Why do you think the average age for FTMs is increasing?

[cardboardcandle]

Just that really.

Could it be because people feel they need everything in order first otherwise they’re not ready: large SUV/family car, pets, years of being child free with DH or DP? More savings? Bigger house?

Where I am, it’s extremely unusual to have DC before 25 and even under 30 is quite uncommon.

Also so hard to find a partner who wants to settle down and have kids with you! I was ready for kids late 20s. Didn’t manage it for 10 years due to lack of partner ready to settle down.

Because life's expensive, women want careers, people/couples in general want to travel etc before settling down with a mortgage, dating has changed drastically making it harder for some to find a serious partner.

More likely because we have the second highest childcare costs in the world plus housing is very expensive.

More like any house, never mind a bigger house.

It’s to do with education, which isn’t a bad thing.

Although nationally the age of first time mothers is rising, if you look at the correlation between income and first time motherhood, the lower the income (and level of education) the more likely a woman is to have her family young.

Personally I needed to wait until I'd been back in the NHS for a certain amount of time after taking a career break, so I would qualify for enhanced mat pay, so for us it was for financial reasons. Fell pregnant at 29.

What you said plus women want to progress to some level in careers, it's difficult to start climbing property ladder (never mind bigger house, it's hard to buy your first one), crappy men, fertility issues.

For me:

• Started a graduate job at 23 (4 year degree and a September birthday)
• Professional exams until I was 26
• saved to buy a house at 28
• married at 29
• covid
• moved jobs at 30 and wanted a few years of enjoying holidays after spending years studying alongside a full time job.
• waited to qualify for Mat leave at new job and just starting ttc now at 31, will be 32 when I have my first. (Hopefully).

Alongside all this wanting to be in a position where can pay for childcare and buy a family house in a few years time so have been saving very hard. If you don’t have savings / a plan re housing you are deemed ‘irresponsible’.

It boils down to career establishment and money.

We didn't physically have space in our rented one bed flat. Also it was on the third floor without a lift. It took us years to save for a house deposit while also paying rent. By the time we had enough for a house, I was 34 and husband 40.

I didn't meet him until I was 39

Prices - of childcare obviously, but also of EVERYTHING.

Harder to find a good person to procreate with perhaps.

I had my first at 25 7 years ago and there was NO ONE local my age with kids - all either 5/7 years younger or 5-7 years older.

There is no.one reason ,ideally I would have been ready to.have children around the ages 27/28however I was single for much of my 20,s and didn't meet my dh, un til l was 31,I had my boys when I was 33 and 36, ,as ' pp, say people are staying longer in education don't have an established career un till later
I live in a deprived area though ,and there are still quite a lot of young( early 20,s) mum's around near me .

Men think they can fuck around till they’re 40, which they can of course and then any half decent ones are quickly snapped up off whatever dating site they’re on.

Want to buy a bigger flat before having a baby so need to sell my flat and secure the new mortgage before maternity leave. Also need to qualify for maternity leave in new job that is able to cover childcare costs.

Didn’t meet “the one” until I was 36

I think getting all those things in order is very sensible

i find the threads on here where women have no career, children then their husband leaves really sad

I think it’s because we live longer.

Being an adult is delayed to 25, 35 seems a young adult, 50 is middle aged, late 60’s is retirement, an active 70’s and 80’s positively encouraged.

With this shift, costs have increased as people consume and want more “lifestyle” and the pressure to start a family early is less, despite the possible biological reality if you want a larger family of delaying to your 40’s being slim.

Women have choices, and are choosing to focus on careers over having children.

If we look back 20/30 years women had far fewer options so settling down was the done thing

Cost of living!
More people staying in education longer.

Empirically - cost of childcare, needing to save for maternity leave to bridge the gap, wanting to reach a certain seniority level before mat leave

Anecdotally - my friends who wanted DC in late twenties/early thirties were dicked around by men who wanted live in girlfriends for sex and cooking but didn’t want to settle down with kids and marriage. They knew they could always meet another, different twenty something in ten years.

We make middle class life expensive compared to previous generations. A property with a spare room for a baby, childcare to ensure you can keep your career going - realistically if you are going to uni then starting a career, saving a deposit and having reached a point in your career where paying for childcare and commuting costs won’t cost more than you earn - most woman won’t hit that before 28/29, many higher than that.

if house prices fell and childcare became free : heavily subsidised, many would feel ready to have a baby earlier.

I had my first child at 22 years old. 20 years ago that was really normal, I lived in London and was surrounded by a lot of people the same age as me or even younger having children. I felt really settled in comparison to some of them - I was so smug 🤔🙄😆- I had a good job, was doing a part time degree I could work around having a child and I had been with my dp for 5 years by that time. (Of course it all went to shit and he became an arsehole and I left him when she was 6 months old but that’s another story…!)

I am now mid 40s and have a much younger child and when people find out I have a nearly 20 year old they’re really shocked - not because I look particularly young (I’m haggard and riddled with health issues) but because where we live now and the time in which we live now people just don’t have babies that young. Things have definitely changed.

Not willing to let my children put up with the small house in the shit area that we were living in to save up for a nice house in a nice area.

Wanted to be married.

Needed secure jobs.

Oh you mean first time mums!

I thought you meant FTM - female to male transitioners who are typically around teenaged to twenties aged.

I guess first time mums nowadays don't have the same opportunities in homes to buy, they're stuck renting at an extortion, wages are lower than they've ever been.

The country is changing for the worse, and older mums with fewer children are a symptom.

Been with my husband for 13 years and we have now been trying for a year in our early thirties.

We were having fun, focusing on our careers and getting a house. But now we are ready to start our family.