class because it's just a waste of money and a space another child could use.

This class is in the afternoon and close to home, I have issues with timekeeping etc too but it's really bugging me that he can't do this one thing! DS enjoys the class but is a standard toddler and getting out the house isn't always easy.

OP posts:
Bemyclementine · 23/01/2023 13:23

He can do it, he's just not doing it.

Skinnermarink · 23/01/2023 13:24

‘Unable’ how? He needs to explain.

Clymene · 23/01/2023 13:26

Of course it's your problem. Your husband can't be bothered to take your child to a class he enjoys and which you're paying for.

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StaceySolomonSwash · 23/01/2023 13:34

Bemyclementine · 23/01/2023 13:23

He can do it, he's just not doing it.

This. If it was something he wanted to do, he'd manage it fine.

Anchorwanker · 23/01/2023 13:34

Bemyclementine · 23/01/2023 13:23

He can do it, he's just not doing it.

Yup. Unless some massive drip it's pathetic

ZenNudist · 23/01/2023 13:36

How old is ds? Why are you scheduling activities during your dhs time? I'd cancel and let dh set his own agenda.

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2023 13:36

Bemyclementine · 23/01/2023 13:23

He can do it, he's just not doing it.

This is what I came to say.

MichaelFabricantWig · 23/01/2023 13:39

Why can’t the useless bastard get himself and one child out of the house?

VivaVivaa · 23/01/2023 13:39

I mean, maybe your DH just doesn’t want to take him? If it’s his day off, then let him crack on with what he wants to do with DS. Assuming your DS is somewhere between the ages of 1 and 3, it’s not like he’s going to really miss out. I take my DS to organised activities on my day off, whereas DH much prefers to play it by ear and have less structure. Neither is wrong.

FlounderingFruitcake · 23/01/2023 13:39

Of course he should be able to manage to get out of the house on time, it’s not that hard. However, what classes/activities are booked should be decided by the parent responsible for childcare on that particular day. If your DH hates taking him to baby ballet or whatever then fair enough and he shouldn’t have to. Although that should be a conversation that happens before the child is enrolled for the term and fees are paid.

ThePear · 23/01/2023 13:39

‘Unable’ how? What plans does he have to facilitate being able to get his kid to future appointments? Has he explained to the child why the classes will no longer be happening and why? ‘Sorry, you’re not going anymore, because I’m incapable.’

RoseslnTheHospital · 23/01/2023 13:39

I agree with everyone else, it clearly isn't a priority for your DH. I would cancel it and tell him that he can organise activities for his days.

Having said that, it's a real shame that your DS isn't going to an activity that he enjoys just because your DH doesn't like to do that activity.

Original poster
Mylittlesandwich · 23/01/2023 13:41

"Unable" because I can't think of a better word. He does seem to try but never seems to get there. Today for example he was taking him to the loo 5 mins before they were supposed to be a 15 min walk away. So that obviously didn't happen.

The class was a joint decision, we were looking at a timetable of what was on when and we thought DS would enjoy it, it would also help develop some gross motor skills that could do with a bit of work but as it fell on DHs day we discussed it together before booking.

OP posts:
Laurdo · 23/01/2023 13:41

Yes it takes longer to get out the door with a toddler than without but you factor that in when getting ready to leave. The same as if you know there's roadworks on the way to work you'd leave a bit earlier.

Quite simply, he needs to get his shit together. It's not that difficult to get a toddler ready to go out. And it's an afternoon activity. Really no excuse.

It's a shame the kid is missing out on something he enjoys because his dad can't do the basics.

Aaron95 · 23/01/2023 13:43

He needs to allow more time to get him ready. Small kids can take an age to get shoes on, coat on, etc. compared to an adult. You have to be ready for that and allow extra time for it.

PizzaPastaWine · 23/01/2023 13:44

I'm guessing this isn't the only thing he is incapable of doing OP.

Sounds like you need to read the riot act because this will only get more infuriating and harder to live with.

Skinnermarink · 23/01/2023 13:45

My 16 month old was shimmying about doing what could have been Riverdance this morning as I was trying to get his shoes on. He bolted when I came at him with a coat and then took his hat off and put it in the toilet.

Standard. We still made our 10am activity because I started getting him ready way before we needed to leave. Your DH can do it, we all can, he just isn’t making the effort.

Thesearmsofmine · 23/01/2023 13:48

Is it a prepaid class or pay as you go? It sounds like DH doesn’t particularly want to go so doesn’t prioritise it. I would say maybe if he isn’t enjoying it then they could stop that so he can do other activities like the park or soft play.

FlounderingFruitcake · 23/01/2023 13:48

The class was a joint decision, we were looking at a timetable of what was on when and we thought DS would enjoy it, it would also help develop some gross motor skills that could do with a bit of work but as it fell on DHs day we discussed it together before booking.
Then there’s no excuse. Is he useless at other stuff or just this?

Needmorelego · 23/01/2023 13:52

As long as he is doing activities with your son at home then cancel the class leave him be.
It's winter. I don't want to go outside unless I really really have too.
I would much rather be indoors.

Skinnermarink · 23/01/2023 13:54

Needmorelego · 23/01/2023 13:52

As long as he is doing activities with your son at home then cancel the class leave him be.
It's winter. I don't want to go outside unless I really really have too.
I would much rather be indoors.

Well yes you might. Many toddlers need a bit more activity and stimulation than that.

larchforest · 23/01/2023 13:58

Yet another useless twat, and yet again people are suggesting it is the OP's fault / problem to sort out.

I despair of these numbskull dads and their strategic incompetence, I really do.

Original poster
Mylittlesandwich · 23/01/2023 13:58

FlounderingFruitcake · 23/01/2023 13:48

The class was a joint decision, we were looking at a timetable of what was on when and we thought DS would enjoy it, it would also help develop some gross motor skills that could do with a bit of work but as it fell on DHs day we discussed it together before booking.
Then there’s no excuse. Is he useless at other stuff or just this?

Honestly just this, he does his fair share of house related things. Probably slightly more really as I'm the only driver in the house so I do the big shop and anything further from home. Which I think is why I just can't get my head around this. If he was generally a useless lump then I would have no expectations of him.

OP posts:
CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 23/01/2023 14:01

Is he an eternal optimist and still thinking leaving the house is 15 minutes tops, when in reality is an hour?
He just needs a reality check and for the penny to drop with an almighty clang 😁

StrawberryMuffins · 23/01/2023 14:06

I think DH needs to decide whether to keep trying to get him there or leave it. I wonder if he is finding it quite difficult socially and finding excuses. Your toddler has plenty going on with his other class, nursery and stuff at home. If the goal is for toddler to work on gross motor skills, would your DH rather do this by taking him to this class or doing heavy work digging the garden, playing football in the park or whatever? Let him find his own way.

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