Annoying Mumsnet Phrases

[TheShellBeach]

Such as "Give my head a wobble" and "Holibobs", neither of which I have ever heard IRL.

I thought the D thing was practically compulsory. Always feel a bit strange writing the actual word, but can't bring myself to put DH or suchlike.
I will admit to posting advice that might be considered by others to be patronising, but if someone comes on asking for advice about weaning a three month old baby, I'm not going to keep quiet!

"I say this gently...". Usually followed by some very un-gentle sentiment. "I say this gently OP, but you are a massive twat. You are a dreadful parent, your children look like feral mongeese, your house is an unmitigated shit pit and your DH should LTB".

I've never seen holibobs used on here apart from on hated phrases threads. If there weren't threads like this we'd never have to hear it again.

"Talk me down" - one I've noticed recently that really annoys me. Used when a poster is about to do something stupid and they know it, but need others to tell them not to all the same.

It gives the impression that by their own admission, the OP is a silly out of control woman who needs a stern talking to.

Agree with -

You do you
Pearl clutching
Calling anyone love/lovey/sweetheart etc
The ick- whatever that is

Holibons/famalam seems to have largely died out both on here and in RL thankfully.

Get your ducks in a row.
Give your head a wobble.
Lovey.

I must admit that pearl clutching always makes me smile and I have used it ironically in real life.

The only time that's been used to me it has been sarcastic 😂

“Fast forward to…” it’s fucking everywhere lately. Slightly less annoying I suppose if someone is describing the passing of several decades, totally obnoxious for a tale that covers an afternoon.

Anyhoo.
It isn't even a word.

Oops.

Well aren't you a peach.

Are you me?

"It's not a race to the bottom" - usually (furiously) applied when you have the temerity to point out that striking train drivers actually earn a decent salary.

I don't get D, like DH pays for escorts. On what planet is he darling to you? Hate it.

Also, whenever discussing COL "we are in very fortunate position" blah blah blah. Who cares.

Calling people ‘an arse’, I have never once heard somebody say it IRL and they would sound ridiculous if they did.

Not your circus, not your monkey's - hate this, don't know why!

Yep, they surely did 😶

I'm also not a fan.
Someone once wrote in the Style and Beauty section that a certain product had "Game changed my face"

Er... What?

And along with spitting out tea and coffee (gross), posters are often "howling" at something vaguely amusing. I imagine a grown woman at her laptop, head thrown back howling at the moon like a coyote.

I just dropped and iron on my foot, I just found a boil on my backside

"If you have a problem with that you're just jealous"

(I may have made a little of that upself but I don't get the jealous thing thrown in)

"And along with spitting out tea and coffee (gross), posters are often "howling" at something vaguely amusing. I imagine a grown woman at her laptop, head thrown back howling at the moon like a coyote."

😂

It was me, years ago, in response to a flouncer complaining about all the swearing.

Sadly deleted now but along with my pinned post in relationships it’s my proudest MN moment 🤣

Another vote for 'get your ducks in a row.' It makes me think of someone lining yellow rubber ducks on the edge of a bath

Also 'throw this one back'

I keep seeing "narc," does it mean drug user?

It means narcissist @SinnerBoy

If you refuse to ‘support’ somebody in every aspect of their lives, including what should be solo adult activities like GP appointments or removing a splinter, you’re a toxic narcissist and wouldn’t be anyone on here’s friend.

I hate it when someone says 'is that you (insert name)?'
eg someone is being nice about Prince Harry on a slag off Harry thread so a poster says is that you Meghan?' as if they're being hilarious.
Also all this inserting random names into a sentence eg 'Calm down, Debbie' or 'they think it must be true coz Pat off Facebook said so'.
It was mildly amusing the first time, now it just makes me cringe.