Annoying Mumsnet Phrases

[TheShellBeach]

Such as "Give my head a wobble" and "Holibobs", neither of which I have ever heard IRL.

I like it meself.

"Why won't he propose?!"
Because he has no intention to marry you.

'Could you be peri?'
In response to everything 🙄

‘That doesn’t work for me.’ Such a weird, unnatural way of saying, ‘No, can’t do whatever it is.’ Maybe with a ‘sorry’, added, if the asker is not too much of a CF.

'birthed/birthing'
(I accept this is probably an age thing, but it still grates)

Ditto 'cringe'.

I don’t see the issue with ‘D’ etc. either - except that SiL can be confusing - son or sister in law.
When I first came across dh decades ago, on a completely different forum, I was bemused for a bit - Dopey Herbert? Dratted husband? Didn’t take long to dawn, though

Even when they have done that and post a clearly negative test, there are always people on here who shout ”I can definitely see a faint line! You are going to be a mummy!!1!11!”

Yes and 'my invisible line is sitting next to me on the sofa right now!'

There does seem to be a funny idea that pregnancy tests are more complicated than they are. They're not supposed to show a positive if you break them open, take a photo and flip the contrast, squint and hold them at an angle...They're supposed to show a clear line that you can easily see if positive and they do.

The "invisible line positives" are almost always because you were just testing too early. And in real life, I've never known a negative test to be wrong if you waited until you were due.

But like I said before, I know how TTC drives you insane. But sometimes...you just have to wait and see!

Only on MN is everyone who ever dissed you a "narc" - DH, DM, DMIL, DFIL etc etc

LTB is trotted out for the most minor of offences eg DH didn't wash the lettuce while preparing a (massive) salad!!!!!

Only on MN do All kids have some sen label or are advised to get a diagnosis for the most common child-like behaviours eg 2 yr old had a tantrum in Waitrose because I wouldn't buy him the naice ham
Dd refuses to eat her peas etc etc

Back in the real world this is all v rare.

There is sometimes someone who denies the evidence of an obvious line which is also annoying. I posted two pregnancy positive tests because the second seemed lighter than the first and was in a TTC tailspin. Someone replied with a sarky comment and ended it with 'they're both negative anyway!'. They were positive, clearly so, everyone else could see them and I have since had the baby 😄

I think if you can’t see the line in RL clear enough to not know if there is one it’s even harder for people on the internet to see one.

I can hardly ever see a line, but maybe in RL in good light there is one. 🤷‍♀️

Evidently not, if they're posting it on here asking what people can see!

The one good piece of advice is to use the pink dye ones if you're testing early. They are indeed clearer, although if you wait until you're due, a blue one really should be fine.

Haha same here.
Generally, when someone asks me if I meant to be so rude, the answer is that yes, I absolutely did.

Evidently.
I get it, because the majority are desperate to see a line so even if they can't , they want to see if random people on the internet can I guess.
I don't understand all the test dismantling though, I would want a positive using the test as per the instructions.

I think if women are ttc, they become fixated on getting a positive test and some cannot cope with seeing an obviously negative one

On the subject of conception, have we had "bd" yet? "DH and I BDd the day before ovulation. Could I be pregnant?" It's so faux coy. We all know about sex, no need to hide it behind euphemisms

What's BD? I haven't seen that one. Just the awful DTD.

@ReneBumsWombats "baby dance" I believe.

Oh good God...

Especially when followed with a “don’t elaborate on why it doesn’t work for you”. Nobody speaks like that in real life. You’re just expected to say “that doesn’t work for me” and that’s it. Okay.

In response to shitty behaviour someone always says they are autistic.

when someone is struggling a bit financially someone says just increase your hours or get another part time job.

you can feed 8 with leftovers from a small chicken.

I had forgotten baby dancing.
Bleurgh.

Gifted (as in giving someone a present).
I fucking hate that

Go and do the Freedom Programme!