Family missing with newborn....

[ChocChocYum]

www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/23233264.bolton-m61-appeal-help-finding-missing-family-newborn-baby/

Where are they? How can they go missing? Hope they are ok

If they think they're in a tent they must have an idea of whereabouts they are then?

Apparently they bought a tent and camping equipment on 7th January in East London
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/jan/24/couple-missing-with-newborn-baby-may-have-been-sleeping-rough-police-fear

I agree and it’s rare for a mother to harm her child. Those are the extreme cases. There are many where the Luther may need time to be assessed but there is no space in a mother and baby unit etc so the only alternative is removal while things are looked at . There needs to be more funding to keep mothers and babies together to assess and then hopefully less removals and adoptions.

Luther - mother

'I agree and it’s rare for a mother to harm her child.'

Intentional harm may be rare but it's the neglect (by product of drug use usually) and exposure to violent men in the home that often mean a babies can't go home with their mothers.

Not sure how much access to money they have though.... maybe it is running out?

They've clearly bought a pushchair, tent etc, but in one of the photos MG has carrier bags over his shoes. Maybe the money is running out.

We can only speculate, but every trip into a shop does increase the likelihood of someone spotting them and reporting it.

They may have decided that bags over shoes is a lower risk alternative than a trip to a shoe shop.

I suspect a lot of people won't report them (think I've posted this before) because they don't want to be involved in removing a child from its mother without knowing why (like we can all guess that's what will happen and we haven't explicitly been told why). In daily life I've been surprised at how much people turn a blind eye to.

These mothers deserve a chance though and a placement in a unit where they can be assessed and supported could keep families together . I suppose it’s a cost issue but then surely foster care costs local authorities much more

The vast majority of care proceedings either have plans where the LA wish for the parents to be placed in a parent and child placement (either FC or a residential unit), or if the LA proposes separation the court may not agree and prefer a parent and child placement to be found

There are various outcomes to that

• no placement is found, sometimes due to availability, sometimes because the issues involving the parents behaviour makes it difficult for providers to accept the referral
• the parents dont want to be in a parent and child placement (do people have any concept of what this might feel like for parents?)
• the placement is in Cumbria and the family live in Sussex and they dont want to be placed so far away
• the placement starts and the provider/FC give notice due to behaviour from the parents
• the placement has to end urgently due to the child coming to harm because the child is in the parents care

For babies and very young children I should add

It’s so cold. A newborn in a tent…so sad. I hope the are found and helped.

The problem is we don't know why social services are concerned. It is really none of our business, they don't have to disclose it.

But it makes people more hesitant to report sightings or knowledge of their whereabouts to the police.

I am concerned that posts on here, without any knowledge at all of the specific situation, are sowing mistrust of social services and pushing a narrative that they are evil to separate mothers from their babies, and that this will discourage people from reporting if they do see them.

I don’t think anyone thinks that they are evil, but equally their actions are not always correct.

It must be an incredibly difficult job so I am not being critical, but certainly I do think it is an act of immense cruelty to separate a newborn from his mother. It should only be done in circumstances where there is absolutely no alternative whatsoever. That could be so in this case, I don’t know, but to be honest the fact she’s gone to such desperate acts is indicative of some dedication.

@BloodAndFire

Any exposure to the news will show us SW failings.

However rational intelligent people as usually those found on mn are able to make their own deductions and come to their own conclusions.

My guess is that they're co-sleeping with the baby in a sleeping bag to keep them warm. That in and of itself seems like quite a big risk from a SIDS point of view.

They could also easily make a mistake while trying to keep warm and induce carbon monoxide poisoning, or a fire.

Tents and sleeping bags from Argos aren't exactly going to be of the highest quality; they're designed for a festival not Britain in January.

It's all desperately sad, and indicative of a couple who cannot put their baby's needs first.

Maybe what he needs is his mother right by him.

Not if it means sleeping in a tent in freezing conditions!

And probably not if she has had several other children taken away. This doesn't happen lightly.

What if - for example, we don't know in this case - his mother is regularly passing out due to substance abuse? Unable to respond to his needs, leaving him hungry, in dirty nappies and uncomforted for long periods of time?

Or possibly (as in DD's birth mother's case) as well as the passing out, putting some of the alcohol into his bottle of milk so he will sleep and not bother her?

Just a thought...

It isn't as rare as you think unintentional harm is still harm no woman should be so neglectful that her newvorn needs to go into emergency care .

What all babies need is a safe, reliable adult who can meet their health, food, safety and attachment needs. For some babies that is mum, for others it isn’t.

Newborn*

Of course. But for some 'being with his mother' trumps everything doesn't it, doesn't matter if she's a risk to him..
Oh and if anything does go wrong 'it's everyone else's fault'.

We don’t know she’s neglecting the baby. We do know they have bought a pushchair and tent, sleeping bags and pillows. So that sounds like they are trying their best. On the news report I saw it also said they have been thought to be staying in hotels.