Why do you think the average age for FTMs is increasing?

[cardboardcandle]

Just that really.

Could it be because people feel they need everything in order first otherwise they’re not ready: large SUV/family car, pets, years of being child free with DH or DP? More savings? Bigger house?

Where I am, it’s extremely unusual to have DC before 25 and even under 30 is quite uncommon.

I've just had my first at 28 which is the perfect age for me but I'm one of the first of my friends to have one. My gran said I was old 🤣. So a lot has changed in 2 generations.

Not one of my friends (30s, professionals, with babies/toddlers/KS1 children) drives an SUV. What an odd comment. Much more
likely to have a Passat or something.

And there is more to life than being a geriatric Mother too. 10 years would make you 37. I am 37 and I am far too old for kids now. Who'd want to be at the school gate at almost 50 🤮

@marble11 I'm at the school gate every day at aged 50. I don't even think about it. Why would I? Most of my DS's friends' parents are mid 40s, so hardly any difference.

Far less woman want to be sahm, so focus on careers first so they have a reasonable job to return too, and reasonable maternity pay.

@marble11 my partner is in his early 50s and we have a 6 year old - does that make you feel sick too? He does school drop offs and pick ups, is he inadvertently upsetting all the 30yr olds?

What happens at the school gate that’s vomit worthy?

There was too much I wanted to do before having a family - get a degree, build a career, travel... I also wanted to be married first.

Graduated uni @ 28

Met DH @ 30

Started my own business @ 31

Married @ 33

Had DC1 @ 35 and DC2 @ 37

Those were perfect timings for me. I'd done more or less everything I wanted to do as a carefree singleton, felt both emotionally and financially secure and was ready for the next stage come my mid-30's.

Whilst being 50 at the school gates isn’t that unusual, it’s not something I would relish. The school run is tedious even when your kids are in after school club for work purposes. I’ll finally be free of this at age 37 so a couple of more years to go. It’s not something I will miss …..however with a teen at secondary school now mentally I’m always hoping he’s got to school safely at certain times, so whilst I’m physically free in a sense, mentally I’m not 😂. Although he does have a tracker on his phone so I check around 3ish too whilst at work to see if he’s home safely. This year my DD starts in year 7 so I’ll no doubt worry about her too.

I think I was certainly guilty of thinking that a lot of the load would decrease in their adolescence and whilst physically that is true, mentally it’s an even bigger load worrying about them now and that is despite them being well adjusted etc. Last night the school ran a skiing trip information session and my sons head of year asked where his mother was. He definitely didn’t think it was me that’s for sure. I’m 34, but I look 30 (that’s Years of a lack of partying and sunshine I think 😉).

One day I’ll be free… maybe 😂. Motherhood is a long and arduous process no matter what age you decide to have them. Personally I think my cousin who is going to remain the best auntie in the world was onto something with that strategy 😉.

BUT not everyone gets a CHOICE! I didn’t find a man who wanted to ttc until I was mid-30s - not for want of trying! - ttc from 37, because it was the first time I could!

Well, it sounds like there’s awful judgy people like @marble11 there. Pretty vomit worthy!

Hmmm I’m not sure I’d assume all the above mentioned reasons though are pretty common

I had mine young and have found that the other stuff has fallen into place anyway after having them . Bought my house , studied , for a new career , earn more now . Not always easy though doing it that way round especially as a single parent ( me ) but still all worked out fine but I’m lucky I have parents support for childcare etc and my ex is a decent and involved dad

i think had I have waited for things to be right they may never have been tbh

the people I know who are currently pregnant or with young children who are older parents have actually been together for years but the number one reason they say was being financially ready am sure others have different reasons

Wanting a life before family.
Then delayed due to cost of housing and couldn't afford childcare. Got lucky and managed to get pregnant.