Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Suggesting ears pinned back for teenager that hasn’t actually asked for surgery?

114 replies

Tmoto · 20/01/2023 22:28

14 yo ds. I know other kids comment as he has said they do. And my other dc have told me they have heard the comments. He seem relatively unbothered by it and shakes it off I think. But I still wonder if I should suggest surgery is an option. I believe it is relatively easy surgery and doing searches on mumsnet previous searches seem to always encourage it and say definitively do it it so worth it etc. if he was to ask me I would support his decision. But I am tending to not say anything unless he suggests it. Do you think this is the right approach? He is the sort of kid who doesn’t ask for things and I don’t want him suffering in silence.

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 20/01/2023 22:29

no! Do not suggest plastic surgery to a 14 year old boy!

Bestcatmum · 20/01/2023 22:30

Why not. My exH had ears like open taxi doors and it really affected his ife. If he open to it why not discuss.

TakeABite · 20/01/2023 22:31

I wouldn’t bring it up out of nowhere.
If he says again that kids have said something you could maybe ask if it bothers him enough to look into options, but definitely don’t raise the subject.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Children's health Families General health
XenoBitch · 20/01/2023 22:32

He is not suggesting it, so there is your answer.

Dacadactyl · 20/01/2023 22:33

I wouldn't bring it up. But if you have older children than him, ask if he's said anything to them about it.

Panpig · 20/01/2023 22:34

I had my ears pinned back when I was 14 actually and was always really happy I did have it done

Starcircle · 20/01/2023 22:35

Ooo tricky one. I think the next time it comes up I’d just casually explain the procedure and leave it to him to decide if he wants it. I’d see it a bit like having braces really! I remember a friend having it done in my school days

MargaretThursday · 20/01/2023 22:36

He may not have thought about it as an option.

I'd approach it along the lines of next time he mentions someone has commented, say that if he want, you could look into the possibility of ear pinning.
And take it from there.

He may look into it and decide he doesn't want it anyway.

WandaWonder · 20/01/2023 22:39

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

cigarettesNalcohol · 20/01/2023 23:06

Agree with previous poster, it's a bit like having braces. Sensitive subject though and you definitely don't want to risk making him feel self conscious so I'd say yes to suggesting it but need to hear your idea on HOW to do it I suppose.

Tamarindtree · 20/01/2023 23:37

I would never encourage a general anaesthetic for a cosmetic reason in case anything went wrong.

www.independent.co.uk/news/in-brief-girl-dies-after-plastic-surgery-1567912.html?amp

Princesspollyyy · 20/01/2023 23:42

Yes I would

MarmiteCoriander · 20/01/2023 23:47

TBH- I'm surprised you never considered the surgery when he was much, much younger. Has he always had longer hair covering the ears?

Obviously its his choice now, but he might be completely unaware that anything can be done! As he ages, head hair thins and ears become far more prominent- he might be grateful to have had the option to have it corrected when young. I think its the most common childhood surgery done- so far from rare. Look into before and after pics, give him the choice, adding the potential for infection/pain and let him decide for himself.

AlpineSnow · 21/01/2023 01:14

He's said kids comment on it so I think it's fine to offer it. As you say it's fairly minor surgery.

JarByTheDoor · 21/01/2023 01:25

Tamarindtree · 20/01/2023 23:37

I would never encourage a general anaesthetic for a cosmetic reason in case anything went wrong.

www.independent.co.uk/news/in-brief-girl-dies-after-plastic-surgery-1567912.html?amp

Ear pinning is usually done under a local, isn't it?

Sep200024 · 21/01/2023 01:29

It used to be a pretty standard thing to do much younger than 14.

I would bring it up in a way, such as “did you know there’s a procedure for ears? I saw an article about it the other day…..blah blah”, all very casually in passing conversation.

and then gauge his level of interest from there, before getting to the “would you be interested”, discussion.

ForestLilac · 21/01/2023 01:29

JarByTheDoor · 21/01/2023 01:25

Ear pinning is usually done under a local, isn't it?

Show quote history

I’ve seen it done under a GA but I’m not sure if it’s always done like that or not.

OP, does finance come into it? Is it free for him as a child but not as an adult?

JarByTheDoor · 21/01/2023 01:33

For very little kids I think they more often do it under a general anaesthetic, not so much at 14 IIRC?

Yogipineapple123 · 21/01/2023 01:36

As someone with large moles on my face that haven’t ever bothered me - yes please do!

It just seems silly to spend money on now but I know it’s possible and I’d be more attractive.

I like my face, but if it was free I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Easternext · 21/01/2023 01:58

He may not be suggesting it as he doesn't know its a thing! Talk to him about it tell him you think they are fine as they are but if he wants to then he can. I know my 14 year old has never heard off ear pinning.

FictionalCharacter · 21/01/2023 02:02

He might not have thought of it, and he might not seem bothered now, but it would be good to give him the opportunity. I wish my parents had got mine done when I was little. My ears are ridiculous and look worse than ever now I’m older. I really would have loved to look normal.

DaVariance · 21/01/2023 02:05

Getting your ears pinned back is completely normal and expected if they stick out

It's free from n the NHS for kids

Original poster
Tmoto · 21/01/2023 04:23

i think the nhs don’t cover it unless you have really bad case and can say affected badly by bullying. I guess they don’t look too bad to me. I feel like a bit of a bad mum now not sure what to do

OP posts:
Original poster
Tmoto · 21/01/2023 04:25

Looking online it can be done privately under local.
i kind of wonder if he could be teased for actually getting op though

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 21/01/2023 04:30

I would - he might not be aware that this can be fixed. You might think he is able to brush off bullying, but as a mum I'd say that kids don't brush off things like this. They just hide their feelings.

I kind of wonder if he could be teased for actually getting op though

Get it done at the beginning of the school holidays, so it isn't obvious to the kids at school . When he goes back, nobody will be any the wiser .