Annoying Mumsnet Phrases

[TheShellBeach]

Such as "Give my head a wobble" and "Holibobs", neither of which I have ever heard IRL.

Why do you need to know OP?
What are you getting from this OP?

Resilient.

came here to say this

Also, the things people will advise you to say to say outright to your friend/colleague/family member during a disagreement:
'That doesn't work for me'
'no'
'You owe me x amount by x date'
'Please be here by x time otherwise I will do x'
etc etc...do people ACTUALLY speak like that to friends/family/colleagues/anyone they are likely to have to come across again IRL? I get the importance of advocating for yourself and standing your ground in certain situations but I can't believe that so many people would so comfortably speak in such a direct and rude way to people that they have to keep seeing/having a relationship with afterwards

Don't be THAT parent, OP.

picking up some bits
quality cashmere

That's raayyycist 😫

About something that isn't, the poster and their clique just want to take a thread down.

Get your ducks in a row

Gives me the ick

You win the internet.
You are [ x person]and I claim my £5.
We’ve lost sight of what a healthy size/ portion looks like.

I always imagine this being said by a blonde woman with lovely puffy hair and an unreasonably large grin that looks like it might split her head in half, and she's wearing whatever the "in thing" is right now (in white), and as she says the word "Gosh", she claps and clasps her hands together, crosses her legs, and hunches forward to the edge of her seat.

She is accompanied by an older bloke who sort of sits there motionless, smiling whilst internally screaming

So basically Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield.

'So basically Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield'

Massive salad 🥗

Unmumsnetty hugs

Cocklodger

Ditto when they say the same about disgustingly ill mannered teenage girls.

"Gently OP"
"I say this kindly, OP"

Just mean the poster is going to put the boot in and be a patronising twat.

Bulk it out with lentils.

No. And I'll bulk you out with lentils if you continue in this heinous manner. Fuck off.

You can totally see it though right?

What does CF stand for e.g. is he being a CF? I'm imagining something along the lines of 'cnt fcker' or similar?

It means cheeky fucker.

@dolor oh of course! Thanks.

Vile.
Grim.
Ick.
Naice.
Cocklodger.
D in front of everything.
I mean this kindly/ gently.
Are you me.
You do you.

Makes me want to punch my phone straight through the wall.

Handhold

I heard "getting your ducks in a row" on Judge Judy the other day! Not sure I've heard it outside of MN

"D" anything but especially when followed by a description of a husband abusing his wife/family. "should I leave DH?" do you really think he is a "darling"?

"Namechanged for this - penis beaker, naice Ham, Mexican house THIEF" etc WHO CARES HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN HERE

‘lashings of’ do people really talk like they are in an Enid Blyton novel?

”Can I ask for a handhold”

irritates the hell out of me. I refuse to read any thread with that in the title.