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Original poster

Would you choose Doctor Assisted Suicide for yourself?

276 replies

MooseBreath · 23/01/2023 11:23

Hypothetically, would you wish to sign a waiver in early stages of dementia or an illness that would one day severely reduce cognitive function? Or what circumstances would you want Doctor Assisted Suicide, if any?

I was thinking about it and I would. I don't want to live in a world without recognising my loved ones or where I cannot remember to do basic things like go to the toilet, wash myself, or eat. At that stage, for me, quality of life would be too far gone.

Maybe signing early on with very clear boundaries on what I was able to do and understand. Kind of like in the book "Still Alice".

Inspired by the thread on euthanasia and MAiD. Not here to start a bunfight, not here to discuss whether or not euthanasia should be legal, not here to discuss the ramifications of MAiD.

Interested to hear people's thoughts on the matter, purely about themselves.

OP posts:
lemmein · 23/01/2023 18:39

*My dad screams for me.

He thinks I am a toddler and he’s lost me. He gets so distressed, even when I am there. He relives my mum dying too, even though it was 30 years ago. He sits by his bed, sobbing like he did next to her hospital bed.

He cries for his parents sometimes too.

I can’t bear it.*

@Iwantabloodypizza your poor dad Sad Honestly, I'm a bit of an emotional robot, nothing really bothers me - but even writing that post about that poor lady made me fill up a bit and I'd only met her briefly, I don't know her - it must be devastating to see somebody you love in that amount of distress. I'm sorry you and your family are going through it Flowers

I remember years ago losing my toddler very briefly in a shop and that panic, that overwhelming sense of fear, I can still feel it all these years later. So when I met that woman, that's all I could relate it to - being stuck in that brief moment I experienced years previously, but forever, with no resolution. Terrifying.

Most people support assisted dying; it's not as controversial as the reluctance to allow it would have you believe - so if most want it what's the problem? I don't understand. For those that don't want it, don't sign up for it.

Framilode · 23/01/2023 18:41

Yes, of course.

ScattyHattie · 23/01/2023 18:41

It's bizarre that for animals we say its humane to euthanise and cruel to prolong life in many circumstances yet offer no humane ending for humans. Not enough pain relief or removing support so basically starve to death.

Personally I'd like option to be euthanised whenever I feel like it. If make to old age I'd rather have option to spend lump sum pension to have a good few years then book in to die when get to that physical/mental decline which see's you vegetate away in a care home possibly years.

Echobelly · 23/01/2023 18:45

I absolutely would and I think we'll see more demand for allowing this as more and more people see their elderly parents spend their last few years suffering. If it's not made legal I wouldn't be surprised if older people ending their own lives becomes much more common as they seek to avoid a drawn-out end. I think people are starting to realise that often quality of life should take precedence over quantity.

2023bebetter · 23/01/2023 18:47

@BensonStabler

Very moving.

The point is no one on this planet should dictate to you or your family what you do with your body.

How can indeed dare anyone dictate that to you.

2023bebetter · 23/01/2023 18:51

I can't see a single benefit expect to people who make money out of this utter misery.

Even in the absolute best nursing homes it takes one bad member of staff,one bad manager for a hellish experience.

I remember when I was so naive and young at 17 watching staff happily take little treats from visiting relatives..." Please give this to mum at lunch she loves them". Staff put them in the fridge, staff go off duty and that food neevr gets passed on. That's one very small example of what happens.

Elphame · 23/01/2023 18:55

Yes absolutely.

I already have an advance directive in place saying that all life sustaining treatment be withdrawn (including artificial feeding) should I lose capacity to make my own decisions.

lemmein · 23/01/2023 18:57

@BensonStabler Flowers

You're quite right about the term assisted suicide. I've never thought about it before, and used the term myself in my post but you're right, I actually support assisted 'dying' not necessarily suicide. I think Drs should be able to give that final drug; it shouldn't be dependant on a patient being able to consume the drugs themselves.

I watched a programme years ago where a man went off to Switzerland to die. It was clear in the doc that he wasn't ready to go - but had to go earlier than he would like so he was still able to administer the drugs himself. He had to leave his family behind, go to a foreign country while he was still able - madness that people are driven to this.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 23/01/2023 19:06

I think I would.

A much loved and very very old (100+) family member did this in Canada quite recently. They weren't "ill", they'd just had enough. They had to have a mental capacity check (presumably this would be done much earlier for dementia cases?).

Gathered all their family (who were all on board), chatted and looked back on their wonderful life and I'm told it was quite lovely.

TeaMistress · 23/01/2023 19:37

We let our beloved pets go quietly and peacefully to a calm painless passing when the time comes, to free them from old age or illness and pain. We should afford people the same dignified end and not have to watch beloved family members suffering a lingering agonising death.

gravyriceandchips · 23/01/2023 19:41

I'm a no, but I'm lucky enough to not have seen dementia first hand.

If I had, I'd prob have a different opinion based on these replies.

ManyNameChanges · 23/01/2023 20:05

We should afford people the same dignified end and not have to watch beloved family members suffering a lingering agonising death.

@TeaMistress can you clarify
Do you think assisted suicide is good because family members won’t have to see the person ‘suffering’? So it’s there for their benefit.
or is it
that assisted suicide is fir the dignity of the person? Can you clarify what dignity means in that case?

Original poster
MooseBreath · 23/01/2023 20:10

For those suggesting suicide as an alternative, I don't think it's fair on family members who would find or have to deal with a body. Doctor Assisted Suicide would mean that there is no mess left behind. I agree that the term "Dying" is actually better!

OP posts:
ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 23/01/2023 20:13

ManyNameChanges · 23/01/2023 20:05

We should afford people the same dignified end and not have to watch beloved family members suffering a lingering agonising death.

@TeaMistress can you clarify
Do you think assisted suicide is good because family members won’t have to see the person ‘suffering’? So it’s there for their benefit.
or is it
that assisted suicide is fir the dignity of the person? Can you clarify what dignity means in that case?

Not TeaMistress but why can't it be both?

BIahBIahBIah · 23/01/2023 20:15

Yes, absolutely. No point being a burden. I'd rather my children be free of the stress, and use the money for living, rather than prolonging my demise.

slightlybonkersmum · 23/01/2023 20:16

100% yes not for my sake but for my family.

ManyNameChanges · 23/01/2023 20:17

@ChardonnaysBeastlyCat because no one should ever die to make their relatives more comfortable.
If they did chose a medical death then it should ONLY be for their own benefit.

Can you imagine what would happen otherwise? Oh I couldn’t bear to see him in a wheelchair/a colostomy bag for the rest of his life so better not to administer treatment and go down the route of assisted death…

(Both things have been told to me by relatives about my gran….)

Probablymagrat · 23/01/2023 20:19

Yes 100% I worked with people affected with dementia, and its a horrible way to go.

EveSix · 23/01/2023 20:19

Yes.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 23/01/2023 20:21

ManyNameChanges · 23/01/2023 20:17

@ChardonnaysBeastlyCat because no one should ever die to make their relatives more comfortable.
If they did chose a medical death then it should ONLY be for their own benefit.

Can you imagine what would happen otherwise? Oh I couldn’t bear to see him in a wheelchair/a colostomy bag for the rest of his life so better not to administer treatment and go down the route of assisted death…

(Both things have been told to me by relatives about my gran….)

No is saying they should. But for me keeping my dignity would mean my children or relatives not having to deal me suffering. So it's a win/win, the way I see it.

You are grasping at straws. No one is talking about compulsory AD when someone has a colostomy bag.

LangClegsInSpace · 23/01/2023 20:21

Would I sign an advance directive to allow my life to be legally ended in the future, at a time when I was no longer able to confirm my consent?

No.

I would not trust any government with that power but especially not this one.

AnekeSchuss · 23/01/2023 20:25

I’m not scared of death but the process of dying. Totally in favour of a dignified exit.

ClockingTime · 23/01/2023 20:27

Absolutely I would.

Seeingadistance · 23/01/2023 20:27

Absolutely!

TeaMistress · 23/01/2023 20:31

ManyNameChanges · 23/01/2023 20:05

We should afford people the same dignified end and not have to watch beloved family members suffering a lingering agonising death.

@TeaMistress can you clarify
Do you think assisted suicide is good because family members won’t have to see the person ‘suffering’? So it’s there for their benefit.
or is it
that assisted suicide is fir the dignity of the person? Can you clarify what dignity means in that case?

Having been through the awful horrifying experience of watching an elderly relative suffer an agonising and prolonged death that stripped away her dignity, autonomy and any semblance of quality of life, I would have done anything to spare her that suffering and take away her pain. I would want to spare anyone the agony of having to die like this and spare any other family from going through the same horror that I did.