Annoying Mumsnet Phrases

[TheShellBeach]

Such as "Give my head a wobble" and "Holibobs", neither of which I have ever heard IRL.

You're quite right.

"when someone shows you who they are, believe them" on every thread.

ODFOD.
So rude!

What's your AIBU?
Always said aggressively halfway through page one of a thread.

@userxx

'is an uneducated vulgarian who picks their nose and burps loudly.

Huge snob!
Don't we all do those things?!

You need to have an open and honest conversation, seen this so many times drives me mad

Bubba

This

'Cohort' for every random group of people
'Fast forward to..' always makes a thread sound like bad fiction.

“Could it be peri-menopause?” said in connection to almost everything.
e.g. OP saying “today I had a headache in the morning, could it be peri-menopause?”
”my dog growled at me, could it be I’m peri-menopausal?”
”my husband didn’t like what I served him for dinner tonight, maybe I’m peri-menopausal?
It’s ridiculous.

I hate D in front of partner (P), daughter (D) and all other Ds. It is just stupid. I also dislike, "We are pregnant", when surely everyone knows only a woman can be pregnant.
The use of 'they' and 'their' when speaking about a girl/woman or boy/man. That is PC gone too far.
'Gifting' and 'gifted' instead of 'giving' and 'gave'.
I realise some of these are not exclusive to Mn.

Brilliant! 😂😂

high earner
unmumsnetty hug
Have a cake/coffee/wine (insert appropriate emoji) - looks so childish
didn't want to read and run
"he is just not that into you" said gleefully over and over again on dating advice threads.
Copying and changing words in your post and then "fixed it for you"

Cherchez la femme
When I is worried about her partner behaving differently. It just sounds so dickish every time

No! *There's really no need to be describing what's going on with your fanny on an online forum at all. TMI. Have some decorum!
Imagine a man coming on one of those 'which celebrities do you fancy?' thread and stating that X gave him "a massive raging hard on". He'd rightly be told that he was being inappropriate. This is exactly the same.

• Enquiries on a health board excepted.

I haven't seen it for a while, but there was a spate of "Squee!" at one point on here if anything vaguely cute was alluded to.

Squee

Irrationally annoyed me.

Not terms, but when posters carry on dull, pointless on and ons like ‘I say it’, ‘I don’t’, ‘well, they do where I’m from’, ‘well, not here’ cutting across the whole thread, just getting in everyone’s way. Pack it the fuck in.

Spidey senses

Oh yes. Used very often by those who offer unmumsnetty hugs, coffee and cake emojis , when you disagree with them.

'Mental load' and 'meal planning' both irritate me immensely - just seem to make normal parts of life into something bigger.

109% and don’t even get me started on ‘support system’

People "screaming". I have never in my life screamed at anyone nor has anyone ever screamed at me. I always assume this translates to someone raising their voice a little.

People "literally crying all day". Nah...

Life admin- so much to do, like "sorting out new car insurance/mot/booking gas safety check". These are things you do once a year and they take 5 minutes.

"Are you me?". Pointless! If you want to share your own situation then do it, properly.