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Original poster

We're trapped in the house!

321 replies

Frequency · 15/01/2023 22:06

A hedge has fallen in front of the gate and we cannot get out of the front garden. And Amazon cannot get in to deliver the chain saw we ordered a couple of days ago when we noticed the hedge was starting to look a bit out of control and the branches were too thick for the hedge trimmer.

I'm thinking if we use the hedge trimmer on the smaller branches and try a normal saw on the thicker branches we might be able to get it small enough to climb over/through but we cannot start until it is light and it doesn't get light until after DD leaves for school.

I can't tell the school the truth can I? They won't believe DD cannot get to school because she can't get out of the front garden, will they?

OP posts:
Flameshame · 16/01/2023 00:42

It’s not really a drama. It’s a pretty banal occurrence. But whatever gets you excited eh

TimeToFlyNow · 16/01/2023 01:06

Just tell the school the truth and hopefully you can cut your way out tomorrow

GetThatHelmetOn · 16/01/2023 01:08

PriamFarrl · 15/01/2023 23:20

Why would she call 911? I’m assuming she’s not in America.

Show quote history

No wonder they never show up! 🤣

ok call 111!

LemonSwan · 16/01/2023 01:25

You don’t need a chainsaw for that. Saw and a pair of loppers will do it. You have any neighbours you can shout to? Someone will have a pair for sure,

MmaPreciousRamotswe · 16/01/2023 01:30

Have you no hand tools? None at all? No pruning saw? No ordinary wide tooth saw?

Eyerollcentral · 16/01/2023 01:32

I cannot believe you think this is an insurmountable obstacle. Pretty pathetic sorry OP

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 16/01/2023 01:47

Eyerollcentral · 16/01/2023 01:32

I cannot believe you think this is an insurmountable obstacle. Pretty pathetic sorry OP

But it is an unsurmountable obstacle, literally.

I don’t know why people are being so mean. This was what Mumsnet was made for surely, small domestic issues affecting the unlucky.

Eyerollcentral · 16/01/2023 01:53

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 16/01/2023 01:47

But it is an unsurmountable obstacle, literally.

I don’t know why people are being so mean. This was what Mumsnet was made for surely, small domestic issues affecting the unlucky.

Show quote history

There have been loads of sensible solutions offered to the OP. All are impossible apparently. I’ve had to take a door off it’s hinges to get out of a house when the lock failed and had to scale down two floors of a house in a foreign country when one of the party accidentally locked us on a roof terrace. I’m not Bear Grylls, I’m just an average woman. This is a prickly bush. Seems overly dramatic

QueenSmartypants · 16/01/2023 02:06

but I'm not going to ask DD to climb through thorny rose bushes for the sake of one morning at school

I dunno, one to tell the grandkids..."you kids don't know you're born! You should be grateful to be getting such a good education - I climbed throw THORNS to get to school!"

Original poster
Frequency · 16/01/2023 02:43

I'm not a keen gardener. I use shears or the hedge trimmer on the rose bushes when they start looking scraggly or too big. I've never cut them to half their size because I didn't know I was supposed to. They were there when I moved in. So was the bush/tree thingy.

We started off cutting it back with shears but then as it matured some of the branches were too thick to cut through with shears so we bought the hedge trimmer. Once it got too big for the hedge trimmer I attempted to employ a gardener. He was the one who told me I need a chainsaw. He was supposed to come back with his chainsaw but then he got sick.

We probably could get through the rose bushes or climb over the bush and escape. I'm just not sure why we would and risk getting scratched or tearing our clothes or falling when we can safely cut our way to freedom in daylight hours.

We have shears and the hedge trimmer we can use to cut back the smaller branches. Once they're out of the way we'll probably be able to climb under the bigger branches. I do have a handsaw and did attempt to saw some of the bigger branches once but it took 10 minutes just to get through one branch which is when I gave up and called the gardener.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 16/01/2023 02:48

Frequency · 16/01/2023 02:43

I'm not a keen gardener. I use shears or the hedge trimmer on the rose bushes when they start looking scraggly or too big. I've never cut them to half their size because I didn't know I was supposed to. They were there when I moved in. So was the bush/tree thingy.

We started off cutting it back with shears but then as it matured some of the branches were too thick to cut through with shears so we bought the hedge trimmer. Once it got too big for the hedge trimmer I attempted to employ a gardener. He was the one who told me I need a chainsaw. He was supposed to come back with his chainsaw but then he got sick.

We probably could get through the rose bushes or climb over the bush and escape. I'm just not sure why we would and risk getting scratched or tearing our clothes or falling when we can safely cut our way to freedom in daylight hours.

We have shears and the hedge trimmer we can use to cut back the smaller branches. Once they're out of the way we'll probably be able to climb under the bigger branches. I do have a handsaw and did attempt to saw some of the bigger branches once but it took 10 minutes just to get through one branch which is when I gave up and called the gardener.

Right…but now you are claiming to be stuck in your house when you clearly have all the tools to resolve that. You could have sorted this in max two hours today, barring any mobility issues. Was there really no one you could ring with a set of ladders to get over the fence to help you if you couldn’t do it yourself? Sorry again OP but I cannot believe with the kit you have at home you couldn’t resolve beyond the fact that you simply cba 🤷‍♀️

JudgeRudy · 16/01/2023 03:24

Frumpymumma · 15/01/2023 22:10

Take a pic as evidence for the school
Our back garden also doesn't have an exit
Call a tree surgeon

Yes, take a pic.......and share it with us. I can't imagine how you could genuinely be trapped inside your home. Which child do you plan eating first when you run out of food?

sashh · 16/01/2023 03:31

I'm totally not helping here but I think you should rent your garden out as an escape room.

Crinkled · 16/01/2023 03:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/01/2023 04:56

Please send child to school with a note:

"FrequencyJunior cannot come to school today, because my front bush needs a trim and has us trapped in the house'.

Or this has all happened for nought.

I would get a bloke and some blankets, apply blankets to bush, apply bloke to trample his way out over the top... thence, fetch cutty cutty choppy choppy tools... remove offending bush.

(This I would do because a power wheelchair is not great against abundant bushes, and have a bloke good at trampling. Feel free to substitute someone else).

garlictwist · 16/01/2023 04:58

This happened to me in my old house! First of all the steep steps to the front door were sheet ice and before we could sort them out, the next door neighbour's wall collapsed in front of them.

It was a back to back house so no back or side walls or doors and no window to climb out of.

We had to wait until the steps defrosted and the neighbours were home to dig us out.

Eyerollcentral · 16/01/2023 05:02

sashh · 16/01/2023 03:31

I'm totally not helping here but I think you should rent your garden out as an escape room.

Brilliant 🤣

Eyerollcentral · 16/01/2023 05:04

garlictwist · 16/01/2023 04:58

This happened to me in my old house! First of all the steep steps to the front door were sheet ice and before we could sort them out, the next door neighbour's wall collapsed in front of them.

It was a back to back house so no back or side walls or doors and no window to climb out of.

We had to wait until the steps defrosted and the neighbours were home to dig us out.

Come on your situation is much more serious. The OP says she is trapped because a bush fell over and her biggest worries are getting scratched or tearing their clothes! Your situation is like an episode of 999 waiting to happen!

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/01/2023 05:12

Can you order a flamethrower on Amazon.....

roundtable · 16/01/2023 05:15

Can it not be cut back a bit with your shears?

StarCourt · 16/01/2023 05:20

Escape room 😂🤣😂🤣

Untitledsquatboulder · 16/01/2023 05:24

Have you ever used a chainsaw OP? Are you also buying chainsaw trousers, gloves and a suitable helmet with face guard? They are not exactly toys.

Wheretheskyisblue · 16/01/2023 05:40

I am a bit worried about OP with a chainsaw given she can't handle a pair of garden sheers plus the ambulance service will not even be able to get in....

Crunchyb · 16/01/2023 06:31

Don’t call the fire service! What is wrong with people! You’d not be happy if they were delayed attending to a fire at your house because they were dealing with a non-emergency situation. If the worst comes to the worst she can employ a handyman or gardener to chop it up, but sympathetic neighbours are likely to step in rendering that unnecessary.

Theunamedcat · 16/01/2023 06:43

GetThatHelmetOn · 16/01/2023 01:08

No wonder they never show up! 🤣

ok call 111!

Show quote history

Why 111? She isn't sick?