DH cannot get DS out the house!

[Mylittlesandwich]

I am aware this is not my problem but it's really starting to annoy me more than it should.

The way we work childcare is that DH doesn't work Monday and Tuesday so he looks after DS while I work. I don't work 3 days while I look after DS and he goes to nursery 2 days a week while we both work.

DS has 2 wee clubs he goes to, one on one of my days and one on one of DHs days. This is now the 3rd week that DH has been unable to get out the door in time for this class to the point where I'm now going to cancel the class because it's just a waste of money and a space another child could use.

This class is in the afternoon and close to home, I have issues with timekeeping etc too but it's really bugging me that he can't do this one thing! DS enjoys the class but is a standard toddler and getting out the house isn't always easy.

Skinnermarink · Today 13:45

We still made our 10am activity because I started getting him ready way before we needed to leave.

Is that not what every rational person, who has experience off toddlers, does?

Well yeah, that was my point 🤣

DH is terrible at this sort of thing too. If this is the one issue, I'd just drop he group. if DH wants him to go, he can then select an activity and a time that works for hi.

When DH was a SAHD, I'd often send him ideas but there were some things he just didn't want to do and some slots that just didn't work for him. Fair enough, as long as he wasn't sitting on his butt watching tv all day, no problem.

@Skinnermarink well yes all toddlers are different. Mine was quite happy on a cold winters day to be indoors doing Duplo, playing with cars, playdoh, random mess with crayons, sitting and listening to stories, dancing around to music, playing with trains and the 1001 other things that toddlers like.
If the Dad is doing that with his son then surely that's just as good as going to an organised activity?

I mean really, if he can't get him to a class in the afternoon, there's no hope really is there?

Honestly, this is utterly pathetic. I don't understand how some of you put up with this deliberate laziness and incompetence from an adult who is supposed to be your parenting partner.

I’d love a toddler like that 🤣 mine needs fresh air and a good wear out, like a spaniel.

Fucking useless.

For many women, this way divorce lies.

Not because of the class, obviously.

Because it is just impossible to have any respect for, and continue to be attracted to such an incompetent fool. It’s like being married to a young teenage boy.

It is really hard for a man to walk into a class full of generally women who are often clicky and unwelcoming.
Or the women are all over him like a rash because he is such a good dad for taking care of his own child.
find another activity that is for dads, cancel the class or switch your working days around

Suggest that he takes your DC out to the playground, shops or coffee beforehand and then heads straight to the class. Some people just struggle to get out of the house but when they're out, they're fine.

Tell him he needs to be there 30mins before.

Chances are if he’s 15mins late he’ll still be early.

Tell him if he’s late again this week then you’re going to cancel it.

Ah. Strategic incompetence at its finest.

You will cancel the class.

DS will be the only one who misses out.

And ‘D’H doesn’t have to bother his arse about something he doesn’t care about.

Massive win for incompetent husband. Big lose for DS - and you, in terms of long-term patterns being well and truly established.

Gosh you've made up an entire scenario in your head there!

Haha the hat in the toilet line made me laugh. I have one just a few months younger than yours and I can see this sort of behaviour on the horizon.

Hope the hat lived!

Oh come on. This is bullshit. Anyone organised gets ready earlier, leaves, walks to activity so as to arrive on time. It's not that hard.

Since he is the one not taking your dc to the activity, let him pay for it, not from family money but from his own.

Strategic incompetence. Despite the class being a joint decision, he doesn’t want to go so makes sure he doesn’t go

Why does this matter? Your DC is (presumably) well cared for and it hardly makes a difference whether he goes ti the class or not. Yes, I'm sure he enjoys the class, but he presumably enjoys other things as well. If DH is struggling/doesn't want to take the child to the class then just cancel it.

If this was a woman posting that her toddler was booked into a class and she was running late/couldn't be bothered that day I can guarantee that everyone would be telling her to cut herself some slack and it was really big deal whether she went or not.

Your DH works, therefore it can be inferred that he is capable of managing his time and keeping to some sort of schedule.

I’d bet he can’t be arsed with the toddler class and so just isn’t making the effort. You’re paying for it so it’s no loss to him. Of course, if he’s doing engaging, fun, stimulating things with your son then that’s good, but why let you pay for the class when he’s got no intention of going?

If I were you I’d feel like I had two kids. Men like that are chronic.

I agree. I’m shocked at the level of language being used towards the H when the OP clearly states in a follow up post he’s otherwise a good husband and dad, he just hasn’t got himself organised for this class. I thought MN was the first place to tell people that babies and toddlers don’t need organised activities and classes to be happy. If he doesn’t want to go just cancel it and let him find his own way on his day off. We all commit to things we realise down the line we probably shouldn’t have or didn’t actually want to.

Imagine a man coming on here and calling his wife a useless lump because he wants her to take their toddler to a class when he’s at work and she’s missed a few. Further imagine if he then disclosed she worked longer hours than him and did more round the house. I wonder if we’d all join in telling him she was lazy, incompetent, useless, and to get a divorce?

Some of you here need to have a look at yourselves.

Ooft imagine having more than one child 😀

Of course he can do it, he just doesn't want to.

I will not be divorcing DH over a toddler class 😂.

Its irritating but hardly the end of the world. DH himself suggested finding something else to do that is less time restricted on a Monday as in his words he never seems to get it together in time. We discussed that this was a good opportunity for gross motor development so he's going to come up with something else beneficial that can be done at whatever time of the day they're ready to go.

Was intrigued by the title of the thread after sitting on my hands for half an hour earlier while my eldest and dh between them faffed around so much that dc was at least 15 mins late for an after school activity! It was until recently my responsibility to get them there but I now work so it is up to DH and it drives me nuts - I have been trying to keep my mouth shut and let him find his own way but I did cave today and suggest he could maybe get a few things prepped in advance. He has been off and at home all day! Think on days like today both me and him wish I was working in the office!!

Brace yourself! He’s hilarious but it gets wearing, he never stops 😅 the hat was swiftly lobbed into the wash, thankfully he hasn’t worked out how to flush yet 🤣