We're trapped in the house!

[Frequency]

A hedge has fallen in front of the gate and we cannot get out of the front garden. And Amazon cannot get in to deliver the chain saw we ordered a couple of days ago when we noticed the hedge was starting to look a bit out of control and the branches were too thick for the hedge trimmer.

I'm thinking if we use the hedge trimmer on the smaller branches and try a normal saw on the thicker branches we might be able to get it small enough to climb over/through but we cannot start until it is light and it doesn't get light until after DD leaves for school.

I can't tell the school the truth can I? They won't believe DD cannot get to school because she can't get out of the front garden, will they?

I thought a bit of a hedge had fallen over, not a tree? Was it a huge tree? A bush? A hedge? If I tree fell on my house I might be worried, but a bush or part of a hedge falling over, especially rose bushes, wouldn't worry me. I'd go out with a pair of kitchen scissors if that's all I had, and hack away. I think some of us are wondering how a bit of hedge can totally block any adult from exiting their garden. From what we saw in the photos, there really wasn't a lot of branches/foliage at all. I deal with similar things all the time because we are surrounded by trees, so I'm genuinely puzzled that any adult could be so poleaxed by a bit of foliage?

In my day we had to walk barefoot through the shrapnel of war to get to the local schoolhouse. Our teachers would welcome us on arrival with warm greetings and bandages for our shredded feet

Sometimes we lost toes on the way, but that was good for subtraction lessons in maths

🤣

@HeartBrokenWife IDK how big your kitchen scissors are but mine are just regular kitchen scissors. They're pretty good at cutting pizza and the fat off bacon but if I'd used them instead of the handsaw we'd still be trapped today.

I actually don't know whether it is a bush/hedge or a tree. It started off looking like a nice, pretty bush and then each year it grew taller and taller and wider and wider until it looked more like a tree. A nice tree, but not the kind of tree one would willingly plant next to their only exit. Maybe if I'd known what the end plan was with the steel cable I'd have been able to keep the sodding thing under control but I didn't.

Ha ha, gotta love the four Yorkshiremen sketch!

Honestly, though any sort of blade - scissors, a nail file, penknife would have been my first thought. I'd have had to tackle the problem with whatever was to hand. Kudos to you that you thought of a chainsaw, but as everyone has pointed out they are way too dangerous, unless you get one with chain guard. I have one of those to cut up our fallen trees, but I still use safety gear with it.

Do you know what sort of tree/hedge/bush it was? I'm genuinely curious as to how it managed to keep you and your daughter captive. Couldn't you shove your way through it at all? Clamber over it? Was it really tall or did it have mega prickly leaves? Big thorns?

Did you actually read the thread or are you just here for the pile-on?

I did use what I had to hand, which happened to be a handsaw and some gardening shears. As soon it was daylight and safe/convenient to do so. IDK about you but climbing step ladders equipped with any kind of blade at night, in high winds, and without proper lighting, is not top of my to-do list when it comes to staying alive.

As I said some of the branches were 4/5 inches thick. If you think you could have made a dent in those with kitchen scissors or a nail file, please, give me your number. I have plenty more things in the garden which need pruning during the summer months. I'll even supply the nail files.

Were you Pobbles?

Erm, yes, I think I could have dealt with the problem because I've dealt with far worse. There again, you may well be able to cope with other problems that would defeat me. I really was curious as to what type of hedge could cause such problems, but I guess I'll never find out.

Like I keep saying, IDK what it is. It has 5 or 6 main 'trunks' approximately 10 inches in diameter. Off that branches, around 4/5 inches thick grow outwards and upwards and lots of smaller, twiggy branches grow off those. It's very dense and about 7/8 foot high, even though we keep cutting the top off it every month in summer it still grows taller each year.

It flowers with small, pink flowers in the summer and grows like wildfire, to the point where we were having to cut it back every 3/4 days last summer to keep the path clear which is why I wanted the bloody thing cut down this year but the man I hired to do it said he needed to come back with his chainsaw and then he got sick and canceled.

Thank you for the description. I'm a keen gardener but I've no idea what it might be. Usually, flowering plants that grow very quickly aren't so stocky or dense. I remain intrigued and would love an update if you ever do find out what it is/was,

I have no doubt that the bastard thing will come back bigger and stronger than ever before and continue to be the bane of my existence this summer. The more we cut it, the more it wants to grow.

If it's any help, I think it might be a tree that has been trained to grow at odd angles with the use of steel cable, like the pear tree. I'm sure the person who planted it had some kind of wonderful plan for it but I have neither the time, knowledge or patience to train trees. I have enough on my plate training myself and the dogs.

If I remember I will take a photograph of it when it flowers and PM you. Otherwise message me to remind me around August time. That's it's peak growth time.

post a picture of its leaves here, and someone will identify it for you

It stays green year round but looses a lot of density leaf-wise in the winter and flowers with small pink flowers in summer. When we first moved in it was short and bushy and only took up one-third of the flower bed/fence. Five years later it's woody/trunky at the base and dense at the top and has spread along the entire fence killing/overpowering everything else that was growing.

I believe its sole purpose in life is to destroy me mentally. It probably originates from the depths of hell itself.

can you show us just a couple of leaves really clearly? going out now, but will look again later

Thanks Frequency. I can’t really see what it might be from the photo. If you really wanted to put us curious ones out of our misery you could use an app to take a photo and identify the wretched bush in the daylight 😆

I've cut it all down now but there's probably a few small branches left on the grass. I'll have a look tomorrow if I get time. I did use an app once but it came up with something that looked nothing like what was growing in my garden.

Really, all I want is to know how to make it short and bushy again and if I can't make it short and bushy how can I get rid of it and what can I put in its place that is short and bushy and will stay short and bushy with very little input from me.

Looks as if the front garden needs a complete clear out. Nice railings and fence but all the rest looks a mess. I'm sure it would look nicer with all that mess gone and moss on path cleaned.

Omg this thread! It gets more surreal every time click on it 🤦‍♀️

Sounds like clematis Montana. Its a very fairytale looking plant, very appropriate!

There are people on here who really need to consider getting off the internet and getting some real life hobbies to occupy their time.

If they are so nasty and dictatorial and obsessed with people not doing exactly what they expect in real life, they possibly need some help.

What on Earth has happened to people on here.

It mustve looked stunning in summer but it can be a beast. Pleased you've managed to defeat it! 😅