Why do you think the average age for FTMs is increasing?

[cardboardcandle]

Just that really.

Could it be because people feel they need everything in order first otherwise they’re not ready: large SUV/family car, pets, years of being child free with DH or DP? More savings? Bigger house?

Where I am, it’s extremely unusual to have DC before 25 and even under 30 is quite uncommon.

Btw had a kid at 35, DP was 42.

This is true…. I love having a 20 year old dd when I’m 42. I think it keeps me young really. I get to hear all the stuff they talk about, things they’re into etc. It’s lovely. We’re very close. But then my youngest (aged 10) is just as much fun and just as lovely in a different way.

I think you need to go back 20 years further than that for the women having fewer options ! In fact I would think there are less options today without free university education and with the cost of housing and child care .

Teenage pregnancies have reduced.

Long term reversible contraception more of an option.
Careers as mentioned.

I'd hope also because women have higher standards as to suitable men than they did say 10 or 20 years ago. Though sadly there are exceptions some of which are covered by other threads.

It’s not in any way the same choice, though. You’ve spent your 20s and 30s acquiring an education, establishing yourself professionally and, in my case, living and working in several different countries as I saw fit. By the time I had DS, I was senior enough to be able to manage my time very flexibly, as was DH, so we were both able to parent and work flexibly in ways that suited us, which meant that parenting didn’t involve financial or other sacrifice, particularly, and was easier than it would have been as a student or very junior in my field.

Housing being a big one here and childcare. Glad I got in there before it all went a bit crazy.

100 percent mortgage at 18 with a fairly standard admin job. 3 kids by the time I was 26, because I was broody as hell and didn’t want to wait until my 30s. Still happily married and now at 34 I have a 13, 11 and 8 year old. Just about to graduate from the OU 👩‍🎓.

Maybe I can chill in my 40s?

Cost of living. Needed to be able to afford a house (rent or mortgage), a car, and the childcare when I went back to work.

You can. And I hope you will. I’ll never regret doing it the way you did.

I was going to mention this one but @LlynTegid go there first: 'I'd hope also because women have higher standards as to suitable men than they did say 10 or 20 years ago.'

Whilst it took me a while to find a partner, I wanted someone with a great career, handsome, generous, with a lot of sexual chemistry, and who treats me very well.
In my case I wanted a lot and was happy to wait until my late 30s.

Simply put, because there is SO MUCH MORE to life these days. Why weigh yourself down with children when you are young and healthy and active and you can travel and work in an interesting job and learn things.

Kids are well hard, I have two. I am so glad I waited till I was 27 to have them. Right man right time.

I wanted to travel (alot!) and establish a career first, as well as be financially secure. I wanted to enjoy life and the freedom to do what I want. That all takes time.

It’s not in any way the same choice, though. You’ve spent your 20s and 30s acquiring an education, establishing yourself professionally and, in my case, living and working in several different countries as I saw fit. By the time I had DS, I was senior enough to be able to manage my time very flexibly, as was DH, so we were both able to parent and work flexibly in ways that suited us, which meant that parenting didn’t involve financial or other sacrifice, particularly, and was easier than it would have been as a student or very junior in my field.
@LiteralSycamore

Yes but you made the same choice to have children. My post was specifically about people who brag about how great their twenties were to make others feel bad. If their choice was so amazing and having a family is so shit- why did they do it at all?

Also don't think being senior is objectively better. I managed to achieve what I wanted to career wise. Never bothered me personally at all. I hate the idea that because you had a family thing you can't have an education/career, too. I spent my 20s establishing my career just like anyone else my age.

Speaking for myself, and also for the other parents I met at my university and I'm love in general- if you want a certain career or education you'll get it regardless of age.

27! You were very young imo.

I had mine at 21 and 26, would not change it for the world. I'm 30 now and absolutely love being a young mum.
I'm married, have graduated uni, have a good job as does my husband and own my home. We both drive, have two cars and are financially secure. Been on my dream holidays, last one was Lapland just a few weeks ago. I just did it with my two little ones in tow.
And me and my husband are still young enough to enjoy our lives when they're all grown up - win win 🙂

Who's to say you're not too young? You had another 10+ years you could have lived childfree. There's more to life than having kids at 27, right?

Haha, I suppose when you've a misspent youth 27 is fairly far on in life 😂

@fanjosaysi

I agree. We are all different. My cousin is my age and is a real high flyer and has made the decision to never have kids. She’s 34, why would she now want to saddle herself with kids after all her success and freedom? Kids are hard no matter what your age but I don’t always think it’s a great idea to delay the inevitable for too long. I mean having teenagers whilst going through the menopause sounds like one big massive drag. Mine will well into their 20s by that point and it will all be about me, me, me!

You win some and you lose some in this life but sometimes delaying kids can make some mothers feel like there’s nothing at all the ever look forward to other than old age, drudgery and the grind that is raising kids and teens and by the end of it you’re at retirement age!

swings and roundabouts

There is, but I met DH and couldn't get up the duff fast enough 😁

I did this, and also worked on my career ... was mortgage free at 37. Started trying at 36 and can now afford to be a SAHM

@Blossomtoes

Thank you, and I intend too. My career is going fab too, at 34 with those childcare years long, long behind me I’m actually an asset.

Cost of housing and childcare. No one can afford kids on normal wages anymore so have to wait longer to have them.

You are. And an increasingly attractive hire.

@MissWings absolutely. There's advantages and disadvantages at every age. Being older doesn't mean you can magically avoid all the difficult bits and breeze through.

Agree with this 💯 although to me as others have said 27 is still sooo young!

@fanjosaysi

Agreed. It’s not at all plain sailing just because you’ve waited. Particularly when your delightful children turn into teenagers and young adults and your last bit of freedom coincides with being a pensioner. Personally the only ones who have reason to gloat are the ones who remain child free forever 😉.